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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    The fight on Boxing Day 2020 end with Ilya asking Shane for a break and Shane walking out the door. Ilya never thought that will be the last time he saw Shane, for a very long time. During this time, everyone Shane loved struggle to cope with the grief, some better than others. Ilya stays in Ottawa and watches over Yuan and David Hollander, grieving their only son, and each in their own, do not survive it. Hayden searches for answers in the wreckage of his best friend's disappearance, turning over events in memory, unable to shake the feeling Shane told him something before he vanished.
    When Shane finally reappears, enduring the unthinkable, broken and barely recognizable, what comes next is harder than anyone anticipated.

    Or: AU after the Boxing Day fight in The Long Game. It's a story of grief, found family, a love that withstands hardship and passage of time, and the most unlikely friendship. Recovery is slow and costly and nonlinear, but that's what makes the happy ending hard won. Major Character Death warning are not for Shane or Ilya.

    Updates Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday.

    Language:
    English
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    83,720
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    23/33
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    1,060
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    08 Jul 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Sequel to Breathing Room

    Ilya Rozanov has spent five years holding Shane Hollander at arm’s length - not because he didn’t love him, but because he loved him too much to ask him to risk everything for something that could fall apart. He was good at that: the careful distance, the walls that looked like indifference, the way he’d learned to be close without being close. He’d had a lot of practice.

    What he didn’t have practice for was what came after he was done lying to himself. He didn’t have practice for this - for something warm and bright and absolutely terrifying. Something that fits in the spaces between games and cities and the distance between Boston and Raleigh. Something that makes Ilya think, for the first time in a long time, that maybe the risk is worth it.

    He just needs to figure out what to do with it all before their careers swallow them whole

    He doesn’t get the chance to think about it for very long.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    126,929
    Chapters:
    9/11
    Comments:
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    392
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    08 Jul 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane Hollander arrives in Vegas with a question he hasn’t spoken out loud.

    It isn’t complicated, exactly. It’s just the kind of question that requires honesty he isn’t sure he’s ready for - about what he and Ilya Rozanov have been doing for the past few years, about what six months of silence after Sochi actually meant, and about whether any of it is worth staying close to or whether he finally needs to go.

    He gets his answer in a locked bathroom at the NHL Awards.

    Ilya spends the summer convinced that Shane is fine. Upset? Yes. Angry? Definitely. But Shane always felt things fiercely despite what everyone said about him when he had his back turned. He’d calm down over the summer and then he’d be there like he always had been. He fills the silence with discipline and routine and the comfortable certainty that later is still available to him.

    He’s wrong.

    By the time Ilya understands what he actually lost, Shane is already gone; and Ilya is left trying to find a way back to someone who closed the door long before Ilya had ever thought to just walk through it.

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    77,974
    Chapters:
    11/11
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    178
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    1,040
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    08 Jul 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    "Hi Rozan... Ilya, It's Shane. But of course you know that. I... huh... I know you're busy and that things are probably... insane right now. I just wanted to check in, I guess. I know you won't listen to this, but I just... I keep thinking about you all the way there, alone. I wish... I wish I could be there with you. I... I miss you. (Shane exhales, then inhales deeply). Fuck. I do miss you. So much. I'll see you in two weeks, ok? Take care of yourself Ilya. Bye."

    Or,

    Shane pours his heart out on his voicemails to Ilya.
    It's too late when Ilya finally listens to them.

    Series
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    English
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    25,415
    Chapters:
    13/13
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    455
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    08 Jul 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya Rozanov has spent ten years circling Shane Hollander. Ten years of hotel rooms and secret phone calls. Ten years of pretending he doesn't feel it, doesn't need it, doesn't wake up reaching for someone who's already gone. Ten years convincing himself he's not good enough. That he's not worth it.

    Then a plane needs to make an emergency landing near Montreal, and Yuna Hollander is on it.

    So when Shane calls him from a bathroom floor, unable to breathe, Ilya stops pretending.

    After five hundred miles of frozen highway, three and a half hours of driving like a man possessed, a hospital waiting room full of people who have every reason to hate him, and a boy who looks at him like he's something worth keeping, Ilya may have learned a thing or two about what it means to be loved—and to let himself love freely.

    Language:
    English
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    104,414
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    998
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    08 Jul 2026