I don't think I'll ever can say how much this fic means to me.
See, I was just getting into VIXX when the olympfics started posting and this friend sent it to me, because, wow surprise a VIXX (gen! perfect for a newbie!) fic on the first round! Plus of course, she read it and loved it. I had started to notice certain things about their dynamics that I liked a lot, but believe me when I say that I was really new into VIXX, so I didn't know whether I was reading too much into it or not. And the couple fics I had read didn't manage to capture what I was seeing. They were nice, and overall not bad, but I wasn't recognizing this other people I was starting to know.
And then I read your fic.
Wow doesn't cut it, not even a little bit.
Maybe it's the fact that it was very canon based, being impossible to know which additions were yours and which were just simply things that I didn't know (that it was Hyuk that suggested the vampires for On and On, for example). Some of those things are still a mystery to me. Maybe it was the tone, melancholic but not dramatic. A weariness that never leaves. And how despite all, it ends on a hopeful note. Maybe it was how "slice of life"-y the fic is, tiny snippets of moments, like photos that we're examining. Maybe it was how their portrayals were beyond their on camera behavior, not taking it at face value, but instead seeing (or trying to understand) the how and why's.
But most of all, I'm sure, is how it talked about something I was noticing already, about something that I was wondering if it was just my paranoid and biased-ness. And it managed to both confirm and comfort me. Because I was so sad in the middle of the fic. I didn't know what part was true and what not and I felt like I was just wanted to kidnap Hakyen and protect him and give him a big hug. And then the ending happened. I don't lie when I say that sometimes I just come and read the fic to re-read from the part when they all know what's going on with Hakyeon's back until the end. Because sometimes I need to read how they worry and care about him.
That's my favorite thing, after all. A fic where they all care about Hakyeon, and they care and they worry and they SHOW HIM and he's allowed to bask in it, no matter how much he wants to divert the attention. Because he's someone who wants, and has to try to make everyone happy. And as you say in the fic I think, something has to give. I am absolutely in love with the scene where they are all around Hakyeon's bed and he's injured and has to be let be taken care of (is that even said right?). How each and every one of them try to subtly say that to him, show it, and it's not until he's been told directly that they want to take care of him too, damnit that the idea even passes around his head.
(I was going to quote some favorite phrases but I realized that I would be quoting all that scene, from when they tumbling into his room, make up still on, worried because of the noise in his room, to when Ken is saying, asking him if he's going to come back. That's it. All of that. I'd print it and have it with me always so I could be able to feel comforted every time I wanted)
I sometimes think I want 20 fics about this, because I just want to read about people taking care of Hakyeon, but then I realize that it's probable that they wouldn't get close to this, because this is not just that. It's that but it's also Hakyeon's journey, it's something much bigger, and makes that last scene as precious as it is because it considers all the background.
And I'm starting to be in the no-characters danger zone so I'll stop now before I have to stop mid-sentence :P
You weren't kidding when you said you wanted to leave an essay :3 This is an explosion of feels and I accept it very gratefully ♥ You probably won't know how much it means to me, to hear that you liked it so much and that it was true to the characters, for you. But thanks so much for taking the time to tell me how much it impacted you (and it stuns me to think that you would come back to this fic over and over) :) I always wonder if I should have held back some of my Hakyeon feels, but I saw this as the first and last time I would ever deal with this issue to the level of detail here and I wanted to give him my best. And of course -- gen fic, all the gen fic :D I'm glad it meant so much to you as someone coming new to VIXX, and I'm especially glad that you shared a little part of the journey of Hakyeon with me through the fic.
Comment on you did well today, too
Silverdancer Fri 21 Aug 2015 09:07PM UTC
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slashedsilver Sun 23 Aug 2015 02:57AM UTC
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