PantryJesus
Fandoms
- Dead Boy Detectives (TV) (29)
- Teen Wolf (TV) (8)
- Merlin (TV) (4)
- The Sandman (TV 2022) (2)
- Jennifer's Body (2009) (1)
Recent works
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Summary
The sun is starting to set, and the lake water still clinging to them is cold, but there is warmth pooling between their bodies; blood running hot and close under their skin. Ilya sinks his fingers into Shane's soft hips, feeling it, and Shane shivers atop him. He stares into Ilya's eyes like he is stargazing, his own crinkled with his smile. Ilya loves him so much.
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A soft moment at the cottage.
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Summary
Edwin keeps goin’ translucent enough Charles can see the windowsill straight through his throat, before he shudders and takes a breath and—forces himself, it looks like, right back whole again.
“C’mon, mate,” Charles says. “Whatever that is can wait ‘til later, yeah?”
Series
- Part 10 of Brief Moments
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Summary
Jennifer had always been stubborn. Always had to have the last word. And god, hadn’t she managed that—sinking her teeth into Needy’s flesh and not killing her, not eating her, but shoving in the same evil that was charring her own soul from the inside out. Like she couldn’t die without making sure some part of her was stuck in Needy forever; shrapnel from the atomic explosion of their friendship.
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Summary
“This is highly unprofessional,” Edwin huffs, a few ticks after the cupboard door clicks shut behind them. “We are here on a case, Charles.”
Series
- Part 7 of Brief Moments
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An Excerpt from the Journal of Edwin Payne: Trust by PantryJesus
Fandoms: Dead Boy Detectives (TV)
13 Feb 2026
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Summary
I enjoy exposing you.
It is incredibly uncouth of me; I know this, and there is a great measure of shame in me because of it.
Series
- Part 4 of To be so Known
- Part 9 of Brief Moments
Recent series
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Summary
Collected Dead Boy Detectives drabbles and ficlets, mainly but not exclusively Payneland.
- Words:
- 9,110
- Works:
- 10
- Bookmarks:
- 3
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Summary
After getting together, Charles and Edwin explore power dynamics.
OR: an unintentional deep-dive into submissive Charles and dominant Edwin.
- Words:
- 17,134
- Works:
- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 25
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Summary
A collection of Crystal-and-Niko-centric fics, set in miscellaneous universes in which Palasaki become roommates after Niko's return.
- Words:
- 3,308
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 1
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Summary
Or: A series of rescues conducted on Friday nights at an American university.
(A modern alive AU where Charles and Edwin meet and become friends at university in the States, along with Crystal and Niko.)
- Words:
- 3,704
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 4
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Summary
A collection of various disconnected Payneland AUs (mostly modern/alive AU, but not exclusively).
OR: Charles and Edwin finding each other in every universe.
- Words:
- 9,361
- Works:
- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 2
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
Shane should be here right now, should be in Ilya’s house. Ilya should be teasing him about being picky while going through delivery options for food on his phone. Shane should be discovering that Ilya has ginger ale in the fridge and the protein bars Shane mentioned liking in an interview in his pantry. He should be making out with Shane on the couch, sneaking a hand into his pants, teasing him about whether they can beat the deliveryman and arrive before he does. Shane was supposed to spend the night tonight, the Montreal team not set to leave until tomorrow afternoon because of potential bad weather in the morning. Shane should be fed and showered and ready to curl up in bed with Ilya tonight.
But Shane is in a hospital.And Ilya is here.
He pulls up Jane in his phone again. He presses call.
“Hey, you’ve reached Shane Hollander-”
Ilya closes his eyes and lets Shane’s voice roll over him.
(canon divergence in which shane getting injured happens during a game in boston) (...which means shane then gets to go home with ilya to recover)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 24,930
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Comments:
- 649
- Kudos:
- 9,217
- Bookmarks:
- 2,289
- Hits:
- 76,902
Bookmarked by PantryJesus
07 Jul 2026
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Hyaline (see-through) by JaneGreyTheQueen, quod_amatur_vivit
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
06 Jul 2026
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Summary
Click.
“Is she with you?”Series
- Part 2 of The recognition so richly deserved
Bookmarked by PantryJesus
06 Jul 2026
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Summary
When he presses the button on the doorbell, he hears the digitally-produced ding-dong echo from inside. There is a tiny box halfway up the adjacent wall that immediately beeps and emits Shane’s voice.
“Hey, you can just leave it on the step, thanks.”
Ilya presses his nose into the digital doorbell, which he knows to also contain a camera, and says, “Shane.”
A pause.
“What the fuck.”
A brief cacophony of noise that Ilya can hear even from outside the house. The multiple successive thumps of something falling, Shane swearing loudly and the sound of what can only be a hockey game being paused on the television.
He opens the door to reveal that he is nap-rumpled, wearing two pairs of socks and carrying a child in his arms. The only really surprising part is that the socks don’t match, though the child is interesting.Ilya takes an impromptu trip to Montreal. There are unforeseen consequences.
Bookmarked by PantryJesus
06 Jul 2026
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Summary
J.J. didn't hate Ilya Rozanov. No, he was just a major pain in the ass with a mouth on him only a mother could love. At least that's what he thought until a well-timed dinner where all the little scraps and puzzle pieces came together to form the thought: Holy shit, Shane is seeing Rozanov. Now J.J. has to figure out what the hell he's going to do, because his Capitaine has barely been out to the team a month and this secret is already making J.J. lose his mind, and it's only been three minutes.
(Or: A canon-divergent AU where instead of Hayden connecting the dots in 2018, it's J.J.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,963
- Chapters:
- 3/33
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 122
- Kudos:
- 913
- Bookmarks:
- 237
- Hits:
- 11,939
Bookmarked by PantryJesus
05 Jul 2026
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Summary
Shane’s brain cycled rapidly through a half-dozen celebrities, porn actors, Grindr profiles, every attractive bartender who’d ever served him a beer, trying to find a comparison for this level of outrageously concentrated beauty in one person, but he was drawing a blank.
The man—Ilya Rozanov, Facilities Attendant, his badge read—gestured around the supply closet. “I help you find something?”
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Canon-divergent AU set during the 2017-18 MLH season. Shane Hollander doesn’t have a single Cup to his name when he meets a very hot and very annoying janitor who works at the Metros stadium.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 28,862
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 709
- Kudos:
- 3,125
- Bookmarks:
- 1,107
- Hits:
- 27,125
Bookmarked by PantryJesus
05 Jul 2026