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can i offer you a little salt for that wound by ShanaStoryteller
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Witcher (TV)
31 Jul 2020
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Summary
Two months after Geralt breaks up with him, Jaskier runs into Yennefer at Coachella.
“Oh fuck no,” she says, which he thinks is pretty fucking unfair, all things considered.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 14,597
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 215
- Kudos:
- 5,241
- Bookmarks:
- 1,223
- Hits:
- 38,247
Bookmarked by ChiefCooknLibrarian
05 Jul 2026
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It's Not the Size of the Sword, it's How You Swing It by Prudabaga
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Witcher (TV)
04 Apr 2020
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Summary
“Huh. I thought you would be bigger.”
Geralt paused, halfway through lowering himself into his bath, and stared at Jaskier. “What?”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,073
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 377
- Kudos:
- 4,901
- Bookmarks:
- 643
- Hits:
- 37,925
Bookmarked by ChiefCooknLibrarian
05 Jul 2026
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Summary
“I wanted a point of comparison,” she said. “Because he looks at me like he really – loves me, or something.”
“Yeah,” said Jaskier, resigned. “He does that sometimes. Isn’t it a bitch?”
They were half way through the second bottle by now, and their shoulders were touching. She could feel the hard line of Jaskier’s thigh against hers. She was very aware of the chest hair visible at the open neck of his shirt, and how he could probably see down her dress from here. She hadn’t moved to put any distance between them and neither had he.
“Why are we still talking about him? I don’t care about Geralt of Rivia any more,” lied Yennefer.
“Nor do I,” Jaskier lied back.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 17,922
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 284
- Kudos:
- 5,703
- Bookmarks:
- 1,548
- Hits:
- 50,665
Bookmarked by ChiefCooknLibrarian
05 Jul 2026
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The Tale of Jaskier's Grudge Against Historians (and how they gave him his happy ending anyway) by notebooksandlaptops
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Witcher (TV)
07 May 2020
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Summary
[Text Sent From Ciri] Is there a reason why a love letter to Yen and Geralt is in the British Museum signed from you?? -C
[Text Sent to Ciri] Because Historians are nosey pricks. Do NOT tell your parents. -J
[Text Sent From Ciri] ;) – C
The winking face of a semicolon and a bracket stared up at him, composed of unforgiving pixels. She wouldn’t, would she? No. No. She couldn’t. She wouldn’t.
She wouldn’t.
-///-
Or, an exploration of the reason (immortal) Jaskier hates historians (hint: it's because they keep stealing his shit and putting it on display)
Bookmarked by ChiefCooknLibrarian
05 Jul 2026
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Summary
Shandry's Third @shaneybaby
uhhh so im on r/shanehollander rn and some guy is claiming to have cloned shane’s dad’s phone and uploaded it to the internet?? has anyone else clicked on this link will it give me a virus if i do
7:03 P.M. | 12 Jan 2018 | 135.1k retweets | 232.1k likes
Shandry's Third @shaneybaby
okay I googled his dad and he’s a 52 year old forensic accountant who thinks fashion peaked with ralph lauren polo shirts. am I enough of a hollander simp to risk my laptop just to look through the phone of his dad who acts like sandals and bermuda shorts are a risqué choice. yes.
7:04 P.M. | 12 Jan 2018 | 137.1k retweets | 235.9k likes
Shandry's Third @shaneybaby
oh my god his password for everything is ShaneHollander24. pov you love your son so much that it compromises your bank account
7:04 P.M. | 12 Jan 2018 | 143.7k retweets | 250.7k likes
Shandry's Third @shaneybaby
HOLY FUCK
7:19 P.M. | 12 Jan 2018 | 337.1k retweets | 413.3k likes
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 71,911
- Chapters:
- 7/?
- Comments:
- 4,799
- Kudos:
- 19,608
- Bookmarks:
- 7,090
- Hits:
- 420,440
Bookmarked by ChiefCooknLibrarian
01 Jul 2026
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faded on the fine lines by impetuous
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
19 Jun 2026
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Summary
If Ilya Rozanov was set to be branded for life in the space above his butt crack, he was damn well going to pay a premium for it.
Booking with one of the most exclusive tattoo studios in North America was the easy bit.
Having his brain melted into oblivion by Shane Hollander’s steady hands and even steadier voice was decidedly not part of the plan.
Or, the one where tattoo artist Shane is very good at giving instructions.
Series
- Part 1 of HB Ink
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 17,778
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 961
- Kudos:
- 11,929
- Bookmarks:
- 3,326
- Hits:
- 96,320
Bookmarked by ChiefCooknLibrarian
01 Jul 2026
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Summary
“Should call you the Ottawa Puppies,” says the Toronto centre, Svensson. As an insult it makes no sense, so Ilya ignores it, until he continues, “Hear Hollander keeps you on a short leash.”
Ilya is the captain, so if anything, he should be holding the leash. In English, you can be singular or plural, but he knows what Svensson is trying to say. He is saying Ilya Rozanov, you are Hollander’s bitch.
“Only sometimes,” Ilya replies, grinning. He wins the face off.
OR: Ilya trains himself to be a very, very good guard dog for Shane.
Series
- Part 1 of Dog
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,424
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 16
- Comments:
- 957
- Kudos:
- 32,387
- Bookmarks:
- 5,912
- Hits:
- 273,228
Bookmarked by ChiefCooknLibrarian
01 Jul 2026
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Summary
Rose volunteers for a nonprofit that rescues sex-trafficked omegas, and Shane thinks it's a great cause. He even attends their fundraising galas.
Then, one night, Rose calls to ask for a favor: She wants Shane to let a recently-rescued male omega live with him. In his apartment.
His name is Ilya, Rose explains, and the thing is, despite omega hormone levels, he acts and smells just like an alpha. He can't keep staying in an omega group home because he's scaring the other omegas and endangering the staff.
But he could live with Shane, Rose insists. "You're a big strong alpha hockey player, so he can't intimidate you physically. But also he needs to feel safe, which he can with you, because you're not like other alphas." She pauses. "You know?"
By which she means Shane has never had a full rut, his scent glands barely work, he can't form a knot, and he has no interest in sticking his dick in anyone. Which, whatever. It's fine.
But if being a failure as an alpha means he can help this omega, Ilya, who's apparently as much of a biological anomaly as Shane is…
Shane says yes.
And maybe it's a stupid decision. But he knows that it's also the right one.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 94,928
- Chapters:
- 19/?
- Comments:
- 4,913
- Kudos:
- 10,087
- Bookmarks:
- 2,681
- Hits:
- 264,062
Bookmarked by ChiefCooknLibrarian
30 Jun 2026
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Summary
Every Boston Raider knows that although their captain has a girl in every port, he’s got a soft spot for the one in Montreal. Dr. Shane Hollander knows it’s better to have a semi-regular source of casual sex than try to make a relationship work during residency. Ilya Rozanov knows that the doctor he’s fucking in Montreal is unaware that he plays hockey, and in fact probably thinks he’s Bratva.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,465
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 2,526
- Kudos:
- 47,063
- Bookmarks:
- 13,943
- Hits:
- 392,062
Bookmarked by ChiefCooknLibrarian
30 Jun 2026
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@MLHTracker by summerblood for arenasoundsystem (cutflowersounds)
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
21 Dec 2025
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Summary
MLH Tracker @MLHTracker
rozanov81 (Ilya Rozanov) started following 3 and unfollowed 0:✅ montrealmetros (The Montreal Metros)
✅ shanehollanderofficial (Shane Hollander)
✅ metrosworst (Worst Metros Plays)
⏎ 55 ⟳ 39 ♡ 732rozanov defender @gremlinroz
... alright who told ilya about the mlh tracker
⏎ 0 ⟳ 10 ♡ 63lea @rozanovsss
getting ready for the game on thursday i see... masterful trolling
⏎ 5 ⟳ 1 ♡ 37The history of Hollanov, primarily as seen through the MLH Tracker on Twitter.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,816
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 1,204
- Kudos:
- 40,935
- Bookmarks:
- 6,695
- Hits:
- 205,586
Bookmarked by ChiefCooknLibrarian
30 Jun 2026
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The Ilya Rozanov Exposé by nineteenohtwo
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
05 Dec 2025
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Summary
Perez Hilton ✅ @PerezHilton
Viral: Married "gay" hockey star Ilya Rozanov caught IN PUBLIC sexting mystery woman. WITH RECEIPTS!
Series
- Part 3 of Hit Post
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,888
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 721
- Kudos:
- 40,386
- Bookmarks:
- 3,942
- Hits:
- 328,396
Bookmarked by ChiefCooknLibrarian
30 Jun 2026
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and i spit out the seeds by linearity
Fandoms: Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
30 Oct 2025
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Summary
A video of Shane sucking Ilya’s dick is leaked. Over the next twenty-four hours, Ilya goes on an odyssey.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 24,200
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 1,862
- Kudos:
- 62,200
- Bookmarks:
- 14,850
- Hits:
- 703,616
Bookmarked by ChiefCooknLibrarian
30 Jun 2026
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Summary
In late October, Ilya picks up some kind of freakish Canadian flu that dogs him into November.
It is the weirdest shit. He has to duck out of practice because his nose starts bleeding twice in one week and he wakes up in a hotel in Columbus with another one that leaves stains on the pillow. On the flight back to Ottawa, Hazy drops into the seat next to Ilya midflight and asks, "This isn't, like, a cocaine thing, right?"
Ilya laughs so hard it's probably a little rude.
They have a plan. Ilya's body has a different plan.
Series
- Part 1 of Malysh
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 83,790
- Chapters:
- 12/20
- Comments:
- 1,527
- Kudos:
- 3,480
- Bookmarks:
- 1,050
- Hits:
- 89,047
Bookmarked by ChiefCooknLibrarian
29 Jun 2026
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Summary
In late 2014, celebrity photos start dropping. Ilya deletes his texts, his photos, a video he should never have taken. It isn't soon enough.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 66,960
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 2,252
- Kudos:
- 14,130
- Bookmarks:
- 4,600
- Hits:
- 217,030
Bookmarked by ChiefCooknLibrarian
29 Jun 2026
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Bookmarked by ChiefCooknLibrarian
21 Feb 2026
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The Moon Prince's Consort by umbrafix
Fandoms: 薬屋のひとりごと | Kusuriya no Hitorigoto | The Apothecary Diaries (Anime), 薬屋のひとりごと - 日向夏 | Kusuriya no Hitorigoto | The Apothecary Diaries - Hyuuga Natsu, 薬屋のひとりごと | Kusuriya no Hitorigoto | The Apothecary Diaries (Manga)
08 Aug 2025
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Summary
“I don’t see why I have to go,” grumbles Maomao as Xiaolan dresses her.
“Of course you have to go! You are the consort of the Moon Prince, my lady!”
Maomao has still not met the emperor’s younger brother. She almost doubts his existence. There is a slight curiosity in her mind as to whether or not he will attend this garden party. Though, honestly, she much prefers him as a spectral figure than a flesh and blood one.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 38,855
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Comments:
- 560
- Kudos:
- 7,633
- Bookmarks:
- 2,037
- Hits:
- 78,605
Bookmarked by ChiefCooknLibrarian
15 Aug 2025
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Head of Gold, Heart in the Clouds by onthearrow
Fandoms: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild/Tears of the Kingdom
02 May 2025
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Summary
“Link! You’re hurt!”
“I’m fine, Sid—”
“In the mouth of a demon dragon? Absolutely not, you were nearly crunched!” Sidon whirls around. “Quickly! Does somebody have a healing elixir for His Majesty?”
His Majesty.
His Majesty.
And that’s when Zelda realizes—it’s not her Sidon and the Royal Guard are addressing.
It’s Link.
___
Six months after the Upheaval, a weakened and dismayed Link appears in Zora's Domain.
With no sign of Zelda, Impa follows the wish of Hyrule's previous sovereign, and names him king.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 193,531
- Chapters:
- 24/24
- Comments:
- 1,245
- Kudos:
- 2,652
- Bookmarks:
- 788
- Hits:
- 115,549
Bookmarked by ChiefCooknLibrarian
12 Oct 2024
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Summary
Jungkook wasn’t always like this. Or maybe he was and you don’t want to admit that he had you fooled. You quickly discover he has a lot more to offer than exchanging pleasantries and awkward small talk. In fact, he never seems to shut up.
For the better part of a year, he’s held your irritation hostage, never passing up an opportunity to deliver savage one-liners at your expense. When he discovers you’re on Tinder, he turns up the brattiness factor and intentionally seeks you out. Who knows? Maybe if you gave him a chance he could charm the pants right off of you. Then again, maybe he’s just a fuckboy.
Series
- Part 2 of Activate Your Simcard
Bookmarked by ChiefCooknLibrarian
01 Mar 2024
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Summary
After years of Spirit wreaking havoc on her love life, Maka invents a pretend boyfriend just to give herself a break from his meddling. When Spirit offers her a large sum of money to go to couple's counseling, hoping it will break the two of them up, Maka suddenly finds herself in need of a real fake boyfriend. She posts a Craigslist ad seeking someone to play the role, offering compensation to sweeten the deal. Enter Soul Evans, a strapped-for-cash bartender who happens to be the perfect prototype for everything her dad hates in men.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 102,693
- Chapters:
- 16/16
- Comments:
- 890
- Kudos:
- 1,513
- Bookmarks:
- 374
- Hits:
- 33,210
Bookmarked by ChiefCooknLibrarian
29 Mar 2022
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Lemon Cakes and Ginger Snakes by RedWolf (redwolf17)
Fandoms: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
12 Oct 2021
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Summary
When Sansa gets a call from the Great Westerosi Bake Off, she's not sure whether to thank Arya or kill her. Against her better judgment, Sansa signs up and is chosen to compete. Baking in the tent is stressful enough, but Sansa can't help but notice the baker from Dorne with the Red Viper tattoo...
On hiatus- not abandoned!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 53,924
- Chapters:
- 22/?
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 507
- Kudos:
- 620
- Bookmarks:
- 204
- Hits:
- 16,629
Bookmarked by ChiefCooknLibrarian
15 Feb 2022