Bluemojo79
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The Fast & the Fluffiest, Or: UNLIKELY ANIMAL FRIENDS RETIRED RACING DOG AND ALPACA LOVE EACH OTHER REAL NOT CLICKBAIT by bizarrelittlemew, serpent_and_dahlia
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
14 Jul 2026
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Summary
“Stede,” Ed said slowly, and even to his own ears he sounded a bit faint, “why do you have a llama in the living room?”
Stede closed the front door behind him with a sigh. “Actually, Jeff’s an alpaca.”
Felt like that was sort of missing the point here, but sure. Ed would play ball. “Okay. Stede, why do you have an alpaca in your living room?”**
Other guys have their mid-life crisis, they buy an irresponsible sports car. But Edward Teach—formerly one of the greatest Formula 1 Drivers of all time, now Just Some Guy—already has a sports car. Actually, he has six.Ergo: Ed buys an irresponsible hobby farm instead. Weirdly, this does not fill the hole in his heart.
But his highly neurotic rescue dog and hot new vet boyfriend might...
If Stede would fucking call him back.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 26,685
- Chapters:
- 5/9
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 156
- Kudos:
- 81
- Bookmarks:
- 15
- Hits:
- 887
Bookmarked by Bluemojo79
07 Jul 2026
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Summary
Stede Bonnet has spent his life in the shadow of his own failures. Being born an omega, his marriage to a beta instead of an alpha, his failure as a father to his pups. The only thing he's ever had going for him is coming from a pure-blood family and all the duties that came with it. It wasn't until he met a wolf-dog, the infamous Blackbeard, that he came into his own and realized that there could be more to himself than the failure he'd been living as. But on the cusp of finally coming into his own, old ghosts reared their heads sending him fleeing from the love of his life.
Edward Teach knew from the moment he was old enough to speak that having a wolf from a mother had damned him in the eyes of the civilized world. He'd accepted that until he met a retriever who smiled at him and told him he wore fine things well. Who made him laugh and brought light into his life. But the light went out and the old rage burned.
A rage that Ned Low was happy to take advantage of as Ed finds himself in the grip of the English, controlled by a madman and stripped, piece by piece, of his memories and sanity. All he remembers is once the sun had shown on him, but the sun's gone out, leaving only shadows and darkness.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 20,498
- Chapters:
- 2/?
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 12
- Kudos:
- 19
- Bookmarks:
- 9
- Hits:
- 347
Bookmarked by Bluemojo79
04 Jul 2026
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Summary
Edward Teach grew up in a house where weakness was punished, where safety didn't exist and trust was broken from the time he understood the monster his father was. He'd risen above it, grown stronger, found his footing as an adult, but the scars of the past remained as his own body rebelled against him. He doesn't go into heat. He doesn't show his tail and ears. He doesn't trust easily or deeply. And he's always been okay with that, never had an issue with his life...until he met Stede Bonnet.
The alpha swans into Ed's life by mistake after a failed attempt to humiliate him by a pair of assholes and Ed finds himself caught up in a whirlpool with an alpha that gleefully presents his ears and tail over a good cup of tea or a fine fabric. Who seems to love Ed even with his prickly distrust and broken pieces.
The problem is... Ed is pretty sure he's too fucking broken for someone like Stede, and he has no idea what to do with the instincts that begin to awaken.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 19,176
- Chapters:
- 3/6
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 65
- Kudos:
- 68
- Bookmarks:
- 16
- Hits:
- 591
Bookmarked by Bluemojo79
01 Jul 2026
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Summary
The day of Prince Stede Bonnet’s wedding dawned dim and dreary. Much like his heart, he supposed, knowing that it had finally lost its chance at true love.
The next day of Prince Stede Bonnet's wedding was quite the same. Only he didn't remember the day before, because it was still his wedding day. And although he didn't know it, tomorrow would also be his wedding day.
~*~
Or, an arranged marriage time loop fic.
Series
- Part 13 of Smutty Gentlebeard not-quite-one shots
Bookmarked by Bluemojo79
05 Jun 2026
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Forgotten by What_Accountants_Do
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV), Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
26 Apr 2026
Tags
Summary
When Stede Bonnet returns to town after suddenly leaving, his first priority is to find Ed Teach and apologize to him. When he finds him at his bar and seemingly in a relationship with someone he didn't expect, he is hurt and confused.
Life is going pretty well for Edward Teach. His longtime on-again off-again fuck buddy finally told him that he wanted to be exclusive. Izzy is off his back. The bar is thriving. Until one day a very strange man wandered into his bar, and now he can't get him out of his head.
What is happening? Will Ed and Stede find their way into each other's arms again?
Bookmarked by Bluemojo79
04 May 2026