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“...forgive us for the presumption,” Edrehasivar said, tone slightly strangled in the way it always is when he doesn’t like what is coming out of his mouth. “But we thought, if we... that is, if we, er… attended... then you would not have to… no one would have to…" He sagged under our stares. “...stay behind,” he finished feebly.
We were at that moment visited by a terrible, inevitable vision of the Ethuverazhid Zhas cornered by our mother, and we confess we had to lean on the wall in a brief violation of Alchenar IX.I.VI. Even the edocharei seemed taken aback; even Cala. Edrehasivar looked horribly dismayed at this non-reaction, and immediately started to backtrack.
"We do not wish to inflict ourself," he said wretchedly. "It was only a— a thought…" He trailed off, but the pause persisted. In it, we reflected to ourself that while we had taken knives for this boy, and would willingly take plenty more, he had — indeed, has — a talent for making us want to scream in dismay.
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the alcethmeret's annual springnight gala goes... interestingly.
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Just What The Doctor Ordered by princesscas
Fandoms: とんがり帽子のアトリエ | Tongari Boushi no Atelier | Witch Hat Atelier (Manga), とんがり帽子のアトリエ | Tongari Boushi no Atelier | Witch Hat Atelier (Anime)
14 May 2026
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Olruggio hasn’t been resting enough. Qifrey tries something new: poisoning him.
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“You said you needed a man, so I got you a man.”
Thorin eyed the folder again and inquired carefully, “What do you mean, exactly?”
“You need someone who'll play along convincingly. Someone who knows what he's doing. A professional.”
Thorin blinked. “A professional.”
Balin nodded solemnly.
“You can't be serious. An escort? Balin.” An image of a well groomed, muscular man with slick hair making suggestive comments in a darkened restaurant came to his mind, and Thorin shuddered. What has his life come to?Thorin is in trouble. A simple lie snowballs, and six months later he is expected to bring his mystery man to the family Christmas. Unfortunately for Thorin, the aforementioned man doesn’t exist. Fortunately for Thorin, Balin has an idea. Enter Bilbo Baggins, illustrator, writer and occasional professional boyfriend. As the two men get to know each other and set up a ruse to save Thorin’s dignity, things get a little… complicated. As the past is drudged up, both Bilbo and Thorin reconsider their present and wonder about their future. A Christmas story about love, fear, family and coming to terms with the fact that sometimes it might just be worth it to give it another chance.
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A misunderstanding at the gym leads to Bilbo being rescued from an unpleasant interaction by her knight in shining armour (or rather pink leggings).
Series
- Part 1 of Fem Bagginshield
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Belle is stolen from Rumplestiltskin and made a wife.
When she escapes he makes her a widow.
Back at the Dark Castle there is a story to tell, tea to drink, and a door to close.
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so this is the dwarf by Insane_Lollypop
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
01 Nov 2025
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fellowship somehow get to Erebor and frodo does not like thorin (kinda?) thid I'd mostly frodo treating thorin the same way thorin treated bilbo
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Belle summons Rumplestiltskin for a deal -- her virginity in exchange for the end of the war and peace among her people. Rumple finds this distasteful and uncharacteristically attempts to argue her out of it, but he discovers that Belle seems to...want to stick to her original terms.
Complete multi-chapter one-shot.
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Bilbo has been living in Erebor for a while now, but he's surprised when he learns from Balin that he's caught the eye of a few of the mountain's dwarves.
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Baggins Boy by lefttesticalofbelisarius
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
14 Aug 2025
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What if it was King of Erebor Thorin Oakenshield’s patrol who found Frodo and Sam and not Faramir? What if Thorin’s stupid ass saw a hobbit with the name of Baggings with his obsession over his necklace but with his features and assumed the funniest?
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Rumplestiltskin names Belle as his price for keeping Avonlea free from Ogres. He just doesn't know that Belle is a Vampire.
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Chosen by the Blue Fairy to slay the last dragon, Belle defies her fate and strikes a deal with the beast, Rumplestiltskin. As they search for a way to break the enchantment, an unexpected bond begins to form, but magic is never without a price—and never quite straightforward.
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It happened, someone found out about Hob's immortality, and promptly entrapped him with a dark ritual. His only escape - following Matthew the raven into the realm of the Dreaming. There he meets the mysterious king and finds himself inexplicably drawn towards the powerful man.
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- Words:
- 6,120
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 12
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Murder, most personal by GraceBe
Fandoms: All Creatures Great and Small (TV 2020), Agatha Christie's Poirot (TV)
23 Apr 2025
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When Audrey Hall is arrested for murder a friend hires the greatest detective in the world to prove her innocence. What secrets will Hercule Poirot uncover as he investigates a brutal murder?
Rated M for mentions of abuse and murder.
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“What weapon do you prefer? Ax or sword?”
“Accidents”, was Bilbo’s bland reply. “Preferably about a month after the initial confrontation if they haven’t apologized yet. It helps allay suspicion.”
Tomatoes used to be considered both poisonous and an aphrodisiac. Idea- it is impossible to poison a hobbit with anything less than a morgul blade. Discuss the Company’s reaction to watching Bilbo eat ‘poisonous’ things. Extra credit if dwarves actually believe salad will kill them.
Series
- Part 1 of Accidents are the Best Weapon
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Blessed Nuptials by DrakeShadeDShadowheart
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
01 Feb 2025
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Planning and preparing a mixed culture wedding is hard. Doing it without offending his people is harder. Thorin tries to navigate wedding planning while keeping Bilbo safe from dwarrows who do not wish to see a hobbit as a consort, and from a disapproving Gandalf.
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January - The Blacksmith and the Landlord by DrakeShadeDShadowheart
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
18 Jan 2025
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Thorin's only brother, Frerin, is arranged to marry a halfling from the Shire to establish vital trade for food. As the overprotective brother he is, Thorin travels to the Shire to meet this halfling and ensure they are worthy of Frerin. However, falling in love with the halfling himself was never part of the plan.
Series
- Part 1 of Year of Bagginshield 2025
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Labamrazûkh'azghu by SunnyRose for amethystviolist
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types
21 Dec 2024
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As Erebor starts to receive its winter snows, the company seems interested in participating in this labamrazûkh'azghu. Bilbo assumed it was a type of snowball fight. He's about to find out, like most things the dwarves do, it's a little more intense than that.
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We could have it all ~ who said we couldn’t by HadrianPeverellBlack
Fandoms: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
19 Dec 2024
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Thorin hasn't been himself for a while. Bilbo gets his confirmation when he sees how Thorin reacts to the arrival of the survivors from Lake Town and how he goes back on his word and honour.
Series
- Part 7 of Fandom Free Bingo
- Part 1 of We could have it all ~ who said we couldn’t universe
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Of Kin and Courtships by amethystviolist, xkingevelynx (ebony_dove)
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types
15 Dec 2024
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In order to stay in Erebor, Bilbo must be adopted into a dwarven family, but not every dwarf is keen on that idea.
Oh, but not because they're xenophobic, quite the opposite: Everyone wants to claim their favorite hobbit burglar as their brother!
“One week,” Bifur grunted in Khuzdul.
“One week,” Dori agreed shortly.
They shook hands over the table as Bilbo tuned back into reality, and the hobbit frowned a little at the battle-ready postures on either side of the table.He should have known nothing with dwarves would ever be easy.