Chapter Text
The next day, Wei Wuxian corners Lan Zhan at his locker just before the bell rings. "Lan Zhan!"
Wei Wuxian had tried asking him in their English class but Lan Zhan had looked at him with those serious, solemn eyes and said, "Yes, Wei Ying, you can ask me anything," and he'd chickened out faster than you could say, well, chicken. In the end, Wei Wuxian had decided that he'd approach Lan Zhan at the end of the day, that way if things got too awkward, he could go home straight afterwards.
Lan Zhan looks up. "Wei Ying." And then when he sees that Wei Wuxian isn't leaving anytime soon, "Do you require something?"
Wei Wuxian laughs, "Ah no." He scratches his neck awkwardly. "Actually, I was thinking of the Winter Ball, and how everyone is going with the people they like and-"
"Are you going with someone?"
Wei Wuxian immediately back peddles, "Oh, no. I, uh, I'm just going with my friends. You know, Jiang Cheng and Wen Ning and the rest."
Lan Zhan looks confused now and Wei Wuxian can see how he messed up. First telling him that everyone goes to the Winter Ball with people they like and then saying that he's only going with friends. Well, technically he does like his friends but...yeah, he really should have planned this better.
"Anyway," says Wei Wuxian, waving his hands in a forget about what I just said movement. "I was wondering if you," deep breath, "like someone?"
Lan Zhan still looks confused. "Like someone?"
"Yes, you know, like, maybe Mianmian?"
Lan Zhan seems to have just realised what Wei Wuxian is asking and his entire body stiffens. "No."
Wei Wuxian wants to leave, like yesterday but he has to see this through.
"OK, how about Wen Qing?
Flatly Lan Zhan says, "No."
"Um, Wen Ning?"
"No."
Wei Wuxian is running out of options. In desperation, he asks, "Jiang Cheng?"
He doesn't think Lan Zhan likes Jiang Cheng but it has to be one of his friends and he's running out of options.
Lan Zhan looks angry now. He says very, very coldly, "No."
"OK, er, how about-"
"Is the purpose of this," interrupts Lan Zhan, "To set me up with your friends?"
"No," protests Wei Wuxian, spluttering, "No, of course not." But, as he repeats their conversation in his head, he can see how Lan Zhan might have thought that. How Wei Wuxian might have, accidentally, led Lan Zhan to believe that.
Lan Zhan doesn't believe him. It's there on his face and Wei Wuxian tries to explain to him without giving away the real reason but Lan Zhan's face has turned stony. He clearly wants Wei Wuxian to leave.
Wei Wuxian leaves.
Wei Wuxian needs to be alone so he texts Jiejie that he won't be walking home with her and Jiang Cheng. His sister doesn't ask any questions but Wei Wuxian needs to say something to her. He texts,
"I messed up."
His Jiejie texts back, "Then fix it, A-Xian."
He needs to fix it. All he can think about is the look on Lan Zhan's face. Wei Wuxian imagines how he would have felt if Lan Zhan had approached him and tried to set Wei Wuxian up with one of his friends. Even though that's not what Wei Wuxian did, it's what Lan Zhan thinks he was trying to do and Wei Wuxian knows that if their situations were reversed, Wei Wuxian would feel awful. And angry and upset. It would feel like a pity date or something similar and no one wants that.
Lan Zhan doesn't have many friends but it's more of an alone thing rather than a lonely thing. He once bluntly told Wei Wuxian that he didn't get along with people and preferred his own company which is actually fair enough. Sometimes even Wei Wuxian needs a break from his friends. But that just makes the whole situation worse, like Wei Wuxian was feeling sorry for Lan Zhan and decided to get him a date with a friend of his.
Wei Wuxian is almost at Lan Zhan's house when he realises that his brain has taken him there automatically. He's been there only once for an English project but he'd memorised the address. At the time, he didn't understand why he felt so compelled to remember Lan Zhan's address but now he thinks he knows why. Maybe it's because even at that time, at the very start of whatever relationship they have, some part of Wei Wuxian knew it was inevitable that he'd fall in love with him and he wanted to remember every little detail about Lan Zhan that he could.
In love. With Lan Zhan. Wei Wuxian has just said it. In his mind, but still. It counts.
All that time he'd spent trying to deny it and now it comes out like a flood and Wei Wuxian feels nothing but relief. I love him.
And he needs to tell Lan Zhan. Even if it's going to be horribly embarrassing when Lan Zhan inevitably has to tell him he doesn't feel the same. Still, Wei Wuxian thinks that Lan Zhan wouldn't be cruel about it. Despite his reputation as a Jade Prince, Lan Zhan is very kind. Besides, he owes Lan Zhan an apology for today and the best way to explain to him that, no he wasn't trying to set him up with his friends is to tell the truth. Even if it means that Wei Wuxian will never be able to look Lan Zhan in the eye or that Lan Zhan never calls him Wei Ying! again in that exasperated but fond tone.
When he gets to Lan Zhan's door, Wei Wuxian takes a deep breath before knocking. He's denied being in love with Lan Zhan for so long and now in one day he has to acknowledge his feelings and confess them. To the person he's in love with in. Yeah, as Jiang Cheng once complained, Wei Wuxian never does anything halfway.
Lan Xichen opens the door. Wei Wuxian knows it's him because Lan Zhan always talks about his older brother and he looks exactly like Lan Zhan, just a little taller. And, oh yeah, he's smiling. How strange. Lan Zhan never smiles. Except for when Wei Wuxian makes a good joke and then his lips rise up. Just a little. And then Wei Wuxian is distracted for the rest of the day because he wants to kiss that little corner so badly and - woah, just how much has Wei Wuxian repressed? Because today he's had realisation after realisation.
"Um hi. I'm here to see Lan Zhan."
Lan Xichen looks at him thoughtfully and Wei Wuxian wonders nervously if Lan Zhan has said something to him. Lan Xichen doesn't look angry though, so maybe not.
"He was sad when he came home today."
Wei Wuxian is about to launch into a thousand apologies and explanations but Lan Xichen stops him.
"All I need to know is, are you going to fix it?"
Wow, Lan Xichen is giving Wei Wuxian major older siblings vibe. He and Jiejie would get along so well. How do Lan Xichen and Jiejie do it - pack so much expectation into a simple sentence? But that's a question to ponder for another day, right now he has to fix things with Lan Zhan.
"Yes. I will," Wei Wuxian answers, with a steady determination. Because he will fix it. Hurting Lan Zhan, hurts him.
Lan Xichen nods then gives him the direction to Lan Zhan's bedroom. Wei Wuxian has never been there before, they had done their project in the kitchen. If this was any other day, Wei Wuxian would be vibrating with excitement at being able to see Lan Zhan's bedroom. For reasons he probably wouldn't even admit to himself. But today, all he feels is hesitation.
He knocks on Lan Zhan's bedroom door. Or well, he hopes it's Lan Zhan's room. Wei Wuxian is terrible with directions and this house easily rivals a mansion because of how big it is.
Wei Wuxian coughs, "This is Wei Wuxian. Your brother let me in."
He hears, "Wei Ying?" and he doesn't have time to be relieved that it is in fact the right bedroom because Lan Zhan is opening the door and looking at him with a mixture of surprise and hurt. The cold look he had worn at school has melted away completely and now he looks unguarded, vulnerable.
Wei Wuxian says, "Hi?"
Lan Zhan blinks and then opens the door further. Wei Wuxian goes in.
The room is a pale blue which somehow suits Lan Zhan perfectly. It's neat and clean (of course it is), it's not very big which puzzles Wei Wuxian, why live in such a gigantic house but have a (relatively) small bedroom but then again, Lan Zhan has very simple tastes, he probably insisted on it himself. There's a bookshelf in the corner which is crammed with books and a table that's probably used for-
"Wei Ying?"
Right. Wei Wuxian didn't come here to gawk at a bedroom. No, he just came to confess his love to the owner of that bedroom. Wei Wuxian turns his attention away reluctantly from the bookshelf, he would love to see what sort of books Lan Zhan reads for fun but maybe he'll have time for that later. When Lan Zhan is gently breaking his heart. Surely, he'd let Wei Wuxian look at his bookshelf then, he'd have to, as a pity offer at least.
"Lan Zhan. I -" Wei Wuxian swallows, nervously. Just get it over with, he tells himself. And then he can go home and cry in Jiejie's lap.
"I was asking you who you liked," he starts hesitantly. "Because-"
Lan Zhan's face immediately drops. "You do not have to explain. I understand why-"
Wei Wuxian shakes his head. "No, I need to explain why. It's not what you think."
"Please don't," says Lan Zhan. "I know that you were trying to be kind but-"
Lan Zhan isn't even going to give him a chance to explain. He's so convinced that it was something Wei Wuxian did out of pity. In frustration Wei Wuxian reaches forwards and grasps Lan Zhan's arm. "I need to explain."
Lan Zhan glances down at Wei Wuxian's hand on him, his expression indescribable.
"I was asking you who you liked because," Wei Wuxian's heart is beating fast, his palms feel sweaty and he thinks he's about to faint.
Just say it.
"Because. Because-" he takes a gulp of breath and says in a rush, "BecauseILikeYou."
Lan Zhan says, "Pardon?"
Oh great. He's got to do it again. This is the last time, Wei Wuxian promises himself. If he has to say it one more time he might actually faint. "Because," he says very slowly, "Because I like you."
This time Lan Zhan does not say Pardon? and Wei Wuxian is so relieved that he could cry. Or laugh. Or both. He sits down on Lan Zhan's bed because he actually is feeling a little dizzy and the only thing that would make this whole confession even more embarrassing is to faint and Wei Wuxian refuses to do that. He would like to hold on to the last shred of his dignity, thank you very much.
While Wei Wuxian tries to get back feeling in his legs, Lan Zhan stares at him.
"You. Like. Me. You like me?"
"Yes," says Wei Wuxian. His heartbeat is finally back to normal which is a relief but his legs are still shaking which isn't so good.
"That's why I was asking you who you liked so I could finally convince myself that I had no hope, it wasn't because-"
"Wait," says Lan Zhan, his voice full of disbelief. "Why did you want to convince yourself that you had no hope?"
Now it's Wei Wuxian's turn to stare. He hadn't thought of Lan Zhan as unkind but why else is he asking him that? Isn't it obvious?
"Because," Wei Wuxian says carefully, trying to get Lan Zhan to understand. "You're too good for me. And anyway, you already have someone you like."
"Too good for you?" repeats Lan Zhan but then he shakes his head. "I will come back to that later. Who do you think I like?"
This conversation is lasting a lot longer than Wei Wuxian had thought it would and it's also a million times more painful.
"I don't know," says Wei Wuxian, "That's why I was asking you, because I don't know who you like. I just assumed it was Mianmian or Wen Ning or someone."
Lan Zhan is looking very intently at him. It's making Wei Wuxian a little uncomfortable actually. What is he thinking?
"Mianmian or Wen Ning?" repeats Lan Zhan. He really looks fascinated or like he's had an epiphany or - something, Wei Wuxian isn't sure how to describe his look but it's. A lot.
"I don't know," says Wei Wuxian defensively, "I said, or someone." He waves his hands, "You can't blame me for thinking that, whenever I looked at you, it was like you gazing at one of my friends, like Mianmian."
"Or you."
"Yeah, or-" Wei Wuxian stills. "Or me?"
"Mn. You."
Which doesn't make sense except- Wei Wuxian looks down at his hands. They're clenched tightly into fists. He can feel his nails digging into his palms. The pain is all that keeps his mind focused. Lan Zhan can't be saying that Wei Wuxian is the one he's been gazing at all this time. Can he?
Lan Zhan puts his hand under Wei Wuxian's chin and lifts it gently to meet his eyes. "When you've been looking at me, Wei Ying, I've been looking right back. At you."
"Oh." Which is all Wei Wuxian can say but it's fine, Lan Zhan can't possibly like him for his intelligence, it must be something else.
Lan Zhan likes him. Lan Zhan likes him. Lan Zhan likes him, Wei Wuxian.
"Uh, so, in light of this new information," says Wei Wuxian, feeling suddenly very unsure. He'd been more confident when he thought Lan Zhan liked someone else. "Would you, um, only if you want to, there's no pressure and actually if you did say no-"
"Wei Ying," says Lan Zhan tenderly, amusement clear on his face.
Wei Wuxian clears his throat and tries not to blush. When Lan Zhan's eyes soften even more, he knows he doesn't succeed.
"Would you, um, like to go to the Winter Ball with me?"
"Yes."
"Uh, okay."
Wei Wuxian knows that he'll regain his innate confidence eventually, and then he'll wow Lan Zhan with his cleverness and sparkling wit but it doesn't seem like it's going to return anytime soon so he should definitely leave before he embarrasses himself any further.
When he gets home and tells Jiejie everything that happened, she beams and hugs him and tells him that she knew all along that Lan Zhan liked him back. From who knows where, Jiang Cheng yells, that Wei Wuxian is the only one who didn't know and he's so fucking stupid while Jiejie shushes Jiang Cheng and tells him to be nicer.
Later when Wei Wuxian is lying in bed, flashes of happiness and delight and disbelief still bubbling in his chest, Lan Zhan texts him which helps with the disbelief. He had asked for Wei Wuxian's number before he left and Wei Wuxian had told him the wrong numbers twice (2!) before finally getting it right, wondering why he was such a mess when Lan Zhan was so cool and calm. And amused.
Lan Zhan has texted,
LWJ:Do you like Miannian?
Wei Wuxian rolls his eyes but figures he deserves it.
WX:No
LWJ:Do you like Wen Qing?
WX:NO
LWJ:Do you like Wen Ning?
Wei Wuxian shifts to get comfortable. Looks like Lan Zhan is really going to do this. Oh well. You reap what you sow and all that.
WX:No!
LWJ:Do you like Jiang Cheng?
Wei Wuxian can't believe that he asked Lan Zhan if he likes Jiang Cheng. What on earth possessed him to ask that?? Even Jiang Cheng doesn't like Jiang Cheng.
WX:NO🤢 pls don't ever ask me that again.
LWJ:Do you like me?
Finally! Wei Wuxian grins.
WX:Yes❤
What about you, who do you like?
Lan Zhan texts back:
LWJ:An idiot
Which, you know, is fair enough.
Just before Wei Wuxian is about to go to sleep, his phone pings with another message.
LWJ:Wei Ying, I will always be looking at you.
He goes to sleep with a smile on his face and a feeling of indescribable happiness.