RoamingHobbit



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    Ask Ilya Rozanov and he’d tell you that the only thing worse than being a broke PhD student was being a broke PhD student facing eviction from your Humans Only rent-controlled apartment because you maybe, accidentally got yourself Turned over summer break.

    Cue the Bloodbanker$ app and its allegedly discreet and lucrative arrangements: a whole swipeable nest of generous Vamp4Vamp ‘Donors’ waiting for the perfect fledgling to spoil.

    Seducing an old rich dude with this hot bod? Light work.

    ‘Shane, 30*, O+’ wouldn’t know what hit him.

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    18 Jul 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Shane & Ilya, grad school vampires🌶️🌶️🌶️

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    Tampa, Florida - the 2017 All Star Game

    Two women are sitting in the hotel bar at the same time as Shane Hollander and his supposed long-term rival Ilya Rozanov are having a beer.

    Later, one of those women is also at the pool when Rozanov plays with the children of other All Stars while Hollander looks on from a lounge chair.

    What if those women were paying closer attention?
    Read to find out.

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    17 Jul 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    All-Star Wkend, 2 WAGs funny!!

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    The moment Ilya slips the wedding band onto Shane’s finger, it feels like the world goes quiet for the first time in his life.

    Peaceful in a way Shane has never known.

    They’re married. Husbands.

    And Shane is excited for all of the firsts that lie ahead of them as a married couple.
    --
    OR: A Bunch of "Firsts" from the First Year of Shane and Ilya's Marriage

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    09 Jul 2026

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    Forester (Admirals🔛🔝)
    So the true way to combat the Bisexual Russian Terminator isn’t with homophobia...
    It's actually with even more gay
    ...
    You're a goddamn genius.

    ----

    The NHL rookies have joined forces to strategize now that two of the greatest hockey players of all time are on the same team and Ilya Rozanov must suffer from the unintended consequences of making hockey more woke.

    Mainly, the way everyone keeps implying that they want to fuck his husband.

    or: a group of rookies unionize and employ chirping as a form of psychological torture against a one Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov.

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    05 Jul 2026

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    ...oh,” his mom says. “Oh, honey, you were seeing someone? You never said anything.”

    “It’s-it’s complicated.” He catches the present tense too fucking late to do anything about it, and he barely resists the urge to either groan or slip forward to start beating his head against the coffee table.

    Fuck his fucking life.

    “You’re still…seeing this person?” His mom asks, and the amount of control he can hear her exerting is almost painful. “Who is-”

    “Yuna,” his dad cuts in, voice quiet, “maybe give him a second, yeah?”

    Yeah, Shane agrees in his head. Give him a second.

    Maybe give him a decade while they’re at it.

    (when shane's old fake id falls out of his wallet around his parents, he has to explain that it was to book hotel rooms before he was 21)

    (...and then he has to explain why he needed to book those hotel rooms in the first place)

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    04 Jul 2026