LeanMeanSaltineMachine
Fandoms
- Hermitcraft SMP (11)
- Critical Role: Exandria (Web Series) (10)
- RWBY (10)
- Vampires SMP (8)
- The Magnus Archives (Podcast) (5)
Recent works
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The Traveler and the Fae by LeanMeanSaltineMachine for Sparrow1M
Fandoms: Haunted Winter SMP
05 Apr 2026
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Summary
Once there was a man who passed into faery lands. The man had been in a hurry, though if you were to ask the man he would not be able to tell you why. The result is the same, regardless. A trespasser is never looked upon with fondness, humans even less so, and the faery demanded the man provide recompense.
The man, unfamiliar with fae laws, gave his name and was cursed to spend his days as a traveler, only able to settle in one place for 100 days or less.
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A Traveler is drawn back to the Winter Court after being cursed where he must fulfill four tasks and, perhaps, even slay a king.
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now listen to that heart rate by LeanMeanSaltineMachine for drygrasses
Fandoms: Vampires SMP
03 Apr 2026
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Summary
Legundo is peacefully studying in the library when Scott Goldsmith decides to drop-by. How wonderful.
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[podfic] your justly earned reprise by LeanMeanSaltineMachine for TheEnderWolf
Fandoms: Haunted Winter SMP
26 Mar 2026
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Summary
When Legundo Travels to a new world, he's quickly declared a god and assigned two assistants: Drift and Viking. Now Legundo must:
- Solve the issue of Krampus,
- Figure out what Drift and Viking want from him,
- Deal with the local wildlife.
Simple enough, right? …Right.
—
Legundo is called a god, The Traveler, and he's to be treated with all the respect and reverence as deserving of his station.
Legundo might just be sick to his stomach.
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[web weave/collage] sing of the moon by LeanMeanSaltineMachine for starshapedballoon
Fandoms: Hermitcraft SMP
26 Mar 2026
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Summary
Mumbo and Pearl go stargazing <3
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[podfic] butterflies by LeanMeanSaltineMachine for Vanyel
Fandoms: Hermitcraft SMP, Life Series | 3rd Life SMP Series
26 Mar 2026
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Summary
Tango breathes in, then out, then hides his face in the crook of Zedaph's neck. Violet eyes lazily blink open in response. “Sumthin’ wrong?” he asks, and Tango feels it when he speaks, his free hand splayed out against the other's chest. Tango frowns as he collects his thoughts.
”I think I have a crush,” he whispers.
It was such a simple sentence, and yet, Tango felt like he had just confessed his darkest secret.
Or; Tango is nervous about telling his partners about his feelings for his soulmate. They take it better than expected.
Recent series
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RWBY Fanfics by emo_space_gay, LeanMeanSaltineMachine, rivercollabs (theriveroflight), Stormage_dark_lord, sureashyr, UnsteadyShade
Fandom RWBY
09 Nov 2025
- Words:
- 2,233
- Works:
- 1
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coaxing the words from the earth and the dirt by LeanMeanSaltineMachine
Fandom Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types, Stardew Valley (Video Game)
14 Feb 2026
Summary
Cody knows there's something weird going on in Pelican Town, and he's determined to figure out what.
- Words:
- 1,229
- Works:
- 1
- Bookmarks:
- 3
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on the open roads by DuskDragon39, LeanMeanSaltineMachine
Fandom The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
02 Sep 2023
- Words:
- 20,155
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 1
-
- Words:
- 6,046
- Works:
- 3
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- Words:
- 4,345
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 5
Recent bookmarks
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Platonic cuddling by Likelightinglass
Fandom Project Hail Mary (2026), Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir
26 May 2026
- Words:
- 14,430
- Works:
- 6
- Bookmarks:
- 900
Bookmarked by LeanMeanSaltineMachine
15 Jun 2026
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it's lonely out in space by Likelightinglass
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir, Project Hail Mary (2026)
19 Mar 2026
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Summary
Grace is touch starved.
Rocky can fix.
Series
- Part 1 of Platonic cuddling
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,161
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 1,013
- Kudos:
- 11,341
- Bookmarks:
- 1,589
- Hits:
- 58,328
Bookmarked by LeanMeanSaltineMachine
15 Jun 2026
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Short Circuit (5+1 times) by Lex_To-Be-Kind-Takes-Work (Seth_Silver_Ink)
Fandoms: Iron Lung (2026), Project Hail Mary (2026)
16 May 2026
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Summary
“It’ll work better if you insulate that wire and connect it to the bolt of this gear,” Simon leans in closer as he speaks, pointing to what he’s talking about, his breath hitting the shell of Grace’s ear with each word. “It’ll keep it from short circuiting.” The ghost of contact never made makes Grace want to writhe in his seat, maybe even dare to reach o-
“Ri-” Grace’s voice cracks embarrassingly high before he clears his throat, “right, thank you so much, I will get right on that.”——
Or 5 times Grace short circuits plus one time that… He still short circuits.
So more accurately 5 times Simon unintentionally short circuits Grace, plus one time he intentionally short circuits Grace.Bookmarked by LeanMeanSaltineMachine
14 Jun 2026
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before you get any ideas by marya_blackbone
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir, Project Hail Mary (2026)
01 May 2026
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Summary
So anyway, we've just past the heliopause, and suddenly I'm feeling pretty warm because Ilyukhina has chosen this moment to set out certain expectations – or rather lack thereof.
Or
Both crews survive. Early on in the journey to Erid, Ilyukhina addresses the elephant in the spaceship.
Series
Bookmarked by LeanMeanSaltineMachine
14 Jun 2026
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playing favourites by marya_blackbone
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary (2026), Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir
18 Apr 2026
Tags
Summary
Both crews survive. It doesn't make Grace and Rocky any less important to each other.
Series
Bookmarked by LeanMeanSaltineMachine
14 Jun 2026