<3<3<3 yeah yeah yeah!! “Jack has always seemed to me like the type of person who never really thought about his sexuality outside of his relationships with other people, and never really felt any sort of connection to that part of himself.” Oof this statement and all of Jack’s little introspections hit nicely! Personal anecdotes: so I found check please when Ngozi was in the midst of publishing the second half of year 3 and I was in the midst of my own half closeted first relationship. I’m from the south, I’ve got homophobic parents, the parallels really hit in terms of Bitty’s journey and especially the way his parents reacted to his coming out. But my relationship with my sexuality was never like Bitty’s relationship with his. This ficlet, Jack’s relationship with his own queerness, reminded me of my reaction to the legalization of same sex marriage. I can distinctly remember where I was when I found out, and I can tell you that no one mentioned it to me that day, but my feelings on the matter were sort of muted. Like I was happy in the abstract but I didn’t feel joy. And my first thought after finding out was something along the lines of: “oh, I can get married in Texas now I guess.” But my own queerness was new to me at the time; it was something I’d just come to terms with. I wasn’t in a relationship with anyone then. And being queer didn’t feel like something that I could own. It sometimes still doesn’t feel like something that I can own. Even though I know I’m not lying there’s always a part of me that feels sort of like I’m lying any time I come out. It’s hard to explain but you really nailed the experience with Jack here. I appreciate that a lot! I think it’s really excellent character work when someone’s writing can make you think about your own personal experiences and the way in which you interact with the world.
I love the way you talk about queerness feeling like something you can't own, because that definitely aligns with how I view Jack. Like the way he grew up never gave him an opportunity to come to terms with his queerness so there's a definite disconnect between the bisexual spokesperson he's suddenly expected to be and his own relationship with his sexuality. Thank you for taking the time to write this comment and share your story, this fic was pretty personal to me and it means a lot to know that it hits home for other people too!
Comment on summer, 2016
thefiveboxingwizards Wed 09 Jun 2021 11:47PM UTC
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unconventionalturtle Fri 11 Jun 2021 06:02PM UTC
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