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  1. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    555-123-181
    If someone got bleach in their eye what should they do
    555-926-024
    Go the the ER and get an eye wash
    555-123-181
    Okay but is that really necessary or can I just wash it myself
    555-926-024
    According the the Internet you might need eye drops for a couple days after so ER it is
    555-123-181
    Urgh fiiine
    ***
    Ilya was looking for advice when he text the wrong number
    Shane couldnt leave a random stranger on read during an emergency

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,502
    Chapters:
    20/20
    Comments:
    911
    Kudos:
    8,836
    Bookmarks:
    1,499
    Hits:
    104,734

    26 Jun 2026

  2. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    Ilya Rozanov, captain of the Boston Raiders, has a boyfriend. A definitely real, suspiciously (and boringly) handsome, conveniently offline, consistently unable to meet up in real life boyfriend.

    Who lives in Canada.

    Unfortunately for him, absolutely no one believes him.

    The more serious Ilya gets about his Totally Real Canadian Boyfriend™️, the more concerned his teammates become that someone either needs to call MTV and get him on the next episode of Catfish or that he's slowly losing his mind.

    Shane Hollander is, fortunately, very real, very sarcastic, and increasingly delighted that an entire NHL locker room seems to think that he's a government psyop to distract Ilya from his game.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,633
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    441
    Kudos:
    6,713
    Bookmarks:
    1,135
    Hits:
    40,281

    24 Jun 2026

  3. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary


    Shane: Hello?
    Unknown Caller: Is this bird professor?
    Shane: …uh yes?
    Unknown Caller: Cool. Do humming birds have legs?
    Shane: What?
    Unknown Caller: Do humming birds—
    Shane: No, I heard you. Yes they have legs.
    Unknown Caller: [loud cheering in the background] I win! Thank you bird professor.
    Shane: …uh you're welcome?
    Unknown Caller: Goodbye.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,418
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    274
    Kudos:
    3,824
    Bookmarks:
    478
    Hits:
    14,276

    22 Jun 2026

  4. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    January 15, 2017
    For immediate release.
    (English version)

    The Montréal Metros are devastated to announce the unexpected and tragic passing of our beloved captain, Shane Hollander, at the age of 25.

    -

    or, a canon-divergent au in which shane and rose never met, in epistolary format.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,791
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    922
    Kudos:
    8,473
    Bookmarks:
    1,501
    Hits:
    67,582

    17 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    To go through or into (something) in a forceful or noticeable way.

    -Second definition of 'pierce' in The Britannica Dictionary

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,764
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    619
    Kudos:
    2,808
    Bookmarks:
    250
    Hits:
    24,235

    16 Jun 2026

  6. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    They're playing a game and Shane is going to win. Eventually. With some help. Maybe.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,673
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    779
    Kudos:
    5,788
    Bookmarks:
    565
    Hits:
    47,475

    16 Jun 2026

  7. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “You…wanted to see me?” He asks, barely resisting a wince at how awkwardly it comes out. “After yesterday-” He stops, swallows.

    Hollander makes a face–one of Ilya’s favorite faces, in fact–that says he’s a little embarrassed about what he’s about to say. Ilya feels his chest go a little tighter, wondering if Hollander has had time to reconsider, if he’d even planned to reach out after the game, apologize for spooking and running, ask to come ba-

    “Did something…happen yesterday?” Hollander asks.

    Ilya stares at him.

    (the accident that takes shane out for the season happens the day after the tuna meltdown) (...it also takes his memory of the tuna meltdown with it)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,217
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    433
    Kudos:
    6,699
    Bookmarks:
    1,393
    Hits:
    46,009

    06 Jun 2026

  8. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    “You are planning to rob me or what?” He hears Rozanov call, and he can’t help but smile slightly even as he rolls his eyes, closing the door to the linen closet and feeling strangely lighter than when he opened it, reassured that he’s just trying to read into a blank page, that today doesn’t mean anything more than Rozanov doesn’t mind him being around, which is strangely flattering.

    “I don’t know,” he calls back. “Don’t Russians like diamonds and fur and stuff? Where should I start looking if I want to know what my options are?”

    He hears Rozanov laugh, and it makes him smile.

    When he joins him in the living room once more, Rozanov tugs him down to lean against him again. Shane goes easier this time, settling into it, knowing it doesn’t mean anything other than the fact that he just happens to be the closest warm body, the person on Rozanov’s roster who filled today’s slot.

    (the tuna meltdown doesn't happen) (this does not mean they get ANY better at communication)

    (or: how shane didn't realize he had a boyfriend for several months)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,094
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1,186
    Kudos:
    19,318
    Bookmarks:
    5,540
    Hits:
    166,839

    06 Jun 2026

  9. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    He’s already in the room, shutting the door behind himself as quietly as he can before he realises that not only is there someone other than Shane in the room, but there are three someones other than Shane.

    And, as if he hasn’t already fucked up spectacularly, the someones happen to be the Hollanders and Hayden fucking Pike.

     

    // or; Ilya visits Shane in the hospital and meets his parents. He's traumatized and grieving, everything hurts, and Shane takes after his mother.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,398
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1,234
    Kudos:
    37,524
    Bookmarks:
    8,973
    Hits:
    267,255

    04 Jun 2026

  10. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Alternate Title: Shane Hollander: Stanley Cup Winner, Accidental Dog Sitter

    Shane: Is this Ilya Rozanov?
    Unknown number: no
    Shane: Oh, but the dog collar had this number.
    Unknown Number: What? What dog collar? What are you talking about?
    Shane: I'm Shane Hollander.
    Shane: I have your dog.
    Unknown Number: Is this ransom threat?
    Unknown Number: Did you kidnap my dog?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,626
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    697
    Kudos:
    19,768
    Bookmarks:
    3,042
    Hits:
    93,623

    03 Jun 2026

  11. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    Ilya died, yes, but then the doctors saved him. Cardiopulmonary resuscitation in the ambulance, three electric shocks, two emergency surgeries, twenty-six units of blood. Ilya died, but then he came back.

    If only Shane could get his subconscious to understand that.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,090
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    565
    Kudos:
    11,854
    Bookmarks:
    3,461
    Hits:
    117,474

    30 May 2026

  12. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    In the offseason, a steamy video of Shane and Ilya dancing at a club goes viral. Already out and married for years at this point, the first husbands of hockey can't believe this is news. For once, it's Shane whose media responses blow it up even further. Ilya’s not about to let an opportunity to compete with Shane go to waste.

    Or

    The rivalry still hasn't died, they just find new ways to keep it going. Why choose silence when you can choose violence?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    41,971
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    1,741
    Kudos:
    15,327
    Bookmarks:
    4,048
    Hits:
    301,997

    30 May 2026

  13. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    Rozanov made a dismissive noise. “No, no, I will pick you up. Send me your address.”

    “I’m not giving you my home address.”

    “Why not!”

    “Because you’ll probably post it on social media to psych me out before our next game.”

    That made Rozanov laugh. “It is good idea,” he said. Stopped laughing. Started again. Blew out a breath like he had to get himself together. “I might do this to you,” he allowed, “but you have nice boyfriend living with you now. I would not do this to him. You are safe.”

     

    In which Ilya Rozanov adopts himself into Scott and Kip's household and refuses to leave. Kip finds this very sweet. Scott is going to kill him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    32,878
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Comments:
    2,400
    Kudos:
    12,186
    Bookmarks:
    3,609
    Hits:
    115,860

    29 May 2026

  14. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    A canon-divergent take on the aftermath of the Montreal vs Ottawa game in The Long Game, where Shane trips, Ottawa scores, and Montreal’s golden boy suddenly looks like a liability.

    Luckily, Ottawa disagrees.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,351
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    779
    Bookmarks:
    157
    Hits:
    7,125

    26 May 2026

  15. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    Sometimes life came at you with a clenched fist and Ilya had never figured out how to duck.

    So here he was, twenty-eight years old, single, dealing with the fallout from injuries given to him by the game he loved, and the second youngest assistant coach in the league to one of the worst teams. Stability was hard to come by, but he was managing.

    Then along came Shane Hollander to knock him on his ass, one more time.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    102,971
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    7,368
    Kudos:
    25,652
    Bookmarks:
    11,123
    Hits:
    701,677

    25 May 2026

  16. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    Ilya is not going to steal Shane Hollander's dog. That would be illegal. And wrong. And someone would probably find out and make Ilya give him back.

    So. Not stealing.

    But there is nothing wrong with giving Chernysh all the pats and treats that he deserves, is there?

    Nothing wrong with encouraging Chernysh to spend more and more time at Ilya's house until he doesn't even remember who Hollander is.

    Because Hollander is stupid and boring and does not deserve a dog as good as Chernysh. No, he doesn't, does he? Because Chernysh is the best boy in the whole world, yes he is.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    68,349
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    3,127
    Kudos:
    12,060
    Bookmarks:
    4,649
    Hits:
    168,154

    22 May 2026

  17. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    @mensicehockey2k
    Hopefully Hollander and Rozanov make statements about this soon. Lots of young kids look up to these guys. Super disappointing if it’s true.
    11:58 AM ᐧ 18 Jan 2017 ᐧ 399K Views

    @starweavergia
    this is like the opposite of being told your parents are getting divorced #hollanovwedding
    11:12 AM ᐧ 18 Jan 2017 ᐧ 86K Views

    @rizzanov_official
    GOOD MORNING GIRLIES HOW ARE WE ALL FEELING TODAY #hollanovwedding #hollanovnation #hollanovontop
    11:09 AM ᐧ 18 Jan 2017 ᐧ 570K Views

    Shane and Ilya get drunk that night in Tampa and wake up married in Vegas.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,267
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    446
    Kudos:
    7,596
    Bookmarks:
    1,650
    Hits:
    65,982

    19 May 2026

  18. Rec *

    Words:
    3,074
    Works:
    1
    Bookmarks:
    565

    15 May 2026

  19. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    Ilya sits down carefully and takes Shane’s hand. “I am going to ask you something, and I want you to try not to freak out, okay? Take a breath, think about it.”
    That sounds… serious.
    “The Centaurs are having a barbeque,” Ilya says. “I would like to go, and I would like you to come with me.”

    Shane meets the Centaurs. As Ilya's close personal friend slash charity partner from Canada.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,188
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    763
    Kudos:
    20,277
    Bookmarks:
    4,327
    Hits:
    123,122

    12 May 2026

  20. Rec 55

    Tags
    Summary

    He'd watched the big dogs at the facility do this and understood in some wordless way that weight was the point, pressure was the point, the body saying I am here and I am not going anywhere

    But thirty pounds was what he had, so he used all of it.

    Troy's hands found his ears. His belly. The thick fur at the back of his neck.

    Chiron held still. It was so hard to do correctly, but he remained as still the best he could, like Hannah had been trying to teach him: weight distributed, head up, all of his attention on one person. 

    From across the desk he probably looked like a dog enjoying a cuddle.

    He was not enjoying a cuddle. He was working.

     

    Five times Chiron did his job in silence, and one time someone noticed

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,199
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    340
    Bookmarks:
    55
    Hits:
    1,791

    12 May 2026

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