Princess_Sarcastia
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Recent works
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Summary
Maddie's always wanted to do anal. She tries it with Doug, first, with disastrous results. Years later, she works up the nerve to try again—this time, with the one person she trusts completely.
A story in two parts.
It takes Maddie some time to work up to asking for it again. Whenever that itch of curiosity strikes, so too does the memory of Doug's patronizing little ick face.
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Its madman might think it gave her a reprieve, but he should have used his head. If someone put him in a computer simulation for all eternity, a fixed ending, he would kill himself inside of a month and hope he somehow found something better out the other side.
River's mother grew her inside of herself; the TARDIS stands to reason that it could do the same thing for its girl.
For the, "Keep Fandom Weird" bingo challenge. Prompt: Sentient Setting or Location.
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In the presence of God, I make this vow. by Princess_Sarcastia
Fandoms: Chronicles of Narnia - All Media Types
25 Jul 2025
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Summary
Susan always hoped, quietly, that when she married, it would be with love.
For the, "Keep Fandom Weird" bingo challenge. Prompt: arranged divorce.
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take your foot off of the break by Princess_Sarcastia
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe
04 Mar 2025
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Summary
It aches in a good way, stretching herself thin like this. The way Pietro felt when Strucker pushed him another hundred miles past when he wanted to stop, except this is so much more than a hundred miles. Like reality is bending to let her reach farther and farther.
Novi Grad is Wanda's city. She's spent her whole life trying to hold it together. Today, it all sits in the palms of her hands.
Series
- Part 1 of remember what we had here
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,630
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 5
- Hits:
- 52
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hold tender this land by Princess_Sarcastia for Brenda
Fandoms: Mission: Impossible (Movies)
17 Jul 2024
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Summary
Ilsa "dies" and has to find a place to lay low, outside of the narrative. There, she finds Will. He's spent years trying to make a home there, unsuccessfully—until now.
Meanwhile, with the ever-watchful eyes of the Entity trained on him, Ethan pines. Desperately. Wordlessly. So hard, he might as well put down roots and call himself an evergreen.
Recent series
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Summary
Fractured, piecemeal attempts at salvaging the potential I once loved in the MCU, all those years ago. Someday, I may finish and publish the main event, "The magpie comes at noon," wherein Jane Foster saves the universe, but that day is not today.
- Words:
- 3,340
- Works:
- 2
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Summary
How Iceman and Maverick and Sarah built a life together, how it all fell apart, and what they and their children do to rebuild in the aftermath of terrible loss.
Grief, love, anger, reconciliation, family, and more polyamory to come.
- Words:
- 27,928
- Works:
- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 46
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in any other world (aka four ways veronica mars’ life could have ended up) by Princess_Sarcastia
Fandom Veronica Mars (Movie 2014), Veronica Mars (TV), Veronica Mars - All Media Types
20 Jul 2020
- Words:
- 6,190
- Works:
- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 1
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i am tired of re-writing tragedy without change. let them live. let them learn. let them love. by Princess_Sarcastia
Fandom Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
21 Nov 2020
Summary
Starts with Had we but World enough, and Time, which can stand alone if you're satisfied with it. still, a great deal of light falls on everything is just little scenes that didn't make the cut, or that have grabbed me by the arm and dragged me along with them, and have no real through-line or theme.
- Words:
- 12,489
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 11
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the most dangerous place in the world by Princess_Sarcastia
Fandom The Umbrella Academy (TV)
29 Jul 2020
Summary
The most dangerous place in the wold is between a mother and her children.
Good luck with that, Reginald.
- Words:
- 5,868
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 98
Recent bookmarks
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the intricate brocade of this happiness by waxing__crescent
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV)
09 Jul 2026
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Summary
But Ilya shakes his head, absolutely mute. There’s no universe, no universe where he can talk about this. He moved to America to forget.
Bookmarked by Princess_Sarcastia
14 Jul 2026
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Summary
Ilya had thought it was dumb, when Galina suggested it. A code word for when his mental health was bad—he and Shane didn’t even have a code word for sex, and Ilya was regularly tying Shane to the bed and slapping his ass until it was as red as a tomato.
“Is there a reason you’re calling me?” Shane asks now, voice echoey over the phone. “Or is this part of your strategy to win our argument?”
Ilya swallows hard. “Constantinople,” he says.
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Or: Ilya goes through a rough patch.
Series
- Part 27 of my anonymous heated rivalry fic
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 9,704
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 168
- Kudos:
- 2,328
- Bookmarks:
- 315
- Hits:
- 9,804
Bookmarked by Princess_Sarcastia
14 Jul 2026
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unfair advantage by elumish
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
29 Jun 2026
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Ilya leans forward in his chair, deliberately, to put his mouth right next to the microphone.
“Oh wow,” Ilya says brightly. His Russian accent is thicker than usual. “Drapeau must be trying so hard to seduce me. But I am sorry, I am already taken. A one man man, I am.”
Bookmarked by Princess_Sarcastia
13 Jul 2026
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hide & seek by myshangel
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
30 Jan 2026
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Summary
“Nothing, lyubimyy. I am sick. Go to work.”
“Sick how? Nauseous? Is your chest hurting?” Shane chewed the inside of his cheek. “Are you–”
“Do not worry, Hollander,” Ilya interrupted, a little sharper than usual. He finally peeled the comforter down enough for Shane to see his face. “Go to practice.”
Oh. Oh.
Bookmarked by Princess_Sarcastia
13 Jul 2026
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Summary
“Oh yes, I’m sure doctors would say this is fine,” Rozanov waved his hands around more violently. “‘Yes, Hollander’ they would say, ‘take your broken ribs and go get fucked so hard you cannot move. Is no problem, no problem at all’.”
“Bruised, not broken,” Shane corrected, although he knew that wasn’t really the point. “And a little rough sex isn’t going to kill me. I’ll be back on the ice before the next Raiders game, it won’t affect the season if you’re like…worried about poor sportsmanship or whatever.”
“Fuck Hollander, I do not care about the season! I care about–” Rozanov cut himself off sharply.
Shane gets injured during a game, then tries to hide that fact from Ilya. It goes about as well as you might expect.
Bookmarked by Princess_Sarcastia
11 Jul 2026