Comment on Lovers Always Lose

  1. occasional_boy_reporter on Chapter 1 Sat 20 Jul 2024 06:10PM UTC

    Bwahahaha! Yes, I will sign and notarize the paper that says you're a cinnamon roll! I hope this fic gets all kinds of love because it's already SO GOOD! *chef's kiss*

    Your prose has wonderful twists and turns of phrase. You did an excellent job in your second language and I'm legitimately impressed with the number of different sentences types that you weave. It's engaging in a way that proves chronic readers and writers know flow and story better than just an average native speaker. You did amazing!

    Now for some specific bits.

    [against the beard-scruffed cheek that he raised in a half-grimace to roll onto his back and try to focus on the ceiling, the situation, his life. One thing at a time.]
    - This bit got me so good. The end of that phrase has such a tired and comedic punch. I've probably already absorbed this into my writing brain. You may see it again. Or hear me mutter it in real life. 🤣

    The tie!!! *snickers* A perfect little teaser to make us wonder exactly how the night went.

    Octopus bartender, my beloved! Welcome to a new universe!

    Angel doing hot, divorced Husk a solid. What a good guy. Haha! Can't wait to see how this twists and turns! I didnt even read the tags because I don't want to spoil a minute of it! 😌

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    1. Beachan on Chapter 1 Sat 20 Jul 2024 08:33PM UTC

      AWWWW You’re one of my hazbin besties, cara ♥️🥹 I take the cinnamon roll pin with proud! And you’re so kind, really ❤️

      Said to you, it is REALLY an honor 🥹 your words mean so much to me, especially cause in italian I wrote a lot of stories and fanfiction (tbh, the last fanfic I wrote it was during my uni, some years ago) and, you know, I’m an Italian teacher. But in english it’s the first time, so I was really nervous about this and knowing that for an english native speaker the story flows makes me SOOO HAPPY 🥹🩵 I did an happy dance to celebrate!
      It’s really a great compliment, grazie ♥️

      Oh, I’m so happy about the comedic punch! Use it at your pleasure, cara, I use it aaaaall the time - even irl! Like, every morning I wake up and have to go to work 🤣

      HEHE. *laughing in the shadows* you’ll see, you’ll see 😏

      Yayyyy ~ we love octopus bartender, they such a nice background character!

      Thank you again cara 😍 I’ll post the next chapter on thursday/friday!
      ♥️♥️♥️

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