Misery31



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    “Can’t hang out tonight, Hayd. I have plans.”

    “Bullshit,” Hayden responds. “You never have plans.”

    Objectively, this used to be true. Nowadays Shane has many, many plans, between his nightly plans to look at Ilya’s penis through Skype and his various long-term plans laid out helpfully in his notebook, Canva (For Ilya’s sake. He is a visual learner), and more recently, Excel. Shane loves that excel sheet. He’s colour coded it.

     

    In 2017, Shane Hollander spirals and proposes to his boyfriend of 4 days (or 7 years, or 9 years, or not his boyfriend at all, depending on how you look at it), which leads to a lot of plans, weird theories in the Montreal Voyageur locker room, some Twitter drama, and Ilya Rozanov entering his WAG era.

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    118,812
    Chapters:
    8/8
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    12 Jul 2026

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    “Shane?” Ilya asks again. “What happened?” His gloveless hand twitches and he lifts it a fraction of an inch towards Shane.

    Shane tosses his own gloves to the ice and reaches forward, lacing their fingers together. “You took a bad hit,” he says, gritting his teeth against the fear clawing at his guts. “Flipped headfirst into the ice. Are you okay?”

    Ilya groans in answer and squeezes his hand, though Shane can't tell if he meant to do that or not.

    Suddenly, there are people all around them. Shane shifts protectively close before he realizes it’s the medical team.

    “Hollander, get back to your bench,” someone says, but there’s no way Shane’s going. Even if he wanted to, Ilya’s gripping his hand like a lifeline, eyes finally locked on Shane’s face. Shane isn’t leaving him.

    Language:
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    02 Jul 2026

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    It was a zoomed-in image of what was unmistakably Shane’s hand, gripping white sheets in ecstasy.
    His wedding band was on his finger.
    Ilya began to, quite reasonably in his opinion, choke on his own spit.
    “There’s more where that came from,” Rose said simply, grinning at walking away.
    Mouth wide, eyes popping from his head, Ilya scanned the crowd for his husband. When he spotted him, he saw Shane having a conversation with his dad, his face completely blank even as his eyes flickered to Ilya for just a millisecond.
    “Roz! My man, how are you?” Cliff Marleau asked as he walked over to Ilya, beaming.
    “I am…I am going to die, I think,” he answered hollowly, wondering what ‘more’ meant.

    ___

    In which Shane Hollander does a boudoir shoot and gives 5 photos to Ilya during their wedding reception.
    Obviously, they end up fucking about it.

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    23 Jun 2026

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    Ilya Rozanov has been drafted by Boston, the number one pick overall, but his father doesn't want him moving to America and so takes steps to block his visa. He's going to have to go back to Russia and stay there forever and that, thinks Shane Hollander, is wrong.

    It's so wrong that Shane can't stop himself from doing something about it. Even though that something is the most reckless, the only reckless thing he's ever done in his life. He marries Rozanov in secret, to keep him out of Russia and put him on a path to Canadian citizenship.

    Shane's got a five-year plan to get him there and when you have a plan nothing can go wrong. Right? Right. When you have a solid plan and a marriage that's on paper only there's no risk of feelings getting involved. Not on Rozanov's part and certainly not on Shane's.

    Right???

    (or, the story of how Shane Hollander fell in love with his own husband)

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    18 Jun 2026

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    “This is very romantic,” Shane said, taking it all in again.

    Ilya shrugged, “We’ve never been in the same city on this day before,” he said it like he would have planned something the previous years if they had been.

    “I can’t imagine twenty-three-year-old Rozanov doing this for me."

    “No. Definitely not. I might have made you come twice though, as a treat,” Ilya’s lips tipped into that roguish, crooked grin of his.

    *

    Or: On-ice fights, candlelit surprises, midnight confessions, Shane is treated to a night he won’t forget.

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    19 May 2026