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  1. Public Bookmark *

    Summary

    Exploring Montreal Metros Captain Shane Hollander and Boston Raiders Captain Ilya Rozanov who remain with their teams till retirement.

    These pieces have been written so they can be read in any order.

    Words:
    45,051
    Works:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    143

    08 Jul 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

    Words:
    10,228
    Works:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    1,686

    07 Jul 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

    Words:
    133,418
    Works:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    2,440

    02 Jul 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Farah, Shane, and his mom have a statement drafted by the end of the first period of the Boston v. Toronto game. By the time the Raiders are done showering and are pulled for post-game press, everyone with even a passing interest in professional hockey knows that Shane Hollander is an Unrestricted Free Agent looking for a new team.

    Shane watched live as Ilya blinked stupidly, took a few seconds to process, and then quickly answered into the mic. This interview would gain millions of views over the coming months and would be cited as the source of the most chaotic social media rollercoaster the MLH ever had.

    No one knew it then, but the Great MLH Seduction had officially begun.

    *****

    Or: Ilya stays with the Boston Raiders instead of trading to Ottawa. This causes quite a few ripples when Shane finally ends his contract with Montreal.

    Featuring: the Hollander Family's Spreadsheets(TM), professional hockey culture shifts, and a tasteful amount of fraud against the MLH.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,993
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    587
    Kudos:
    5,115
    Bookmarks:
    1,749
    Hits:
    61,745

    30 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

    Words:
    14,373
    Works:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    2,046

    29 Jun 2026

  6. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Shane let out a put-upon sigh and stepped into Dr. Terry's office, closing the door behind him. “So, I was really nauseous this morning. Threw up a little. And Ilya is making me come talk to you about it.”

    Terry quirked an eyebrow at him. “Husband Ilya or Captain Rozanov?”

    “Both.”

    “Oof.” Terry gestured at him to take a seat. “You sure you’re not dying, bud?"

    (formerly titled: at the top of the mohs scale)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    87,162
    Chapters:
    26/31
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    1,365
    Kudos:
    13,827
    Bookmarks:
    3,765
    Hits:
    552,586

    29 Jun 2026

  7. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    It’s strange. He went down hard, but nothing hurts. That might be very bad, if he can’t feel anything at all. But it’s not that. He can feel things, but they just don’t feel right. Maybe they already have him up on the stretcher, because he’s lying on something soft, not the cold ice he’d crumpled onto when he fell. He’s never felt a stretcher quite like this before, though.

    “Ilya!”

    There it is again. But now it’s louder. Almost unmistakably Shane.

    Blinking against sunlight, Ilya opens his eyes, and stares up at the brilliant blue sky.

    --

    After a bad hit during a game in 2016, Ilya wakes up at Shane Hollander's cottage in 2023. Finding out he has a dog, plays for Ottawa, and is married to Shane in quick succession, confronting the existence of time travel becomes the least of his worries.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,588
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    97
    Kudos:
    5,363
    Bookmarks:
    948
    Hits:
    46,039

    25 Jun 2026

  8. Public Bookmark *

    Words:
    82,013
    Works:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    2,005

    15 Jun 2026

  9. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Bood
    what have you given her before?

    Ilya
    A fucking, mostly

    Bood
    CHEAP
    CHEAP GIFT GIVER

    Ilya enlists Bood & the Ottawa WAGs to help brainstorm ideas for his first proper Valentine’s Day with ‘Jane’.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    41,287
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    2,085
    Kudos:
    24,576
    Bookmarks:
    4,860
    Hits:
    266,189

    15 Jun 2026

  10. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Daily posts on the Ottawa Centaurs social media.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    71,545
    Chapters:
    34/?
    Collections:
    12
    Comments:
    10,403
    Kudos:
    25,055
    Bookmarks:
    4,992
    Hits:
    714,517

    14 Jun 2026

  11. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “Am I too boring for you?”

    He doesn’t mean to ask. Doesn’t mean for those words to come out. They fall from his lips before he has a chance to stop them, and the second they’re out there he wants to take them back. He wants to swallow them down so they can’t hurt anyone but himself.

    Because Ilya…Ilya flinches.

    “What.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,127
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    8
    Comments:
    430
    Kudos:
    14,524
    Bookmarks:
    2,925
    Hits:
    141,123

    08 Jun 2026

  12. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    In late 2012 when Shane has a meltdown and frantically tells them to call Lily, for the first time Yuna’s ever witnessed, Shane is coaxed out of one of them instead of just suffering through until the exhaustion wins out instead—and all by some mysterious, apparently very well attuned to Shane, 'Lily'.

    She hadn’t meant to see the number before she’d pressed it and fumbled the phone up to Shane’s ear. It was simply a byproduct of the situation, something Shane had asked for her to do.

    …Memorizing it and then texting that number to thank Lily for their help was not something she’d been asked to do. But she worries so much about Shane, and Lily is a reassurance. Not a pry for details but the simple, verifiable confirmation: he’s okay.

    Lily, on the other hand, very much enjoys being able to make oddly specific 'your mother' jokes to Shane much more often now. (And maybe the whole family piece of it, too.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,298
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Collections:
    6
    Comments:
    668
    Kudos:
    11,484
    Bookmarks:
    1,875
    Hits:
    76,330

    07 Jun 2026

  13. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “I fucked up,” Hayden breathed into the speaker, causing Ilya’s brows to furrow. He could hear Hayden pacing. “Like. Fucked, man. Way up.”

    “Is surprise?” Ilya retorted. “Hayden Pike fucking up. I am thinking this could have been text and not call. Not sure if you were aware, but I am about to-”

    “I think Shane is high,” Hayden blurted out, and Ilya’s face dropped.

    -

    Or the one where Shane is accidentally high at Hayden’s house watching Ilya play hockey, which is nice until it isn’t.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,689
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    106
    Kudos:
    4,988
    Bookmarks:
    719
    Hits:
    29,777

    06 Jun 2026

  14. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    It’s not going viral because Jane’s true identity was exposed—or even because Ilya was blatantly sexting in public. That part’s as expected as Shane doing yoga or any human being on earth breathing.

    No, the texts are going viral because no one can believe how bad this “Jane” is at sexting.

    The women of the world are outraged. The men of the world are baffled. No one can understand why Ilya Rozanov, whose abs have their own fan club, is wasting his time on ‘a piece of cardboard that wished to be turned into a real girl’ (this particular joke has 300k likes and counting).

    Or: After a social media trend mocks Shane's sexting skills, he tries to improve them. It goes about as poorly as you'd expect.

    Now available in Russian

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,196
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1,605
    Kudos:
    53,111
    Bookmarks:
    10,880
    Hits:
    356,989

    03 Jun 2026

  15. Public Bookmark *

    Words:
    152,120
    Works:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    959

    02 Jun 2026

  16. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “Can’t hang out tonight, Hayd. I have plans.”

    “Bullshit,” Hayden responds. “You never have plans.”

    Objectively, this used to be true. Nowadays Shane has many, many plans, between his nightly plans to look at Ilya’s penis through Skype and his various long-term plans laid out helpfully in his notebook, Canva (For Ilya’s sake. He is a visual learner), and more recently, Excel. Shane loves that excel sheet. He’s colour coded it.

     

    In 2017, Shane Hollander spirals and proposes to his boyfriend of 4 days (or 7 years, or 9 years, or not his boyfriend at all, depending on how you look at it), which leads to a lot of plans, weird theories in the Montreal Voyageur locker room, some Twitter drama, and Ilya Rozanov entering his WAG era.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    118,812
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    5,264
    Kudos:
    29,933
    Bookmarks:
    10,593
    Hits:
    874,137

    02 Jun 2026

  17. Public Bookmark *

    Words:
    65,159
    Works:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    1,316

    02 Jun 2026

  18. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “Mm, not stuff his pockets with the drug everyone thinks makes you gay right before a press conference? Maybe!” Ilya’s voice chimed happily from the phone.

    “You wanna tell us why you’re so acquainted with Rush that you can identify it in 780p, Ilya?” Kip asked.

    “…I have so much leather to deodorize, Kip Grady. So many sports cars, you know.”

    --

    Kip can't believe no one else can tell how outrageously gay Ilya Rozanov is, but he's not complaining, he's happy to have someone else to talk to at all the hockey functions.

    Or: Perfect gaydar haver Ilya Rozanov finally gets a taste of his own medicine. A series of looks into Kip and Ilya's friendship, starting after the cottage.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,912
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    1,860
    Kudos:
    23,841
    Bookmarks:
    6,461
    Hits:
    174,437

    02 Jun 2026

  19. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Shane waits for Ilya’s arm to curl around his waist, for the familiar weight of his body to press in close and ground him again.

    Except it never comes.

    He was gone. Ilya left.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,381
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    52
    Kudos:
    5,004
    Bookmarks:
    807
    Hits:
    46,559

    28 May 2026

  20. Public Bookmark 2879

    Mystery Work

    Part of mid servetas
    Summary

    This is part of an ongoing challenge and will be revealed soon!

    28 May 2026

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