Well, he *did* fuck like, 70% of the female Russian court, including Zarina Alexandra, so he must have been doing something right lmfao I highly suspect that's the reason Prince Yusupov and his other circle members decided to murder him with the excuse of him having too much influence over Alexandra by way of insisting he could cure Zarevich Alexis's hemophilia, because (cis) male pride/jealousy knows no bounds and Rasputin was keeping all the ladies to himself plus sleeping with many of Yusupov's men's wives, so. Also if you haven't heard how Rasputin supposedly died, you have to, because it's hysterical. So Yusupov & co. invite him to dinner and he must either think himself immortal or really not be as cunning as we think because he went to the goddamn thing knowing full well about half of the men in court wanted to murder him. They put enough cyanide in his drink to kill an elephant -but an elephant, not Rasputin, apparently, because he calmly finishes his dinner and stands up to leave. Yusupov, incredulous and rageful, decides to stop waiting to see if the cyanide will eventually work, pulls out his pistol and shoots the damn monk straight through the chest. Said monk, instead of dropping dead like it would be polite, takes off running after being goddamn shot (apparently the bullet missed the heart by a couple centimeters), unfortunately leaving an easy-to-follow trail of blood on the snow (December in Russia, what do you expect). Yusupov and his men follow suit, firing blindly but hitting him a few times in the back, shoulders, and legs, but the goddamned creature keeps on running like he's fucking Sebastian Michaelis and bullet holes don't hinder him, until finally one of them manages by sheer luck to shoot his ankle through the robes and he falls on the ground, moment this they take to beat him with every blunt object within their reach and kick him as hard as they can, to then make a crack in the ice and dump him into the Neva river. But his body is found and a furious Alexandra demands an autopsy, only to find that the wretched man did not die from poisoning, shooting, exanguination, the beating or hypothermia. He had water in his lungs, which means the fucker stayed alive long enough to *drown* in the Neva.
Like every time I recall it I roll around laughing on the floor. It's like crockoaches surviving nuclear bombing. Want someone hard to kill? Screw a demon or a Reaper, try your luck with Rasputin LMFAO
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PrincexRaven Sat 23 Jun 2018 02:04PM UTC
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