Eternal Rest (and nails rake down your back)
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"Did you know that Hashirama's mother was 8 years older than our father?" Tobirama smiled, and suddenly Izuna drew back, swallowing tightly against the stare going right through his eyelids, into his eyes. The Senju Compound is a terrifying fortress of mysteries, and Uchiha Izuna was such a fool, such a fool to ever step across the boundary.
Tobirama whispered, red eyes furiously alight in their heat, "Do you see?"
Izuna sees, Izuna sees, however much he wishes he doesn't.
He sees the children reaching for Tobirama's cold fingers, he sees the children clawing at his back with their razor sharp nails, sees their undying hatred as their eyes blaze, and Izuna wishes so much so much he doesn't.Or
Horror mystery that relies on the fear of the unknown, very graphic survival horror, featuring a Tobirama that is far more frigid, a Hashirama fraying only slightly at the seams, Madara, Izuna and the entire Uchiha Clan being (comparatively) sane people for once. Hardcore (as much as I can manage) Survival Horror.
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"Hello, my fellow teammates."
Itachi slammed the ANBU dorm door open, shunshining out of the way from several projectiles from trigger happy ANBU, cheerfully (despite having no smile on his face, please) lifting the huge (dry and neat) bag of takeout like how Simba was lifted in the Lion King.
"I hope you are all ready to beg me for food because it is raining shit and piss out there." Itachi's eyes were sparkling, and Shisui was the first to throw himself at his mercy with a grin so wide it hurt to look at.
Kakashi sighed, moving to do the same because Itachi was an Uchiha Menace™ that can and will embarrass him in the next Clan Council Meeting.
Or
Itachi was Uchiha Itachi, who survived an attack by an unwilling transmigrator. Itachi consumed her surrendering soul, and she gave him everything she was, seeking death.
Because Itachi had a different outlook on life in general, the world flipped its shit. (The most, most important fact is that Itachi is a cryptid now.)
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