1 - 20 of 232 Bookmarks by Pamplemousse
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Ed’s used to visitors, though the novelty of his home has worn off in the last eighteen months or so, the uninvited guests becoming fewer and further between. He’s used to curiosity, and questions he rarely feels like answering. He’s used to people forgetting that this is, in fact, his home, and not some out of the way tourist attraction.
He’s used to strangers.
But he’s starting to think that perhaps, not all his visitors need to stay strangers.
or: Ed has a simple life. He has a self-built, off grid, mostly self-sustaining house tucked away in the middle of a forest. He has five chickens, and a partially feral cat. He lives alone, and he likes it that way. Until the appearance of an incredibly nosy, incredibly handsome stranger three weekends in a row has him questioning every self-imposed rule he's ever set himself.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 55,476
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Comments:
- 574
- Kudos:
- 1,164
- Bookmarks:
- 324
- Hits:
- 18,448
Bookmarked by mysterybees (Pamplemousse)
08 Feb 2026
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Our saltwater solution reduces gravity’s pull by over 80%, ensuring you'll effortlessly stay afloat! We keep the water at a steady 36 degrees—matching your skin’s temperature. This blend of weightlessness and warmth blurs the lines between your body and the water, as your nerves can’t tell where you end and the surrounding environment begins.
Weightlessness. Yeah. If anything’s gonna be Ed’s cure-all, it’s gotta be weightlessness, right?
Ed’s carried around weight for most of his life. He’s tired. His muscles ache. His joints are all ground down to dust.
Also - the word solution is right there. Which proves it.
This is it. This is Ed’s solution.
(Or: Ed's on a wellness journey for his fuckass brain. It's not going great. The guy at the float tank place is being way too nice about it. Please mind the tags!)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 154,026
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Comments:
- 1,245
- Kudos:
- 478
- Bookmarks:
- 130
- Hits:
- 14,437
Bookmarked by mysterybees (Pamplemousse)
03 Jan 2026
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“I am not getting on that fucking horse.”
*
Ed gets on the fucking horse.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,385
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 225
- Kudos:
- 713
- Bookmarks:
- 127
- Hits:
- 3,583
Bookmarked by mysterybees (Pamplemousse)
29 Sep 2025
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Ed and Stede are together again, and it's right and good. But Ed can't keep himself from daydreaming about the way things were during their first few weeks together on the revenge, before Stede left. Stede finds a way to take them back, just for a night.
_________________________Those memories have a golden hue. Every day had been something new. Every act of affection and care that Stede paid to Ed had been another unexpected pleasure. Ed used to steal the smallest, most innocent touch and savor it for the rest of the day like a candy on his tongue. He used to spend his nights remembering warm smiles and kind words from the day and imagining more. More. Everything.
“I just miss it sometimes,” Ed finally says, the confession escaping him in a heavy breath.
Bookmarked by mysterybees (Pamplemousse)
24 Jun 2025
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Honey, don't feed me, I will come back by serpent_and_dahlia
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
19 Apr 2025
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Summary
Bubbles shielded Ed’s modesty, a dense carpet of them covering the surface of the water so that all Stede could see was his face, the silver mass of his hair piled messily, fetchingly atop his head, and—just above the cloud line, peeking in and out of view—the slope of his bare shoulders, the suggestion of a clavicle. A smear of bubblebath clung to his jaw. A stray lock of hair, damp with steam, stuck to the side of his neck.
The sheer eroticism of the image nearly sent Stede to his knees; more devastating, perhaps, than if Ed had stood before him completely bare.
*
Ed's wearing the sack, and the bell. He's doing his best to make himself useful, to win back the crew's trust. He's just maybe not doing such a great job taking care of himself in the process, but luckily Stede has a solution: time for a bubble bath.
Bookmarked by mysterybees (Pamplemousse)
20 Apr 2025
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Stede has a no terrible horrible no good very bad day. Ed helps.
Bookmarked by mysterybees (Pamplemousse)
05 Mar 2025
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Long before The Gentleman Pirate and Blackbeard met in a swirl of fire and smoke, two strangers stumbled upon each other in late 17th century Boston. Their charged encounter was supposed to be brief, but became something much more.
Series
- Part 6 of Pez's pre-canon gentlebeard stories
Bookmarked by mysterybees (Pamplemousse)
20 Feb 2025
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For day 26, Real Story, of Janu-au-ry.
Ed is a sailor with a broken rudder; the response to his distress call is nothing he expected.
He waits. The radio crackles into life.
“Pan-pan,” the voice on the other end says. Male. Kiwi. Bit odd, in this part of the world. A bit nervous, but then, maybe that’s not surprising. Not an everyday thing, even when it’s not a more urgent Mayday call.
“La Concorde QAR-1, La Concorde QAR-1, La Concorde QAR-1.
This is the sailboat Revenge SBT2, Revenge SBT2, Revenge SBT2.
Received, pan-pan.
Would you like a tug? Over.”
Ed grins. “Never been one to say no to that, Revenge, over,” he drawls down the radio.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 9,083
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 214
- Kudos:
- 304
- Bookmarks:
- 68
- Hits:
- 1,511
Bookmarked by mysterybees (Pamplemousse)
26 Jan 2025
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“Jesus, Stede,” he manages, panting. “What are you doing?”
“Paying attention,” Stede says lightly. “Go on. Teach me.”
Bookmarked by mysterybees (Pamplemousse)
07 Jan 2025
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When they get back to the ship, Stede asks Ed to wait in the dinghy and climbs up the ladder to ask the crew if Ed can stay. Ed waits. He hadn’t really expected to get this far anyways. He certainly hadn’t expected Stede to follow him off the ship, or invite him back, or talk to the crew on his behalf. In between the gentle slap of the waves against the hull of the ship, he can hear that conversation happening above him, a quiet muttering that sits just on the edge of his hearing.
He should probably care about what they’re saying, should probably hoist himself up the ladder a bit to suss out who’s in favor and who’s against, determine what kind of situation he’s facing by climbing right back on board with the crew that had just mutinied against him, calculate his odds of surviving through the night. He should probably do all of that.
It sounds exhausting.
Ed gets back on the Revenge and everything that's happened in the last few days catches up to him. Stede does his best to help him through it.
Bookmarked by mysterybees (Pamplemousse)
19 Dec 2024
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So there Ed is, in this enormous room all decked out in ivory and gold, surrounded by one-percenters and inherited wealth and fucking caviar. And he sits under a canopy of twinkling crystals, and he plays his mood music, and the room slowly fills.
And the bride and groom are nowhere to be seen.
Ed’s starting to feel more and more like a member of the string quartet playing out the sinking of the fucking Titanic.
(Or: Ed's the harpist at a swanky wedding that's gone south. Stede's got his own problems. A one-night fastburn meet-cute: fluff, humour, eventual smut, and a truly obscene description of caviar)
Bookmarked by Pamplemousse
07 Dec 2024
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“You know I’d be perfectly glad to give you a crack at it, Ed. I’d…it’s always me. And of course, I thoroughly enjoy a…a good round of cards. But if you’d like a turn, I–I think I’d actually rather enjoy giving you the reins for once.”
And why the fuck does his voice sound so pitchy and anxious and tight?
It’s…it’s fucking solitaire.
“Just don’t think I’ll be as good at it as you, love,” Ed murmurs truthfully.
“I think–” Stede confesses quietly. “I think you’d be very good, if you were willing to give it a shot. Methodical. Careful. Gentle.”
Ed frowns. He tilts his head to try and catch Stede’s gaze, but Stede quickly looks away.
“Do you,” Ed begins, hesitant and feeling strangely wrongfooted, like there’s a conversation happening in Stede’s head that he isn’t a part of. “Do you need to be particularly gentle with playing cards?”
(OR: Stede is not talking about solitaire. A post-canon romp about quality time, communication, sex, and being brave enough to ask for the things you want.)
Bookmarked by Pamplemousse
29 Nov 2024
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The true history:
The Pacific Clipper was a Pan American Airlines scheduled commercial flight from San Francisco, California, to Auckland, New Zealand that operated from 1939 to 1941. All tickets were first class and cost around $15,000 in 2024 US dollars; passengers ate five course meals prepared by chefs from four star restaurants. From December 1941 to January 1942, the Pacific Clipper completed an unplanned nearly around-the-world flight: the first commercial circumnavigation of the globe. Oh, also, there is an actual historical guy referred to as ‘the Swede’ who was the First Engineer on the crew.The Our Flag Means Death version:
Our crew:
Captain Stede Bonnet
First Officer Frenchie
Second Officer/Navigator Buttons
Third Officer Wee John Feeney
Fourth Officer Archie
First Engineer The Swede
Second Engineer Pete
First Radio Officer Edward Teach
Second Radio Officer Jim Jimenez
Radio Operator Oluwande Boodhari
Purser Roach
Asst Purser Lucius Spriggs- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 116,421
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 633
- Kudos:
- 322
- Bookmarks:
- 120
- Hits:
- 7,369
Bookmarked by Pamplemousse
30 Sep 2024
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Summary
Come to karaoke, Lucius had said. It’s a good crew of regulars, he’d said. It’s not officially a queer bar but it’s definitely a queer bar, he’d said.
One of my friends is one of the most beautiful men on the planet was definitely not one of the phrases he’d used to try and convince Stede to come. Might have achieved his desired outcome a little faster if that had been part of his proposal.
or: eight times Ed and Stede don't have sex after Friday Night Karaoke at Jackie'z, and one time they absolutely, definitely do.
or: karaoke sex chicken: the not quite musical
Bookmarked by Pamplemousse
18 Aug 2024
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Summary
When Ed and Stede take the act of grace, they're offered two choices: serve their ten year sentence in the navy, or marry a respectable landowner and become gentlemen farmers. Featuring: a marriage fuckery, homesteading, and two middle aged men trying to figure out how to have feelings while surrounded by all their wacky friends.
Diverges from canon immediately after the scene in 1x09 wherein Stede realizes he's legally dead. That's right, 1x10 doesn't exist here.
Bookmarked by Pamplemousse
11 Aug 2024
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Summary
Ed can hear birdsong. Birdsong signalling that something in the ecosystem has shifted, dramatically. In a way that was impossible to notice when you’re immersed in it. And it hits him all at once, the realisation that the last ten years are coming to an end, that his period of bare bones survival is going to start shifting into something more active, something faster, something with significantly more intent behind it. After all, nobody tells you when the aftermath becomes just…after. Nobody can tell you when you’re going to feel safe enough to start living again.
or: Ten years after the world ended, Ed's running out of reasons to stay alive. Until one turns up on his literal doorstep, forcing him to reevaluate his definition of hope.
Bookmarked by Pamplemousse
05 Aug 2024
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Summary
It's the late 90s. Stede, a senior in high school, takes a job at a local fast food franchise to earn some cash, hoping to make it out without his father's help. His trainer at work, Ed, wants to escape too. Maybe together they can get somewhere. Anywhere is better.
They'll get out, sure. But they have a whole lot to learn.
Childhood friends to lovers who don't talk about it to strangers to lovers, basically. Some angst, but hopefully balanced.
Thrilled to say this has been podfic'd by Lindie, the best who ever done it. Link here.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 85,932
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Comments:
- 1,134
- Kudos:
- 777
- Bookmarks:
- 219
- Hits:
- 17,057
Bookmarked by Pamplemousse
25 Jul 2024
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Summary
The meet-cute fast-burn no-angst one-shot no one asked for. Divorced dad Stede Bonnet is having a very bad day when he meets a handsome train conductor who helps him out of a jam. Will they choo-choo-choose each other? (Spoiler alert: yes).
Bookmarked by Pamplemousse
08 Feb 2024
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Summary
a quick tag to 2.05!
Ed is cold.
Now with a podfic by the incredible Lindie! Check it out: it’s better than reading it.
Bookmarked by Pamplemousse
02 Feb 2024
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Summary
Edward Teach is a pop star about to embark on his latest tour when he develops vocal nodes. Stede Bonnet is the voice specialist who treats him. Sparks fly.
“Right. And could you please describe your singing voice to me? Or sing something you feel showcases your voice, if you feel comfortable. For my usual clientele, I’d suggest their go-to audition song, but I don’t get the sense that you do much auditioning.”
There’s a long pause during which Stede takes note of the guy’s eyes. Not a literal case note, that would be inappropriate. His eyes are large and brown and expressive, quicksand eyes. Eyes a person could get lost in. Right now, they’re slightly narrowed at Stede. He seems to decide something.
“Listen,” the client says. “I appreciate you not wanting to make it weird, but I promise I’m used to it.”
“Used to it?” Stede asks, and there go the eyes again. Stede has the oddest sense of being taken apart, exposed, like the recurring dream he has of walking through the halls of his secondary school without a single stitch of clothing on, down to the same vague, unsettling sense that it should be more awkward than it is.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 78,592
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Comments:
- 1,363
- Kudos:
- 1,563
- Bookmarks:
- 445
- Hits:
- 28,710
Bookmarked by Pamplemousse
30 Jan 2024