Captain_Cosette



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    When the Strawhat's new snails decide to get frisky, it's Sanji's snail who ends up impregnated by Zoro's snail.

    When Robin suggests this is because the snails picked up on Sanji and Zoro's subconscious desire to bang, Sanji falls into a comedic spiral of angst and self-doubt. Because he can't hook up with anyone unless he's half in love with them, and there's no way Zoro would ever care about him more than just a hookup, and he's not going to put himself through all of that.

    Meanwhile, Zoro knows the cook is a hysterical moron. Maybe it's time he does something about that.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,483
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    89
    Kudos:
    2,009
    Bookmarks:
    392
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    15 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Zoro has a problem with being too intense in love, but he always cuts things off before they can interfere with his future.
    So he tells the cook he's got a crush on him and expects it to end right there.
    It doesn't.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,624
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    123
    Kudos:
    1,852
    Bookmarks:
    381
    Hits:
    19,400

    12 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Zoro didn't mean to kill the drunk guy who climbed through his window at 3 AM, honest. Deciding to dispose of the body, however, was definitely on purpose.
    Turns out the bastard was his new neighbor, and very much still alive. Talk about first impressions.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,564
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    283
    Kudos:
    2,062
    Bookmarks:
    460
    Hits:
    24,135

    12 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Zoro gets sunburned. Sanji discovers that he enjoys it a little too much.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,721
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    69
    Kudos:
    925
    Bookmarks:
    168
    Hits:
    9,035

    10 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    “I don’t need to compare,” Sanji says hotly. “I already know mine’s bigger. It would be a waste of time.”

    This is so obviously the reaction Zoro is looking for that it’s no surprise when he says, “Sounds to me like you’re scared, shit cook.”

    “Like hell I am!” Sanji retorts, helpless to resist the heady rush of a challenge from Roronoa Zoro. Even when it’s one so orchestrated.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,292
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    42
    Kudos:
    804
    Bookmarks:
    140
    Hits:
    5,875

    10 Jun 2026