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How to Assassinate the Warden of Meropide by starofjems
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
29 Jul 2024
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' Wakefulness hit Wriothesley with a jolt of alarm. He couldn’t breathe. Something heavy and hairy covered his face. There was no time to contemplate the strangeness of the situation. This wouldn’t be the first assassination attempt on the Duke of Meropide, but it would be the first to catch him unaware in his own quarters.
Wriothesley brought his knee up to dislodge his attacker, but hit only air. The weapon of choice to smother him in his sleep hissed and sharp pricks of pain hit several points on his face. Half-awake with only self-preservation instincts guiding his actions, Wriothesley reached up to grab a handful of… fur. He yanked a massive cat off his face as he heaved in a lungful of fresh air. In the dim light of his room, he locked eyes with the cat for a split second before it yowled and swiped its claws at his hand. '
When the House of the Hearth infiltrated the Fortress of Meropide, they brought along one extra member of the family. It wasn't intentional, of course, but you try telling a magician's cat what it can and cannot do.
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Fantastic Soup and Assassin Stepmothers by froot__loopity
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics), DCU
12 Aug 2023
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Talia Al Ghul rescues Tim from kidnappers, while also keeping him captive from his family with the justification of "fully healing him". Between the amazing ninja soup and long naps, Tim learns a few things about his "stepmother".
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It wasn’t the pain that stirred him awake this time but the murmur of voices—several of them—just outside his room. As a knight, his instincts told him to be on high alert, assess the situation, and act accordingly. But what could he possibly do when the mere act of opening one eye and straining to listen sent sharp waves of pain coursing through his head? It was enough to make him fleetingly wish he could fling himself out the nearest window.
Maybe Kaeya would really die today. On his birthday.
Statistically speaking, dying out of mere season-cold was uncommon, but Kaeya felt like he might be, for this special occasion of his birthday. Might as well write this down the history of being the first person to ever die of a mere cold. What a legacy that would be.
Through the daze, Kaeya tried to find his voice, “Let me guess—Albedo gave you my house key?”
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On his birthday, Kaeya came down with a nasty cold, and the entire city of Mondstadt decided to take turns breaking into his apartment to care for him.
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A Disclaimer From Your Friendly Neighborhood Oracle:
The following is a transcript of Patrol Communications Audio written by state of the art transcription technology, IRIS (Interpretation of Recorded Intelligence Software). IRIS was created to provide easily searchable records, automatically, and eliminate the need to transcribe each patrol audio log manually. That being said, IRIS is still experimental, and may not always be entirely accurate.
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(01:25) Red Hood: (Mild static) (Out of breath, slurred) You motherfuckers. Put some fuckin-Batman: (Shaking) Red Hood-
Red Hood: Shut up. Put some fucking respect. On my name. Start fucking copying me. I just got thrown fucking. Um. 40 feet. Into a fucking uh. What's it. Ditch. I'm still fucking conscious.
Batman: Red Hood, do not move, we're en route-
Red Hood: What'll I win if I stand up.
Batman: (Loud) Do not stand up.
Series
- Part 1 of IRIS Logs
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,825
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 697
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- 7,264
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in the strange realm of sakura by drizzle_dazzle for NaAintOK
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
30 Dec 2024
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“No, no, I’m not here for anything like that. I’m here for work, and sightseeing. But mostly sightseeing.”
“Mhm, sure, I can tell what sights you want to see,” Beidou hummed with a smirk. “I’m just sayin’, he's a nice guy. Pretty good looking, too. I can see why you’d be interested.”
“Archons, why.”
“I’m tryna help you out here, little liege! Did I ever tell you that I had one of my most passionate lovers right here in Inazuma—”
“Can we please stop talking about this."
Xingqiu goes to Inazuma and falls in love in more ways than one.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,595
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 4
- Kudos:
- 45
- Bookmarks:
- 14
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- 433
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“Klee wants to go catch crystalflies at Windrise,” she says, “but Master Jean won’t let me go unless someone else takes me, and all the knights are busy! You’ll go with me, won’t you, Kaeya?”
“Of course,” Kaeya says easily. “I’m not busy.”
One of the Fatui standing in the background raises their hand. Klee had honestly forgotten that there were other people here.
“Uhm,” they say, “actually, my lord, you said that you would—”
“I’m not busy,” Kaeya repeats brightly, and swiftly ushers her towards the exit before anyone else can say anything.
In which Spark Knight Klee somehow manages to make friends with not only one, but two whole Fatui Harbingers.
Series
- Part 2 of sweet disaster
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,820
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 40
- Kudos:
- 658
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- 107
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- 5,295
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All I Can Do is Care for You by winterlogic for Heart_of_a_Dragon
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
27 Jan 2022
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Aether is Shenhe's first friend.
Aether is the first mortal Xiao has met who stayed and could stay.
All they want is to keep him safe.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,021
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 23
- Kudos:
- 786
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- 130
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- 4,643
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Xiao finds peace within she, who owns the Wanmin Restaurant.
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When invited on a cooking tour through Liyue with Xiangling, Diluc thought it'd be a working vacation. Turns out, it's just a lot of work. Written for Conviction, a Diluc Zine.
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Kokomi’s gaze narrows. “Are you implying that our love and care for our beloved Lord Orobashi is wasted?” Because even she cannot overlook such slander.
“Of course not,” he says smoothly with well-practiced ease. It is clear that his years have aided with his negotiation skills, and he dances around spoken conflict with masterful ease. Kokomi will have to pick his brain about it later. “Perhaps, though, there are those who wear many titles—all of them worth something in the end.”
Kokomi steps closer, her arms crossed over her chest as her posture relaxes ever so slightly. “I wonder, Mr. Zhongli, do you look at the world through rose-colored glasses?”
Kokomi and Zhongli strike up a friendship. Written for Dracaena Somnolenta, a Kokomi Zine.
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Cyno flips through the pages, skimming the information. “That isn’t unusual on its own. There are plenty who hunt such things for sport, particularly those in the Adventurer’s Guild. And provided they have the proper licensing—” Cyno stops dead as something in the report captures his attention. He reads it twice, and then thrice, his brow crinkling.
Tighnari reads over his arm. “Does that say ‘butchered and processed?’”
“As in food?” asks Alhaitham.
Cyno goes cryptid hunting with Xiangling. Written for Austerity, a Cyno Zine.
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down by the banks, a sunflower blooms by kavehaithams (seolarspear)
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
12 May 2024
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“Kaveh,” he confirms. “He is renowned in his line of work for his skill and passion.”
Lord Kusanali nods as if he had proved one of her silent queries. “I was hoping he would lend me a hand with this project,”
“I’m sure he would be honored,” he says earnestly.
She smiles, cheeks dimpling. “Do you really think so?”
Alhaitham smiles back, small, easy. “I know him quite well."
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Or, the one where Alhaitham is terribly, terribly in love with Kaveh.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 14,642
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 193
- Kudos:
- 3,270
- Bookmarks:
- 790
- Hits:
- 30,096
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omg all the descriptions
much love <3
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The irony of Batman having that coffee mug was amusing. The thought of Brucie Himbo Trainwreck Wayne owning it was hysterical. Ollie took a quick swallow of coffee to push back a laugh. “I like the coffee mug. A friend of mine has the same one.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,955
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 226
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- 12,334
- Bookmarks:
- 1,966
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- 53,953
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just a spark to get the fire burning by SpiritusRex
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
29 Apr 2022
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“When you use your own fire on your sword, what do you feel?”
Bennett blinks at him. “Uhm, determination? I’m pretty sure.”
“But you’re usually focusing on the sword itself, right? The sword as a weapon to fight with?”
Diluc gives Bennett a moment to think on that, and then the boy nods, just as Diluc knew he would.
“You see the act of using your Pyro abilities as entwined with your fighting,” he states. “Which is why you’re only capable of short bursts and slashes right now. But when I cover my own blade in flames outside of battle, I’m not thinking about the sword. I’m thinking about the fire itself. Sustaining the fire on its own is the first step."
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,491
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 11
- Kudos:
- 357
- Bookmarks:
- 71
- Hits:
- 2,354
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all i want is you next to me by kksbusywriting
Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
08 Feb 2022
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He watches as Katsuki goes through the motions, eyes flickering to Momo as she wields the crochet hook this way and that, starting to create something resembling what she calls a “granny stitch” from her spot on the couch in the common room. He hides his chuckle at Katsuki’s confused but determined face, thinking he’s adorable with the way the furrow in his brow deepens in his concentration.
“When you’ve got all the basic stitches down,” she says, eyes glittering in the soft light, “this is one of the easier stitches that’s not just the basic stitch itself, and it works up faster.” Hitoshi can hear her get quieter, as if she’s trying to hide her next words from Shinsou, and she continues, “so if you wanted to make a blanket, this would be a fast way to do so.”
A blanket? Interesting, Hitoshi decides. He chooses to keep quiet rather than let Momo know he heard her, and his eyes pan over the yarn in the blond’s hands.
It’s a variegated yarn, one with a lot of color, yet also not. Hitoshi’s not a yarn expert, but there are many… variations of purple in it. It reminds him of himself.
Or; Katsuki learns to crochet. It has devastating consequences.
Series
- Part 1 of crochet duology
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,286
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 18
- Kudos:
- 903
- Bookmarks:
- 122
- Hits:
- 5,463
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Leitmotif by LunaLucrea for orkestrations
Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
21 Dec 2020
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Leitmotif- a recurrent theme throughout a musical or literary composition, associated with a particular person, idea, or situation.
Izuku decides to Intern with Present Mic.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,709
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 18
- Comments:
- 130
- Kudos:
- 3,389
- Bookmarks:
- 882
- Hits:
- 18,123
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Alvin the Teenage Limpet by Anonymous
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, White Collar (TV 2009)
05 Jul 2023
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Peter Burke was well aware that Neal Caffrey would never stop surprising him. He had learned that all the way back during his years of chasing the other man, and the idea had only been cemented in his head once Neal started working as his CI. However, given that he'd been working with him for a while now, Peter liked to think that he was well prepared for the next time Neal decided to do something that changed their perception of who Neal Caffrey was.
At least until he pulled up to June's one day to see Neal acting as if nothing was different.
As if Peter couldn’t see the whole entire second person clinging to Neal.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 14,304
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 72
- Kudos:
- 3,987
- Bookmarks:
- 781
- Hits:
- 25,399
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Moon Over Metropolis by lscar123
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Superman - All Media Types, Superboy (Comics), Young Justice (Comics), Red Robin (Comics)
16 Oct 2019
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There were two things Conner never expected to find after being dragged to a fundraising gala in Metropolis: Tim Drake, and a dead body falling from the sky.
He found both.
Series
- Part 1 of Between the Moon and Gotham City
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Hogwarts, to welcome you home by gedsparrowhawk (FaceChanger)
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
25 Sep 2016
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“You understand, Professor,” Harry began, after a moment, “that I don’t have my N.E.W.T.s. I never even finished seventh year. Between everything, I never had a chance the first time around, and then afterwards there didn’t seem to be much point. Hermione argued for it, of course, but I was so tired of Britain. So technically, I am completely unqualified for the position.”
“Quite a way to begin an interview, Mr. Potter,” McGonagall said, dryly.
Or, three years after the war, Harry Potter becomes Hogwarts' newest Defense Against the Dark Arts professor.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,146
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 756
- Kudos:
- 22,710
- Bookmarks:
- 6,767
- Hits:
- 245,295
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patchwork by ashenice for Twilight_Dreamer
Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
22 Sep 2021
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“Please tell me it’s possible to get motor oil out of clothing. That was my favourite shirt.”
“It’s probably never gonna be the same again.” Hatsume proclaimed cheerfully. “But you can get it out. Mostly.”
Izuku groaned.
(Izuku procrastinates getting his equipment fixed, tries to keep Mei’s plants alive and becomes a regular visitor of the Development Studio and Power Loader’s second headache.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,481
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 13
- Comments:
- 50
- Kudos:
- 1,701
- Bookmarks:
- 404
- Hits:
- 7,929
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