Kw03



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    “H-hey-!”

    The person squeaked as they fumbled with their phone.

    “Sorry, I’m really sorry! But I need you to pretend to be my girlfriend. My sister is bringing my ex with her in a surprise ambush and I really don’t have another choice,” Zuko explained quickly, eyes on his coffee. “I will pay you. Just, please go along with this?”

    “… I can’t,” the person said.

    “What?” The answer brought Zuko up short. In the face of money, most people never said no. Keyword being ‘most’. “Why not?”

    “Um…” the person wavered. “I’m a guy?”

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    02 Jun 2026

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    At first, Sokka dismisses it.

    He notices, they all do, that Katara feeds Zuko less. A lot less. He notices that Zuko’s portions are often burnt and lacking any care, so even the little bit he does get is barely salvageable.

    Sokka notices, but he doesn’t care.

    (In which Fire Benders need to eat twice as much because they create their own fire. Based off Chapter 17 of "The One Where Zuko's Hair Matches Sokka's and Other Tales")

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    02 Jun 2026

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    Mid-Season-One Zuko is held for ransom by Chief Hakoda. Ozai's replies to the Water Tribe's demands are A+ Parenting. Hakoda is… deeply concerned, for this son that isn't his, and who might be safer among enemies than with his own father.

    Podfic and translations in Dutch, German, Hungarian, Russian, Spanish, and Ukrainian now available! See chapter one author notes for links.

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    28 May 2026

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    Prince Zuko saw presenting as an omega as the end of everything. Losing the war hadn't terrified him as much. Now it had been five years and he was finally being married off in exchange for an ally ship and as part of the peace treaty with the Southern Kingdom. They said the Southern prince was handsome, but Zuko had no expectations for his husband.

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    26 May 2026

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    “Cool,” he says. “You realize we’ve been looking for you for, like, two hours, right?”

    “Why?” Zuko asks, sounding confused, which is kind of sad.

    “Because the world is full of people who wanna kill you and you didn’t bother telling anyone where you were going?” Sokka says. “Obviously?”

    “Oh.” Zuko falls silent. Sokka glances moonwards in supplication. Yue save him from dumb, dumb firebenders.

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    26 May 2026