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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Ilya knows firsthand that the world isn’t comfortable. It’s loud, bright, demanding, a harsh place in direct opposition to everything he’s recently learned about autism.

    Is it so wrong that he wants Shane to feel safe here? To carve out a space where, even if only for a few hours, he doesn’t have to grin and bear anything? He can just be?

    Or: Ilya Rozanov has a lot of good ideas. Telling his fuck buddy that he should consider getting an autism diagnosis isn’t one of them.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,094
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1,276
    Kudos:
    20,748
    Bookmarks:
    4,254
    Hits:
    116,580

    21 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Ilya had never really let himself picture it before. Not for too long, anyway. Himself at twelve, standing in that doorway, seeing her lifeless body on the bed.

    He didn’t have any photographs of himself from that age, which made it easier to keep the memory at a distance. Just a fact. Something that happened to a version of himself he barely remembered being.

    Niko turning twelve closed that distance.

    Ilya is going through a depressive episode. Which is hitting differently now that his son is the same age he was when his mom died.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,259
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    310
    Kudos:
    3,224
    Bookmarks:
    296
    Hits:
    46,358

    19 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Shrugging one shoulder far more casually than he possibly feels, Ilya says, “I like both. Is secret, okay?”

    “Okay,” Hollander says, voice cracking.

    He doesn’t say anything else. The air’s so heavy around them that it feels like being in the middle of a scrum, the weight and heat of all those bodies pressing down on you. Danger always feels like hockey; it’s the most dangerous thing Ilya knows, except for this. Everything dangerous in his life involves men’s bodies and just how close he can get to them. Closer than he probably should.

    A year after mysteriously dropping out of the 2009 draft, Shane Hollander is signed by the Boston Raiders, right behind Ilya Rozanov. Having the two biggest stars in the league on the same line is great for Boston — but playing alongside their worst rival was never exactly in Shane or Ilya's plans. Especially not when staying away from each other starts to feel just as impossible as getting along.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    222,222
    Chapters:
    28/28
    Comments:
    17,764
    Kudos:
    46,408
    Bookmarks:
    17,998
    Hits:
    2,119,858

    13 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    In late 2014, celebrity photos start dropping. Ilya deletes his texts, his photos, a video he should never have taken. It isn't soon enough.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    66,960
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    2,282
    Kudos:
    14,915
    Bookmarks:
    4,918
    Hits:
    234,863

    10 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

    Summary

    This is my little playground where I smash HR characters together to make them communicate better. Sometimes, it even works.

    Fair warning: My definition of "dude" is very broad.

    Each work CAN technically be read as a standalone. But they're built on each other, so you might have more fun if you read them in order.

    Words:
    91,434
    Works:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    673

    02 Jun 2026

  6. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Ilya Rozanov does not come pre-installed with good communication or healthy coping skills. Is he going to seek out help on his own? Hell no! But when a family member kills himself, fellow Boston Raider and friend Cliff Marleau decides that Ilya is going to therapy come hell or high water. And Ilya... well, Ilya is just playing along to keep the peace. Right? He doesn't need therapy. But if it helps his friend be less worried, so be it.

    OR

    What if Ilya came into the tuna meltdown with slightly upgraded social skills and no one actually ran away before they had a conversation?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,232
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    1,185
    Kudos:
    8,788
    Bookmarks:
    2,416
    Hits:
    82,410

    27 May 2026

  7. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “I feel really good about this kid, I think he could be great on your wing, he just needs some help settling in. Someone to show him the ropes.”

    “Yes.”

    The line went silent for a moment. Ilya wasn’t really sure why his coach felt the need to run this by him.

    “Rozanov,” his coach said at last. “I want him to live with you.”

    Ilya blinked, then nearly shouted into the phone. “What?”

    * * *

    or, Ilya stays in Boston, gets a rookie, and tries to figure out how to make a secret long distance relationship work while there's a Russian teenager in his house

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    138,946
    Chapters:
    20/20
    Comments:
    5,807
    Kudos:
    16,198
    Bookmarks:
    5,374
    Hits:
    466,789

    17 May 2026

  8. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Shane Hollander lands his breakout role opposite Ilya Rozanov in a buzzy rivals-to-lovers adaptation. Their on-screen chemistry is electric & their off-screen “practice” is supposed to be no strings attached. When the show airs, the internet starts paying attention & all the lines start to blur.

    Or…what if Shane & Ilya were actors who met on the set of a TV show, have to deal with fame & semi-unhinged fandom, and are still idiots falling in love.

     ——————————————————

    “Can I ask you something?” Ilya said.
    Shane’s stomach flipped. “Okay.”
    Ilya hesitated, then said, “Have you ever been with a man?”

    “But,” Ilya added, studying him, “I know you, Shane Hollander.”
    “You do?”
    “You want it to be perfect,” Ilya said simply. “You want to be the best one in the room. Every time.”

    “For authenticity,” Shane said, clinging to the word.
    Ilya’s mouth curved. “Exactly,” he said. “If that helps.”
    ...
    “I’m not saying you need to,” Ilya added. Then the smirk slipped back in to place. “But if you ever decide you want to...I’m here and willing.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    98,430
    Chapters:
    17/17
    Comments:
    606
    Kudos:
    2,107
    Bookmarks:
    1,068
    Hits:
    80,423

    10 May 2026

  9. Public Bookmark *

    Summary

    A whump fanfiction series that is actually, secretly, a fix-it.

    Words:
    99,453
    Works:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    2,913

    08 May 2026

  10. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Shane spends his life trying and failing to be normal. Being different than others isolates him in ways he can't understand, until a late autism diagnosis finally gives him the vocabulary needed to explain himself and his experiences. At first, he's ashamed, but, with Ilya's help, he begins to see the aspects of himself that he spent years hating in a new, brighter light.

    OR

    4 times Shane is ashamed of his autistic traits and 1 time Ilya shows him that he doesn't have to be.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,655
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    80
    Kudos:
    2,478
    Bookmarks:
    303
    Hits:
    19,097

    28 Apr 2026

  11. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “I’m right here. And you are okay, and you are safe, and healthy, and you are at home, yes? It is quiet, and nobody is there, nobody is bothering you. And the world is full of stupid idiots, but you are not one of them. And I am here. When you need me, I am here.”

    ---------

    or: The whole world thinks Shane is gay because of some stupid internet rumors, and he doesn't even have to confirm it. He's losing control of his entire life and he needs somewhere to put what little he does have.

    Ilya has open hands.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    37,065
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1,416
    Kudos:
    30,603
    Bookmarks:
    10,188
    Hits:
    438,071

    26 Apr 2026

  12. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Shane cups her cheek in his hand, running his thumb over the plush of her bottom lip. She looks at him through her fawnish lashes. He roves his eyes over her body. Her shoulders and biceps, her abs… She's so strong, so…

    Incredible.

    "I've never done that before," he admits, "Not with... with a woman, at least."

    "Right, well," she rolls her eyes, "Would probably be better with a real man, yes?"

    He shakes his head, "No. It wouldn't have been the same at all."

    - - -

    or, Shane comes to terms with his sexuality only to get thrown right back into confusion by Rozanov.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,501
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    620
    Kudos:
    4,166
    Bookmarks:
    1,436
    Hits:
    51,649

    21 Apr 2026

  13. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Shane Hollander is a man who thrives on structure, routine, the solid ground of a ten-year plan. Ilya likes that about him, likes the embracing squeeze of having a life organized in tandem with Shane.

    No one would call Ilya a man who thrives on structure. But it’s there, if not in his DNA then in the patterns of his brain. A call-and-response of: they do this, I do that.

    When Ilya’s life is flayed open for the world to dissect, how will they push-and-pull their way back towards what was once a well-organized life?


    “I thought we could go through the schedules and figure out what days we’ll be in the same cities this season, or when either of us have a couple of days off in a row. Maybe make a shared calendar, so we c—”

    “A sex calendar? Your parents are arriving in thirty minutes, and you are proposing making a sex calendar?” Oh, this was delicious. He’d be able to eat out on this for years, if Shane was willing to give him that long.

    “It’s not a sex calendar! It’s just … when we might be able to see each other,” he finished, already sounding defeated.

    “And what are you planning on doing when we are seeing each other? Not fucking?”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    47,947
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Collections:
    15
    Comments:
    4,292
    Kudos:
    13,998
    Bookmarks:
    5,644
    Hits:
    256,676

    18 Apr 2026

  14. Public Bookmark *

    Words:
    56,429
    Works:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    104

    15 Apr 2026

  15. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Ilya had come to terms with the fact that Shane’s parents would never like him. He didn’t, however, know how to come to terms with the opposite.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,868
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    153
    Kudos:
    996
    Bookmarks:
    107
    Hits:
    13,523

    15 Apr 2026

  16. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “I’m sorry,” Shane chokes, closing his eyes. Rozanov draws his hand, pulling Shane’s with it, to his face and wipes his cheeks.

    “There is nothing to be sorry for, любовь моя, it is okay,” Rozanov murmurs, tugging at Shane’s hair again. Shane exhales, letting him clean his cheeks. “You got overwhelmed, yes? It happens.”

    “I can’t be fucking normal,” Shane says quietly, whining, head falling back, pressing into Rozanov’s hand.

    “No, if you were fucking normal, you would not be my Shane.”

    // shane is a liar, and he's tired of it all. his life falls apart, and he finds that he doesn't actually mind.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    33,474
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    931
    Kudos:
    10,820
    Bookmarks:
    3,600
    Hits:
    162,866

    15 Apr 2026

  17. This has been deleted, sorry!

    15 Apr 2026

  18. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Seven scandals in the life of Ilya Rozanov.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,244
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    515
    Kudos:
    4,039
    Bookmarks:
    896
    Hits:
    35,348

    13 Apr 2026

  19. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Ilya is a young man in America. Here he is in the off hours.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,683
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    292
    Kudos:
    3,374
    Bookmarks:
    1,002
    Hits:
    27,413

    13 Apr 2026

  20. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    When Shane was born an ocean away from her homeland, Yuna Hollander, who did not pray, whispered into the world: Let every door open for him, my son.

    OR: Yuna Hollander learns to appreciate Ilya Rozanov, one step at a time.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,235
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    6
    Comments:
    482
    Kudos:
    8,370
    Bookmarks:
    2,041
    Hits:
    56,041

    13 Apr 2026

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