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  1. *

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    Summary

    When Cliff learns Ilya is moving to Ottawa for Canadian citizenship, he offers to marry Ilya so he stays and can get American citizenship, which somehow leads him to learn that "Jane" is actually THE Shane Hollander.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,250
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    85
    Kudos:
    2,446
    Bookmarks:
    234
    Hits:
    12,548
  2. *

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    Harris (Barrett):
    You walk Ilya like a dog.

    Jane (Rozanov):
    He is exactly where he wants to be.

    Or, Shane gets added to the Ottawa WAGs group chat.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,929
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    150
    Kudos:
    5,071
    Bookmarks:
    670
    Hits:
    29,417
  3. *

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    Summary

    Shane: All this hiding, and we can’t even be together when it really matters?
    Shane: Fuck that. Fuck all of it. I’m coming to Florida.
    Shane: I choose you. Always.

    Ilya: I love you.

    Shane: I love you, too.
    Shane: Are you going to tell me not to come?

    Ilya: Fuck no.
    Ilya: I need you here. Please hurry.

    Shane: I’ll tell the pilot to fly faster ❤️ I’m paying him enough.
    Shane: Don’t drink too much, because we’re going to have a lot of really emotional sex when I get there, and I can’t have your dick going limp on me.

    Ilya: He would NEVER.

    Shane: ❤️

    __________

    Troy: Holy shit.
    Troy: HOLY SHIT.
    Troy: Shane Hollander is naked in your bed.
    Troy: Shane Hollander is NAKED in your bed.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,936
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    557
    Kudos:
    16,212
    Bookmarks:
    1,766
    Hits:
    80,137
  4. *

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    Summary

    Two weeks of summer camp during summer 2022 as told by texts, social media, and alternating POVs.

    Lots of fluff, fun, and of course hurt/comfort!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    78,911
    Chapters:
    15/15
    Comments:
    668
    Kudos:
    2,712
    Bookmarks:
    698
    Hits:
    67,907
  5. *

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    Summary

    “Okay, first of all, do you have a partner at all?” Boodram asked.

    Ilya frowned. “Yes? I have partner? Why is this needed information?” The second the words were out of his mouth, Ilya regretted them a little, he shouldn't have admitted to that. Sure Boston was aware he had someone, but he never actually confirmed that, just said she was best hook up.

    “Alright then, my wife Cassie would like her number”

    “Why.”

    “Oh for the WAGS groupchat” Upon receiving the confused look, Boodram expanded “Wives and girlfriends chat. It's basically what it sounds like, a chat with all the partners of players. My wife runs it, and wanted to know if you had a partner from add to it”

    Or

    Shane gets added to the Ottawa WAGS, makes some friends and learns things about himself along the way.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,538
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Collections:
    5
    Comments:
    487
    Kudos:
    5,989
    Bookmarks:
    1,071
    Hits:
    72,560
  6. *

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    Summary

    ✨Secret✨ Support Group

    January 22 2017

    Hayden Pike has added JJ Boiziau to the chat

    Cliff
    welcome to the group chat, grab a case of beer, lol

    JJ
    I refuse to be in a group chat with a Boston player 😡

    ___________________

    Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander are many things - generational hockey talents, captains of their respective teams, hopelessly in love... One thing they are not is subtle.

    When their friends and associates start to catch on, they have to turn to each other for support, lest Hollander and Rozanov discover that their secret is the worst kept in the league.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,053
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    114
    Kudos:
    2,359
    Bookmarks:
    429
    Hits:
    16,005
  7. 46

    Tags
    Summary

    Some little moments from the Hollander family group chat with Ilya.

     

    Ilya: He is always like this :(

    Shane: I didn’t do anything!

    -Ilya has changed the groupname to: Mom & Dad & favorite son (& Shane)-

    Shane: ILYA!

    David: Ha! I think its funny.

    Ilya: See, he likes it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,246
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Comments:
    48
    Kudos:
    352
    Bookmarks:
    46
    Hits:
    6,813
  8. *

    Tags
    Summary

    Me: I had fun with Marlow last night. Do you think he is hot?

    Jane: What the fuck?

    Or, Cliff finds himself in possession of his good friend and captain Ilya Rozanov’s phone, and 20 bucks is 20 bucks.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,689
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    211
    Kudos:
    6,513
    Bookmarks:
    620
    Hits:
    40,874
  9. *

    Tags
    Summary

    Bood
    what have you given her before?

    Ilya
    A fucking, mostly

    Bood
    CHEAP
    CHEAP GIFT GIVER

    Ilya enlists Bood & the Ottawa WAGs to help brainstorm ideas for his first proper Valentine’s Day with ‘Jane’.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    41,287
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    1,860
    Kudos:
    20,631
    Bookmarks:
    4,094
    Hits:
    198,074
  10. *

    Tags
    Summary


    Shane: Hi. This is Shane Hollander.
    Lily: ???
    Shane: From the bar? You left me your number.
    Shane: This is Lily right?
    Lily: Sure.
    Lily: Hello Shane.
    Shane: Hi.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,576
    Chapters:
    14/14
    Comments:
    1,329
    Kudos:
    8,451
    Bookmarks:
    1,816
    Hits:
    74,140
  11. *

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    Summary

    They may not have any idea how to do it, but there’s no way in hell the Montreal Metros are going to risk losing their Captain to a more accepting team. Full of determination, grit, open hearts, and absolutely no savvy, this team is going to learn how to be allies, come hell or high water.


    Hayden: did anyone do the optional inclusivity training last season?
    J.J. Boizeau: no
    Lawrence Olsson: no
    Gilbert Comeau: no
    Petro Andropov: no
    Matty Wilson: no
    Cam Stedlund: no
    Albert Schneider: no
    Aleks Miitka: no
    Georges Gagnon: no
    Patrice Drapeau: no
    Hayden: excellent, we’re nailing this so far

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,955
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    9
    Comments:
    1,636
    Kudos:
    14,440
    Bookmarks:
    2,586
    Hits:
    71,184
  12. *

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    Summary

    Bood: And what would this person need to get Roz to settle down?
    Roz: must be most beautiful person you have ever seen
    Roz: very funny but does not know they are funny
    Roz: and suck dick like their life depends on it

    Or: The Centaurs know that Roz is sad, and probably a little lonely. So they do their best to set him up with someone who matches his specific list of requirements. What they don't know is that their captain has already found that person.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,781
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    11
    Comments:
    835
    Kudos:
    22,920
    Bookmarks:
    3,819
    Hits:
    119,357
  13. *

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    Summary

    Haley
    Hi Shane! Just messaging about our heater again. Do you think we could get it fixed today?
    Shane
    So sorry for the late reply, Haley! I’m at the Olympics and my time zones are all messed up. Messaged my HVAC guy and he’ll be there in the morning.

    Haley
    screenshot.jpg
    Wtf?
    Katie
    Is this guy fr???

    Or: the trials and tribulations of renting from Shane Hollander.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,560
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    969
    Kudos:
    13,034
    Bookmarks:
    2,138
    Hits:
    100,851
  14. *

    Tags
    Summary

    The group chat of Shane Hollander's tenants.

    (Four girls bound by a shared roof, a lack of any sports knowledge, an NDA, and a smoking hot Handyman(?))

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,368
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    1,007
    Kudos:
    4,953
    Bookmarks:
    1,124
    Hits:
    56,976
  15. *

    Tags
    Summary

    Ilya: Harris just sent me this
    Ilya: https://youtu.be/uloVJQ122Q8?si=oQR0acsf0XsGOnFH
    Ilya: what is this??

    Shane: It’s the commercial for Peloton I did a month ago when you were in Tampa with the team

    Ilya: you didn’t tell me this

    Or: Shane does the Hudson Williams Peloton commercial and Ilya finds out about it - a text chain
    edit: and other text chains apparently

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,837
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    174
    Kudos:
    5,928
    Bookmarks:
    589
    Hits:
    45,325
  16. *

    Tags
    Summary

    Ilya Rozanov really, really wants Shane Hollander's asshole. First they got cockblocked by a snowstorm. Then Hollander, certified anxious flower that he is, decided to play hard to get. Ilya has spent almost two years periodically texting his rival, hoping the latter will finally agree to hook up again. Ilya hopes to stumble upon the correct sexting-to-rage-baiting ratio, enough for Hollander to get over whatever mental hurdles he's having.

    And then, as luck would have it, Ilya meets Shane Hollander's ex-girlfriend Jessica. Of course, Ilya is not above playing dirty in order to achieve his goals...

    Chaos ensues, unlikely friendships are forged through general assholery, and jury's still out on who takes the crown as greatest menace of them all.
    ___

    A mostly funny, occasionally wholesome story about friends who have your back, even when they're dicks about it! Told mainly through texts and tweets.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,176
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    345
    Kudos:
    1,898
    Bookmarks:
    356
    Hits:
    23,084
  17. *

    Tags
    Summary

    What if Shane Hollander got on his knees in a dirty club bathroom in LA, and got more than an orgasm out of it? What if he also made a friend who helped him stand up for himself?
    What if Ilya Rozanov had his very own pet dinosaur?
    What if Scott and Kip met differently?
    What if the queer NHL hockey players found each other sooner, and had each other's backs?
    What if they didn't have to navigate self-discovery, queer love, and homophobia on their own, and what if they all got to come out on their own terms?
    ___
    A funny, sweet, and (briefly!) angsty story about unexpected connections and the power of queer friendship. Told through characters' POVs and text history.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,080
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Comments:
    825
    Kudos:
    2,723
    Bookmarks:
    673
    Hits:
    45,733
  18. *

    Tags
    Summary

    [Text] Ilya: oh, I cannot do nice thing for my godchild???

    [Text] Hayden: How is she your godchild? Our kids don’t have godparents

    [Text] Ilya: exactly. position was up for grab, so I grab

    ------

    or, Ilya is determined to buy the Pike children's love

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,569
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    236
    Kudos:
    15,569
    Bookmarks:
    948
    Hits:
    98,591
  19. *

    Tags
    Summary

    ilya
    hollander did someone steal your phone what is going on

    shane
    KISS

    ilya
    kiss? who are you kissing shane?
    SHANE?

    shane
    wnt kiss
    KISS

    ilya
    oh
    me? you want kiss from me?

    shane
    YES

    or, sappy, sappy texts between shane and ilya.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,177
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    114
    Kudos:
    3,059
    Bookmarks:
    249
    Hits:
    18,673
  20. *

    Tags
    Summary

    Today 3:57 PM

    Jane: Hey so. I need you to sext me like a girl

    Today 10:18 PM

    Lily: what

    Or, Shane Hollander becomes Captain of the Metros, Ilya officially hates Hayden Pike, and there’s a new “girl” coming to the Montreal Met-Hoes chat.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,983
    Chapters:
    36/?
    Comments:
    4,584
    Kudos:
    7,677
    Bookmarks:
    1,231
    Hits:
    173,936

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