This is going to be a long ass comment and I will apologize about it but like. I’m not sorry. You did this to me, and you shall live with the consequences of it.
This is the equivalent of a +160 pages novel so I WILL miss things but you know what? That’s futur-me’s and whoever is unlucky enough to be in my vicinity’s problem.
Let’s start with “The bed comes up only to his shoulder [...]” which is such a cute start because tiny Dick? Sign me right up. And it feels like a sorry after you told us Duke died. This beginning is already doing things to my brain.
I’m making a parenthesis around here to gush over your drawings. They give me and this fic so much life. God.
You know, the idea that go-getter Dick Grayson, who saw the authorities doing _nothing_ after his parents’ deaths and chooses to take justice in his own hands, who manhandled his _right_ to be around Batman as a partner, is now used to “make do, because that’s all he can do, really.” absolutely breaks my heart because it says so much about how his life turned out.
I Will Not Touch The Flashbacks. :)
“Bruce felt his heart warm over it, soft, as Dick usually wakes up with a grumpy little whine under all the comforters he’s burrowed into and slides out of bed, eyes closed with a hand clamped down on Bruce’s shirt like a vice.” Hello!!! I’m on the ground, as a puddle of goo.
Also the discussion Dick has with Bruce about kidnapping? That sent me out of this fucking world. And I know for a fact that Dick has 100% planned for Tim to look muddied, small and pathetic so he could manipulate the goo that we all know is Bruce “I have more children than I have sense” Wayne’s heart. And Alfred’s laughing, knowing full well this is a karmic consequence of Bruce being a little shit when he was younger? Strawberry on the cake, really.
“Though he’s not sure bragging about how his kid can recite crime scene evidence would be received as positively as Charlie Weather’s new soccer trophy.” Bruce. Bruce, no. You are going to get CPS on your ass so quick you won’t be able to say Batman. Also, don’t brag to Superman, the poor man doesn’t have any children, why are you so petty!
Dick “[bouncing] around like the world's happiest traffic light. It gives Bruce little heart attacks, but it makes all the villains around them even more concerned.” is such a funny image to have in my mind because like. The villains, at first, would be so confused. “Is that. Is that a kid? Can we. Are we- What should we d-” and then they get their shits rocked by Batman. And I love, _love_, this Dick that will destroy the timeline with no remorse because Batman may be strong enough to choose the world over the individu, but Dick is selfish and if his actions make sure that he wouldn’t lose as much as he did? Then that’s just his enemies’ bad luck.
Dick bites his ice cream? no. why.
Tim’s little “Another potential kidnap victim?” has me over the floor. Why is he so smart. Why is he so small. Did I ever tell anyone that Timothy Jackson Drake is my absolute favorite baby and I will kill for him? How you wrote Tim is the copy image of the Tim I have in my head and I could never thank you enough for it. He’s just so. Sneaky, a smol genius and he literally discovered the cave and who Batman and Robin are and never said anything? Like, just sneaking in the cave not to look around or anything but to call his brother to bed. We do not deserve Tim Drake. NOR DOES JANET DRAKE. She goes home, sees that her child is not in bed, and does _nothing_? Who sends their children to school at 4am? [Incoherent screaming].
JASON, MY BOY. He’s so determined. His steel core was made since he was a wee lil’ shit. Jason calls Bruce dad. You can bury me now because this is a hill I DIED ON. He’s so bright, so different from what a lifetime of kicks in the teeth would have made of him and I am a puddle of goo, once again. And he went to Bruce when he wanted reconfort??? You are putting me down in the goddamn GROUND.
And you wrote a Catherine Todd before she fell, before she losts herself and it is absolutely what she deserves. She needs to be remembered as a mother who loved and not as an addict made to serve a flashback purpose. And I honestly think that Bruce, had he not lived his life as it was, could have fallen for her in a very “her gentleness and yet spine of fucking steel is more than what I deserve” kind of way. But to have him fall in love with her and then for her to die would be not good enough to show all that Catherine Todd is, as you write her. Her death was devastating because you know what? I really hoped that she’d live. That it would be a fix-it all. And yet you remind us that Dick may fight against enemies, humans or aliens or monsters, but he cannot fight something that is not physical.
So I was thinking of writing a comment in chronological order and then I thought better of it. And by “thought better of it” I meant, I just saw how difficult it is gonna be so Imma do it as if I was ranting and now you have to suffer through it.
Bruce. Bruce, please. They are working on a case and your first instinct is “no work on the table at dinner time” REALLY. Who let this man have children? No wonder Alfred sometimes just. Gestures at the Batcave, while looking at Bruce in the eyes; “Alfred looks taken aback. Then he gestures to the cave that they’re standing in, decked out in crime fighting equipment and laboratory technology and a state of the art gym area and a garage that would make even the most dedicated weep.” I also love that we are early enough in the timeline that when Bruce sent the water to be tested, his brain went for “lead poisonning” rather than “magic bullshit”.
I had to take breaks, reading it. Not because it was too angsty, but because when I thought of the canon, I had to scream. A lil bit. And I only touched to like. Half your fic. But sadly, my ADHD is kicking in and now I need to share the rant I made my friend suffer through because of you.
Now, let’s talk about the fucked up world Dick came from. Because it had been hours since I’ve first read this, but I know it’s going to be my obsession for a while more.
I think about how this Nightwing will take over the JL, a much happier man that what fate would have had him - but he’s Dick Grayson, son of the Batman and he’s used to taking fate by the neck and _wreck it_. He would grow to be a better leader than his dad was, because he had support since the very beginning, because he didn’t start with a “me against the world” mindset that his mentor had. And Bruce would be so proud because it’s the hope of all parent to see their children surpasse them.
I think of Dick sitting alone in the manor, his siblings and dad out for something, and slowly sipping a drink to himself. Looking back at what he changed, at those people he lost because he may have won them all over again, but it doesn’t change the fact they _he lost them once already_, and asks out loud; “Are you proud of me?” and we all know they were, are and will always. And it breaks my heart that they all needed a second chance _at all_.
Then, I think over all those siblings that he hasn’t found yet.
What if he one day meets Stephanie? And he becomes friends with her, of course he does. But he knows that she isn’t really meant for him, that she’ll rock Tim’s world once again, as a friend, as a lover, as a sister, whichever way life will drag them, just like when Dick saw Barbara and she stole his breath again.
And he’ll see Duke in the streets, with his family, and he will come to him with a smile and a nice compliment. And he’ll drag this bewildered and confused young man to his little world and he won’t let go, and he’ll know that his siblings will absolutely enable him because Bruce has too many rooms in his manor and they need more family. And they'll be much happier because, with Duke, comes his whole family.
Could you imagine Alfred's end of life? He was a grieving man who lost his friends, with a grieving orphan forced upon him because, really, could he leave the boy to Gotham’s CPS in good conscience? Of course no. He probably thought that his whole family would be juste this sad boy, who grew into this stubborn man and who he fears he’d need to put in the ground before him. No parent should have to bury their child, but Alfred will do his duty to the Waynes until the end. And yet, look at him now! He has grandchildren, he will die around a big happy family, he will be remembered and mourned but he wouldn’t leave a single man, boy, really, alone behind him. He would die with a smile, I like to think. He will meet his friends, not with the fear to tell them he failed their son, but with stories about the heroes they became.
Now, on the other hand, do you know how much I hate the fact that, in this sad other futur, it was Dick who survived? Because it means that his life was a following of tragedies, beginning with his parents and it’s always family, isn’t it. The people he loves.
Could you imagine this? Raising his siblings and seeing them fall _before him_.
To see Jason grow despite his life, to make something of Robin that isn’t revenge or anger - because Dick knew what Robin stood for, back then. Because it _was_ a name his mother gave him, but it was also created by a boy who wanted a man dead. Jason always had that uncanny ability to take on a mantle, a name, and make it _his_, be it Robin or Red Hood, and then to make them mean something like security, and maybe hope - because despite all of his rage and his brutal ways, he always see who he can help rather than who he should kill.
To see Tim blooms into this strategist, this leader, from a small boy who was simply so eager to please. Tim, who sees Batman and Robin as the duties those titles had become and said “I _will_ be good enough until I’m not needed anymore” and he would never be _not needed_. Tim, who keeps going even if the world is crashing down for the people under his responsibility and who pushes and pushes until those around him want to become better just by looking at this small slip of a man fighting the gods.
And then Damian, Cass, Steph, Duke, who all rose to the challenge when they saw something wrong with the world. Some needed a bit of guidance, some needed a bit of restrain, but Dick knew they would all grow to be better than he will ever be because he cannot see the flaws of his family.
And then they died, one after another, and you know what people say about putting the dead on a pedestral so Dick probably thought “it should have been me”. That world would have a Dick Grayson who didn’t fall with his parents, _but wishes he did_.
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Namael Mon 23 May 2022 01:23PM UTC
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