1 - 20 of 228 Bookmarks by PraiseThePadaBooty
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Stede Bonnet takes his daughter to Coachella for a meet and greet with her favorite boyband. He flirts with a young, mysterious stranger, only to find out that he is a member of that very same boyband. Stede is much too old and boring to date as massive of a celebrity as Edward Teach.
Isn't he?
Bookmarked by PraiseThePadaBooty
22 Apr 2026
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Stede likes sharing food with his new friend Ed. Bringing him treats and new indulgences to try. He likes it a lot.
Maybe too much?
Fuck.
Bookmarked by PraiseThePadaBooty
05 Apr 2026
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It's the 1890s and Lucius Spriggs answers an advertisement seeking an artist who's comfortable with the erotic.
It leads him to sex toy inventors Stede and Ed, who need visuals to sell the vibrator they've created. They also need a test subject to try it out, and Lucius is very willing to help.
Series
- Part 3 of Claire's AUpril 2024 Fics
- Part 1 of Bonnet & Teach's Fantastic Inventions
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Stede Bonnet's dream of moving his family to Bali has been quashed when Mary refuses to do it, and the holiday he's planned to try to convince her otherwise has just resulted in a plan to divorce when they get home.
Which is, of course, when a volcano on a different island erupts, sending plumes of ash into the air and cancelling all flights.
Trapped without accommodation in the worst week of their lives, Stede's stunned when cryptocurrency legend Edward Teach sees him on the news and offers a place for them to stay. He's about to get far, far more than he bargained for.
Series
- Part 1 of Claire's OFMD JanuAUry 2025 Fics
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You kissed me just to kiss me, not to make me cry by makesometime
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
12 Apr 2022
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“Ed?”
He’s getting distracted. It’s probably a defence or something, against worrying that he’s laying himself bare to someone who might just go and fuck it all up again and leave him, more heartbroken than before.
“Yeah.” He smiles. “I’m here.”
Bookmarked by PraiseThePadaBooty
28 Mar 2026
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Getting used to Heaven is something of a marvel. It ain't perfect, and Dean thinks he'd hate it if it was, which is probably why it isn't.
~~~
"You don't understand," Dean whispers, exhaling shakily. "I know you don't, because even I don't. The instant you were gone, I wanted you back. Cas, I wanted you back. I wanted—I wanted—"
Cas stares at him, searching his face. After a moment, his own face falls slack, eyes widening just so. "Oh," he breathes out.
Dean wants to be furious that Cas has figured it out before he has—whatever it is—but he's not even that surprised. Cas knows him too well, always has, even more than Dean knows himself. He's been kicking Dean in the goddamn teeth with how deeply he understands him, even about the things Dean doesn't, ever since they first met. You don't think you deserve to be saved, that's what Cas had said. All bundled up in impossibilities and power, this being that looked at Dean Winchester and knew every single inch of him, as if he had a right to each part.
"What?" Dean grits out.
"I love you, too."
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up around the bend by Poutini
Fandoms: Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
12 Feb 2026
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“Don’t worry, it’ll fit,” Ilya had assured him, but Shane isn’t so sure, now that the head of Ilya’s dick has popped into his body and the slide of the shaft seems interminably long.
...
“So, is that…it, then?”
Ilya chuckles above him, and Shane protests. “Well, I don’t know! It’s not like my dildo is the length of a fucking snake like your dick, asshole.”
Ilya gives a few short thrusts to silence Shane. “Shhhh, moy lyubimyy. You can take the rest. I just need you to breathe and let me in.”
Bookmarked by PraiseThePadaBooty
18 Feb 2026
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how the mighty fall by cecillusive (doorwaytoparadise)
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
11 Jul 2023
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"As the one who's bested the great Blackbeard, I'll enjoy everything that comes with my conquest."
Stede leans in close, a predatory curve to his lips.
"After all," he mutters quietly, right in Ed's face, "to the victor, go the spoils."
or
Stede, Ed, and Izzy indulge in some consensual non-consent in the form of an enemy captain capturing Blackbeard and his First Mate and having his way with them
Bookmarked by PraiseThePadaBooty
16 Feb 2026
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tuck my hair behind my ears and touch my soul again by thesoulundone
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
15 Sep 2023
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Edward is staring fixedly at the decking above their heads, and though the light is low it seems as though he's flushed.
"Well," he says, halting at first, and then all in a rush, "I always did think– I'd like to have been– properly deflowered."
A long silence greets this pronouncement, and then Stede, strangled, manages to say, "Oh."
"Jesus Christ," says Izzy, long-suffering, trying not to let on how his pulse is thudding.
--
Edward, Stede and Izzy explore some previously unexplored desires.
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Stede Bonnet has just moved into Orange Crescent. There’s a house on the corner, opposite Stede’s own, with a garden full of flowers and a gleaming motorbike on the driveway. He’s forgotten to buy sugar.
Edward Teach has his morning disturbed by his new neighbour. Enamoured at first sight, he invites Stede round for a chat, and then another, and then another.
This is the story of them.
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A twist on Ed-is-literally-the-Kraken, where instead of having tentacles, Ed ejaculates squid ink.
Bookmarked by PraiseThePadaBooty
13 Jan 2026
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A plumbing emergency forces Stede to source a screwdriver from the nearest man on Grindr.
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For the wonderful Sam, who gave the prompt "Ed chooses Izzy over Stede in some way. Established-married-for-30-years-Edizzy PLEAAAASE."
This story grew a bit of a life of its own, but I hope it fits the bill!
A post-S1 vibes canon-divergent pre-steddyhands/steddyhands getting together fic, in which Stede and Izzy are kidnapped by a gang of hapless thugs and the rest of the crew, led by Blackbeard himself, have to rescue them.
Featuring cameos from as many of the roles that Con O'Neill has blessed us with as I could fit into one fic, secret 30 year EdIzzy marriage, sword fights, escape plans, a bit of gratuitous voyeurism, and Stede discovering some new things about himself.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 19,206
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 30
- Kudos:
- 92
- Bookmarks:
- 13
- Hits:
- 672
Bookmarked by PraiseThePadaBooty
28 Dec 2025
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Stede's new island life is shaping up slowly but surely... and then he finds something strange in the water.
A selkie AU (...sort of)!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21,881
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 126
- Kudos:
- 146
- Bookmarks:
- 29
- Hits:
- 1,518
Bookmarked by PraiseThePadaBooty
28 Dec 2025
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The day they get married, the things he knows about Stede could fit on a post-it note.
First: he’s fucking rich.
Second: he needs a husband to stay that way.
Third: he is built like a brick shithouse. Pretty eyes, nice hair. Penchant for weird socks.
(Or: 5 times Ed doesn't tell his husband he loves him, and 1 time he does.)
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A 12-part NSFW art series of Izzy Hands in smutty festive Situations.
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When Stede meets a startlingly well-dressed man at an otherwise rather tacky Sexy Santa Night at the bar, he quickly develops one objective: hold this man's attention by any means necessary. Even if it means pretending to be terrible at pool.
Despite Stede's ruse, Ed might just see him more clearly than anyone ever has before. And Stede might be getting some life-changing Christmas wishes granted tonight that he didn't even know he had.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 19,500
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 69
- Kudos:
- 328
- Bookmarks:
- 67
- Hits:
- 3,406
Bookmarked by PraiseThePadaBooty
23 Dec 2025
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Ed knows nobody can beat him at a paper plane challenge, so when Stede ties with him for the furthest throw in a trivia night between-rounds challenge, he's intrigued. They're dunked into a four-round tiebreaker of paper plane contests to declare the ultimate winner.
As they get to know each other round by round, it turns out there's more to gain than glory...
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Ed's boring call to his insurance company leads to him falling head over heels for a recorded voice that's part of the hold music.
Maybe he's not doing so great, and it took a kind stranger doing a fun bit to make him see that. Or, maybe he and Hold Guy were always destined to be together.
All he has to do now is find him...
Series
- Part 11 of Silly Spicy Sweet One-Shots
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- Words:
- 43,671
- Works:
- 7
- Bookmarks:
- 14
Bookmarked by PraiseThePadaBooty
23 Nov 2025