LilyEclipse
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Harry Potter and the Stupid Fucking Triwizard Tournament by notatakenusername
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
02 Jul 2025
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Summary
“‘...issues an apology for what he has said and done.’” Snape finished, flicking the Daily Prophet shut and looking at Harry expectantly. Did he expect him to get upset?
“Borrrrringgg!” Harry blurted out, as Snape’s gaze fixated into a scowl.
“Boring, Potter? Boring? The most publicized newspaper berating you and talking about your pathetic love life is boring?” Snape sneered.
“Yeah, it kinda is,” Harry said as he fake yawned. “My love life isn't pathetic. I don’t even have a love life. Nor do you, and you probably won’t have one anytime soon if your ego continues to stay the same size as your nose.”
The Slytherins gaped at Harry, a few openly chuckling as Snape’s expression shifted into the constipation™ look. Ron abruptly laughed so hard he proceeded to accidentally knock over the bottle of stinksap onto Snape’s robes.
Harry finally burst out laughing. He really couldn’t help it this time.
Or,
The moment Harry James Potter hears his name come out of the stupid, obese, wine-glass doppelganger, (also known as the Goblet of Fire), he's done holding himself back. Cue the chaos that happens when he gives into his impulsive thoughts.
Series
- Part 1 of crack fics
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 40,143
- Chapters:
- 17/17
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 752
- Kudos:
- 4,112
- Bookmarks:
- 1,193
- Hits:
- 88,850
Bookmarked by LilyEclipse
31 May 2026
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Probably would've died, I reckon! by VanessaWolfie
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
21 Oct 2020
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Summary
Harry questions his view of Snape after finding out he hadn't been trying to kill him but protect him. He goes down to the dungeons to confront Snape about it.
Series
- Part 1 of Life, I reckon!
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Summary
No one thinks to check on Harry Potter after being placed at the Dursley house.
No one cares enough to make sure that Harry Potter is safe, loved, and cared for.
Now Hogwarts has a new ghost and Severus has taken on the responsibility to guide and care for the broken child since he failed in his duties and promises to Lily Potter to keep her son safe.*REVISED AND UPDATED JUNE 2024*
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Summary
After Harry blows up Aunt Marge, Dumbledore decides it's not safe for Harry to spend the rest of the summer at the Leaky Cauldron, and instead sends him to stay at Spinner’s End with Professor Snape.
It's tense, awkward, and teeming with misunderstandings...but it might be the best thing that's happened to either of them. They're both been without a family for a very long time.
Series
- Part 1 of Bruised Words
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Summary
Harry’s occlumency reveals his disturbing home life which sets off a chain reaction that cannot be undone. Snape finds himself begrudgingly caring about the bespectacled boy, Harry discovers what it's like to have adults who care, and Hermione finds herself becoming an accidental crime lord. Draco Malfoy is very much along for the ride, in all senses of the word.
A ridiculous blend of hilarity and tragedy, Another Mind Game is the multi-faceted fanfiction you didn't know you wanted but will absolutely adore.
Featuring a sassy Harry Potter, good friends, and a great deal of sarcasm.
There are also ridiculous endnotes if you make it far enough. (You can do it!)