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[Podfic] good god I know its dangerous (but its you that I need) by Itty_Bitty_Blondie
Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV)
17 Oct 2021
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Summary
I’m okay.” Eddie insists after a long pause.
Buck waits, knowing instinctively that there is more to come.
Eddie sighs, tilting inwards slightly until their shoulders are pressed together tightly. When he speaks, his voice sounds just a little raw. “Alright man, no I’m not. Are you? Is anyone? What kind of a question is that.”
...
Buck gives Eddie a place to stay while they recover from the acid brownies.
It changes everything and nothing.
Bookmarked by SarInTheStars
17 Jun 2026
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"That is. Okay. Where do I start." Pushing off the counter — hands need to be free for this. "Number one. That is not how being secure in your sexuality works. Number two. That is the opposite of how it works. Number three. Most straight men who are secure in their sexuality do not, as a method of confirming this, seek out gay sex. That is— Eddie, that is gay. The thing you are describing is gay. The act of doing it is gay. There is no version of this where you end up more straight at the other end."
Eddie scoffs. "You don't know that."
"I do know that."
"You don't."
"Eddie, I am bi. I have personally conducted this experiment. The results are in."
Or,
Eddie asks Buck to fuck him to prove he's straight. Things go about as well as you'd think.Series
- Part 1 of veni, vidi, vici
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 16,297
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 188
- Kudos:
- 3,520
- Bookmarks:
- 712
- Hits:
- 30,734
Bookmarked by SarInTheStars
07 Jun 2026
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Eddie simply cannot know that he is currently naked. That would be catastrophic.
“Um, I— did you need anything? I’m kind of in the middle of something,” Buck says, which. Okay. That did not sound convincing. He adds, “I can call you back in ten?”
“I thought you just woke up?” Eddie says, and, fuck— Buck did basically say that.
Carefully, he says, “I did.”
“So what were you—?”
God, this is mortifying. This might be the worst thing that’s ever happened to Buck, and he’s been caught in, like, four natural disasters. And also struck by lightning. And had a fire engine fall on him. He even dated (he shudders at the thought) Tommy Kinard.
“Eddie,” he says. He doesn’t know what else to say.
“What? If you need to pee you can just mute yourself.”
“Eddie, that’s not—”
“Then what?” Eddie laughs. “If you’re still in bed, you can’t ha— oh.”
Or: Buck answers the phone in the middle of jerking off. For some reason, Eddie asks him not to hang up.
Bookmarked by SarInTheStars
04 Jun 2026
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Buck chuckles, digging his fingernails into the expanse of Eddie’s hips. “Don’t forget the name of the game… truth or dare?”
“I hate you,” Eddie hisses as he lets his head hit the door with blunt force, the sound echoing throughout the empty house. Bad idea. That may hurt tomorrow.
“Feels like it.” Buck pauses to pull back, sweat dripping down his forehead, his cheeks blotchy and his nose beet red. Eddie wants to lick it up, wants to take another shot of tequila and chase it down with Buck’s sweat and a squeeze of lime. “You’re still so hard, Eds.”
Or; Eddie and Buck get drunk on tequila and they play a very intense game of Truth or Dare.
Bookmarked by SarInTheStars
25 May 2026
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Summary
“You know the bubbles are your enemy.”
“Pfft,” Buck scoffed. “The bubble that is Eddie’s ass isn’t my enemy. Do you think anyone’s ever eaten him out before? I think I should. He deserves to be treated nice like that.”
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Since turning 30, Buck's relationship with champagne has changed. It also manages to change his relationship with Eddie.
Bookmarked by SarInTheStars
19 May 2026
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so make the best of this test (and don't ask why) by teenytinytomlinson
Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV)
16 Feb 2025
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Summary
“So we’re into dudes now?”
Eddie tries not to let the amusement show on his face as he watches this weird version of Buck size him up. It’s reminiscent of their first meeting. Buck had acted like a complete idiot (he’d thought it was because he was threatened, but years later Buck will now finally admit it was because he wanted to fuck Eddie so bad it made him stupid). He’s got that same bratty look and attitude now.
“We’ve always been into guys, you just haven’t realized it yet.” Buck (3.0? Or is it 4.0 now?) says. Eddie’s not sure what model they’ve upgraded to at this point, but that doesn’t matter. His Buck, current-Buck, husband-Buck is speaking.
“Are you gay?” 1.0—that’s what Eddie’s taken to calling him in his mind—asks, a disgruntled look on his face. He’s actually quite cute. Smaller and leaner than the Buck Eddie first met when he started at the 118, he kind of reminds Eddie of a puppy. “Because I’m sure I don’t have to tell you this,” he waggles his eyebrows obnoxiously. “I really like women.”
“Bi.” Buck (husband-Buck) corrects, he’s got his arms crossed over his chest, defensive.
or,
Buck 1.0 time travels to a future where he and Eddie are married—everyone is handling it well.
Series
- Part 1 of time-travel
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21,224
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Comments:
- 392
- Kudos:
- 3,410
- Bookmarks:
- 792
- Hits:
- 44,895
Bookmarked by SarInTheStars
14 May 2026
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Summary
Buck yanks his boxers down and stands there, in Eddie’s room, nakedly.
…What the fuck is he doing?
Is his solution to accidentally catching an eyeful of Eddie’s dick to flash him back?
Stomach swooping, Buck scrambles to pick his briefs back off the floor. At the same moment, the bedroom door cracks open.
He hears Eddie’s sharp inhale, head snapping up in time to watch Eddie scramble for the light switch, plunging them into darkness.
Fantastic. Now they’re staring at each other in the dark. And Buck’s dick is still out.
Alright. Buck can work with this.
“Hey, man,” Buck says, feigning nonchalance.
This is a battlefield. There is no room for modesty.
An incredulous giggle slips past Eddie’s lips. “Were, uh. Were you planning on sleeping naked?”
Or: Buck and Eddie run into each other naked. Several times. For some reason.
Bookmarked by SarInTheStars
08 May 2026
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Summary
“How come you’re still awake?” Buck asks, antsy. He pulls at a loose thread inside one pocket with pinched fingers, rapidly picking apart the stitching. Better to unravel that than eight years of friendship all because said friend’s shorts have ridden up agonizingly at the thigh.
“I was waiting for you to get back. You’re kind of early, though.” Eddie’s eyes are tracked to the TV, but they dart over at Buck when he asks, “You strike out with Dixie?”
Which… Buck doesn’t even know where to start. He desperately needs to buy a vowel.
“Huh? Why—what—did I miss a text?”
Eddie, sat cross-legged on top of pearly-white cotton sheets, a vision so soft it’s making Buck dizzy, has the audacity to look puzzled. “Not from me. Why?”
or: Eddie leaves a light on for Buck.
Bookmarked by SarInTheStars
06 May 2026
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Summary
“Sit on me.”
It’s an insane thing to offer. Logically, Eddie knows this. Nobody in their right mind would do what he’s about to do, but Eddie’s starting to think maybe he isn’t in his right mind.
“Sit on you?”
“On my thighs,” Eddie explains. “That way you, uh. You know. You can touch.”
“Your ass?”
Eddie nods.
A small, wheezy laugh slips past Buck’s lips. “You want me to sit on you and j-jerk off to porn?”
“And touch,” Eddie adds.
Or: Buck wants to hit the town and get laid. Eddie is vehemently against this idea.
Bookmarked by SarInTheStars
02 May 2026
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Summary
Eddie climbs onto the bed. They sit side by side, legs extended, two letter L’s protruding off the page. Instead of pressing play like Eddie is expecting, Buck laughs.
“What?” Eddie asks, an instinctive smile caressing his lips.
Buck grips his jaw, thumb brushing over his teeth before he bites at the broad nail, stifling. “Just—did you ever see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory?”
Eddie nods. “Gene Wilder.”
“That’s the one,” Buck chuckles around his thumb, then lets it slide free. “You know the grandparents?”
Then Eddie’s laughing too. “Jesus,” he says on an exhale.
“I’m just saying,” says Buck, still giggling. “I’ve seen our future, and it’s bright.”
Or: God created the world in seven days. It only takes Eddie six to surreptitiously move into Buck’s house.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 22,938
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 124
- Kudos:
- 1,898
- Bookmarks:
- 446
- Hits:
- 21,653
Bookmarked by SarInTheStars
24 Apr 2026
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Summary
“You’re naked.”
Buck splutters. “You’re here.”
Eddie stares at him helplessly. He can’t deny it. He is here.
Of his own volition.
Because he’s crazy, and he followed Buck here, to a porn cinema, and he walked in on Buck getting fucked in the ass by a stranger, surrounded by half-naked men, with artistic gay porn projected on the wall like some sort of presentation and he’s still staring at Buck who is naked and he’s going to faint. He’s going to faint at the porn cinema, and they’re going to have to take him away in an ambulance, and Hen is going to make fun of him for the rest of his mortal life.
Or: Buck dodges Eddie’s calls. Eddie makes it his mission to find him.
Series
- Part 19 of ejo + 911
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,804
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 47
- Kudos:
- 1,387
- Bookmarks:
- 209
- Hits:
- 11,499
Bookmarked by SarInTheStars
21 Apr 2026
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“I’m a normal size.”
“No,” Buck says, insistent. “It’s— it’s thick, Eddie. Like— a real handful thick.”
Eddie ducks his head, swallowing hard. “I’m a— grower. By your definition. It gets bigger.”
Buck is still staring at him. Eddie does not look back. “Like an inch bigger?”
Grabbing his beer from the table, Eddie takes the last sip, hoping the chill of it will be some kind of cool balm over the flames within. It doesn’t help much. Quietly, he answers, “More.”
Buck gasps, loud and theatrical. “More?”
“Yes. Alright?” Eddie says tightly, his body flushes hotly. “More.”
A long second ticks by.
Abruptly and a little loudly, Buck asks, “Eddie, how big is your cock?”
Or: Buck finds out Eddie is hung. Seriously hung. This is mindblowing information to possess, apparently.
Series
- Part 17 of ejo + 911
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,763
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 100
- Kudos:
- 3,021
- Bookmarks:
- 378
- Hits:
- 18,267
Bookmarked by SarInTheStars
17 Apr 2026
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Summary
“Hey, Buck?” Christopher says. “How do you know you’re not in love with my dad?”
Buck freezes. A full body clench. “Uh,” he says. “Could you - - I think I - - sorry,” he laughs uncomfortably. “Could you repeat the question?”
“I asked Dad, but now I’m more confused. And you date men, right? But you don’t date Dad. So how do you know you don’t want to date Dad?”
Or, Christopher has some questions. He asks the two worst possible people.
Bookmarked by SarInTheStars
13 Apr 2026
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Summary
His dick is very interested in the sight before him. Buck is asleep in their bed wearing one of Eddie’s old army shirts, the fabric stretched out across Buck’s arms and chest and ending just above his hips. The shirt is also the only thing Buck is wearing; his legs are splayed out and his soft cock rests against his thigh, the covers pooled around his knees. His hair is mussed and curly from his pillow and his cheeks are pink from sleep, and tonight, Eddie wants to devour him.
Series
- Part 7 of Kinktober 2021
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,831
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 29
- Kudos:
- 2,009
- Bookmarks:
- 287
- Hits:
- 32,777
Bookmarked by SarInTheStars
12 Apr 2026
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“Eddie!”
“What?!” Eddie barks, half-amused, half-exasperated. “Buck, it’s fine. We’re fine. Nothing happened, and even if it did, who cares? All three of them had it coming.”
“Of course they did!” Buck whirls back around, jaw set, eyes burning. “Those kinds of guys will always have it coming, Eddie, but you have to think! There were three of them, and only two of us, and we are 800 miles from home with no cell service and no backup!”
Eddie, infuriatingly, just shrugs. “So what? I could’ve taken them.”
“Hand-to-hand? Yeah, maybe. But what if one of them had a knife? Or a gun?”
“It wouldn’t matter.”
“It wouldn’t ma—” Buck blinks, once, then twice. “It wouldn’t matter?”
or: a Mother’s Boy rewrite. The car breaks down, so Buck and Eddie have to spend the night in the motel. There’s only one bed. Buck has a lot of questions. Sappy smut ensues.
Bookmarked by SarInTheStars
31 Mar 2026
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amourissima (you used to call me comme ça) by beetlesandstars, kryptonian
Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV)
29 Mar 2026
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Summary
“Buck, seriously.” Eddie catches his eye, staring intently, attempting to beam the anxiety straight into Buck’s brain. “I know we’re both playing it cool, but… How are you not freaking out right now? I’m freaking out right now.”
Buck quirks an eyebrow. “I thought you didn’t panic.”
“I don’t,” Eddie insists. “But I woke up in the wrong body this morning, and I had to—” He lowers his voice, ducking closer to Buck. “I touched your dick, man. Which—you know.”
A violation of boundaries. A line that can’t be uncrossed. Something Eddie feels deeply guilty about.
“You touched my dick?” Buck asks, approximately one billion decibels louder than necessary.
The room around them stills.
Or: Buck and Eddie switch bodies. Chaos ensues.
Series
- Part 15 of ejo + 911
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 26,685
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 127
- Kudos:
- 2,712
- Bookmarks:
- 554
- Hits:
- 24,797
Bookmarked by SarInTheStars
30 Mar 2026
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Summary
“C'mere," Buck says, sitting up to scoot closer to Eddie.
"What are you doing?” Eddie asks, and Buck sighs.
"You can just kiss me, get a taste of the lip balm, and tell me what flavour you think it is.”
Eddie can’t believe his ears.
"That is such a stupid way to win a bet, Buck."
“Oh so you concede?"
Eddie rolls his eyes, shaking his head before planting both hands on the sides of Buck's face and hauling him in to press their lips together.
OR
Buck and Eddie make a bet on whether or not Eddie can guess all of Buck's lip balm flavours, and in order for Eddie to get a taste, they have to kiss.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 14,103
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 236
- Kudos:
- 6,272
- Bookmarks:
- 1,564
- Hits:
- 48,941
Bookmarked by SarInTheStars
20 Mar 2026
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i know it’s not very sexy when somebody loves you this much and knows you this well by fleetinghearts for greencreekwolf
Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV)
29 Jul 2025
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Summary
“I mean,” Eddie backtracks hastily, “that I probably don’t—uh, that I don’t want a hook up. Just the single, uh, kiss. For research.”
“Right,” Buck nods. “For research.”
They turn back to the TV, sipping beers and spooning dessert, room quiet save for the telenovela playing. Buck, gun to his head, could not tell you who or what is on the screen right now. The brave, strong part of his brain has surrendered shamefully, white flag hoisted while the rest of his brain—stupid, stupid—hosts a skillfully imagined supercut of his best friend kissing men. It’s surprisingly new subject matter for him. What’s unsurprising is his distaste for every conjured scenario, discarding each indistinguishable stranger until the reel buffers on something more… familiar.
“Well—”
Eddie waits a patient minute for Buck to continue before asking, “Well, what?”
“I just mean—if it’s just a kiss, right.” Buck pauses. “You could, uh. You could try it with me.”
or, buck thinks kissing men and women feels pretty much the same. eddie’s not buying it. sometimes settling a bet requires kissing your best friend, a lot, for research
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,773
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 207
- Kudos:
- 4,439
- Bookmarks:
- 998
- Hits:
- 36,175
Bookmarked by SarInTheStars
19 Mar 2026
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Summary
Oh, alright, cool.
Cool, cool, cool. Neat.
That is a photograph of Eddie Diaz's dick.
It's just there. On the screen. In his hand. In high resolution. His best friend’s dick is in his hand. Well, wait — the photo. The photo of the penis is in his hand. Eddie’s dick isn’t in his hand. That would be absurd.
It’s just a penis. Buck has one of those.
So does Eddie, apparently and it’s… Buck has seen it, absorbed it, and every thought he's ever had has been replaced by a high-pitched tone and the image in front of him, which is — and this is the last coherent observation he'll produce for the foreseeable future —
Big.
Genuinely, impressively big.
Buck closes out of the photo and locks the phone so hard he's surprised it doesn't crack in half.
"Maddie say anything?" Eddie asks.
"Yep," Buck squeaks. Like a mouse. A giant, shocked mouse that has just seen its best friend’s erect dick.
"You okay?"
"Great. Y-yep. So great. I-I'm just really— the sunset was really— it's very— yep."
"It’s yep?"
"Uh-huh. Very yep."
Or,
Stumbling upon your straight best friends' nudes is fine. Buck is fine. Everything is fine.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 16,795
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 222
- Kudos:
- 3,540
- Bookmarks:
- 614
- Hits:
- 25,980
Bookmarked by SarInTheStars
18 Mar 2026
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Summary
"Kiss me."
Buck's hands freeze, the stroking stops. “...I’m sorry?”
“Kiss me.” Eddie doesn't know where this is coming from, except he does, actually—it's coming from the part of his brain that has been chewing on this problem for two days straight and has finally arrived at a solution. A terrible solution. A solution that makes perfect sense if you don't think about it too hard. "I need to know."
Or,
The scientific unravelling of Eddie Diaz.a 9x7 coda
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 15,472
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 169
- Kudos:
- 2,580
- Bookmarks:
- 505
- Hits:
- 20,220
Bookmarked by SarInTheStars
12 Mar 2026