Chillinmetaphorically
Fandoms
Recent works
-
Journalistic Integrity by Chillinmetaphorically
Fandoms: The Black Tapes Podcast, Tanis (Podcast)
30 Nov 2018
Tags
Summary
Nic is having trouble casting his new show, Alex uses her favorite romance novel to con her way into her subject’s heart and get the perfect story, and Strand feels like a Real Housewife of the Pacific Northwest
-
Harry Potter and the Rules Against Perpetuities by Chillinmetaphorically
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
21 Nov 2018
Tags
Summary
“You see,” explained Hermione, “Often times people try to control future generations by delaying the vesting of property, but they often have poor foresight and property can be more valuable another way. Because of this, there’s a Rule Against Perpetuities.”
“What in the name of Merlin is a perpetuity?” Malfoy sneered.
Harry and Hermione start a law firm and teach their new client Draco Malfoy a little bit about trusts and estates
Recent bookmarks
-
Tags
Summary
Eddie is working hard on figuring himself out, getting a life, and also reestablishing contact with Buck after worrying about them drifting apart and their friendship changing. Realizing that sometimes people misunderstand his relationship with Buck should not be the shock it is. Also, if Chris could stop launching verbal sneak attacks on him, he'd appreciate it.
Meanwhile, Buck's learning to parent a toddler while not at all being insecure about something said by one Margaret Buckley. He's just studiously avoiding the word 'Parent' like the plague, and otherwise doing his damn best.
or
If Buck had a nickel for every time someone left him their kid in their will without his knowledge—well, he’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it’s happened twice now.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 201,902
- Chapters:
- 20/20
- Comments:
- 225
- Kudos:
- 442
- Bookmarks:
- 150
- Hits:
- 14,429
Bookmarked by Chillinmetaphorically
03 Jul 2026
-
Tags
Summary
Captain Buckley, who is steady, who has his shit together, who definitely does not recognize his new probie because he spent a night eight years ago with his hands in that man's hair whispering things against his skin that would get him fired on the spot if anyone in this building ever found out.
"You must be Eddie Diaz." His hand goes out. Not shaking, by some miracle that deserves its own cathedral, its own patron saint, the patron saint of men who are dying inside and shaking hands about it. "Welcome to the 118. It’s nice to meet you, I’m Captain Buckley."
Eddie takes his hand. A firm grip, calloused in places Buck doesn't remember, but Buck's skin recognizes him anyway, every nerve, all at once.
"Captain." Eddie's voice is level, pleasant, perfectly neutral, and Buck would buy it completely if he couldn't see the tension bolted into Eddie's shoulders. "Thanks for having me." A beat. "You got a first name, Captain Buckley?"
"Evan. But most people just call me Buck."
"Buck," Eddie repeats, tasting it, dragging it out, and Buck's stomach drops through the floor. "Suits you."
Or,
Captain Buckley WILL NOT fuck his new probie, okay? At least, not again.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 111,737
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Comments:
- 264
- Kudos:
- 1,299
- Bookmarks:
- 347
- Hits:
- 27,150
Bookmarked by Chillinmetaphorically
26 Jun 2026
-
Tags
Summary
"You, uh, you ever heard of—of a prostate massage?" Buck asked. He had his hand resting on Eddie's shoulder now, with Eddie still holding onto his wrist.
Eddie huffed out a laugh best he could. "Don't tell me you learned that in, uh, in Peru." He said, trying to keep his voice light and joking as if it would dispell the tense air lighting up the room. As if it could hide the way he felt himself twitch in his briefs hearing Buck say prostate massage.
Buck smiled, not quite laughing as he replied. "No, that one is from other sources." He said. "Really good for stress relief, though. Tried and true."
Eddie shifted underneath Buck, feeling the stiff flagpole tucked away in his pants. He was leaking steadily now, the front of his underwear damp and sticking to him uncomfortably. He let go of Buck's wrist, bringing his hands up to sit underneath his head while he arched his back ever-so-slightly up towards Buck.
"If you think it'll help." He says, hoarse and much more sultry than he meant.
OR
the platonic prostate massage fic
Bookmarked by Chillinmetaphorically
09 Jun 2026
-
Tags
Summary
It was a shitshow, to say the least. Despite, what he’d told Bobby all those months ago, he did not have a handle on the problem. He had the opposite. He had zero handles, and he was too embarrassed to bring it up. It was definitely an issue, but it wasn’t too serious. And it didn’t affect anybody besides himself.
But it was definitely affecting him in a bad way. Hard day at work? Go have sex to feel better. Bobby yell at him for screwing up again? Find an old guy to tell him he’s good for something. See a happy family on a call and remember he hasn’t spoken to Maddie in seven years? Blackout so he doesn’t have to be reminded of that gaping wound.
It was really bad. Yeah. But like, privately bad. Secretly bad. Except for his roommates, who were starting to get pissed about him stumbling around drunk with his guests. So, he started to look for a new apartment in earnest.
And just when he was starting to think things were getting actually concerning, and pretty soon he wouldn’t even remember what the point of anything was, who walked into the fire station, looking perfect and attractive and ready to change Buck’s life?
Eddie fucking Diaz.
or: Buck's sex addiction taken seriously.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 120,442
- Chapters:
- 24/24
- Comments:
- 434
- Kudos:
- 615
- Bookmarks:
- 152
- Hits:
- 15,021
Bookmarked by Chillinmetaphorically
08 Jun 2026
-
Tags
Summary
Romance is a lot easier to write about than it is to put into practice, and Eddie is the world’s most ridiculous living example of that. He can practically hear the kind of jokes that Shannon would make about it, if he ever told her about the books but - he didn’t. And somehow, probably just because he didn’t start writing until after they weren’t living together anymore, she never found out.
There’s actually only a handful of people in the world who know that Eddie is a writer - and more specifically, that he’s E. Diaz, one of the bestselling romance authors on the market.
or - the one where everything in canon is the same, except eddie diaz is secretly a bestselling romance author, and nobody knows. Yet.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 26,184
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 308
- Kudos:
- 6,122
- Bookmarks:
- 1,671
- Hits:
- 52,349
Bookmarked by Chillinmetaphorically
29 May 2026