SmokedCashmere
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cough syrup by DairyFarmer
Fandoms: Batman (Comics), Red Robin (Comics), Robin (Comics), DCU (Comics), Batman and Robin (Comics)
22 Mar 2026
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Summary
Tim was tired and done.
He didn't deserve this.
"Either Damian goes or I do, take your pick."
Bruce stared at him.
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Tim reaches his breaking point and presents an ultimatum.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 75,125
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Collections:
- 8
- Comments:
- 632
- Kudos:
- 6,241
- Bookmarks:
- 1,791
- Hits:
- 66,080
Bookmarked by SmokedCashmere
30 Mar 2026
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Summary
“I’ve got it! I know how to protect the hotel residents from the next extermination!”
Charlie paused her pacing, which had been threatening to wear holes in the carpet, and gazed wide-eyed at her grinning father. “You do? How!?”
“Simple!” He snapped his fingers, and his white suit was replaced by a black tuxedo with a red rose in the boutonniere. “I'm marrying EVERYONE here!”
Series
- Part 1 of Lucifer Married EVERYONE Here, Now What?
Bookmarked by SmokedCashmere
27 Mar 2026
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Summary
“The Red Hood has been good for Gotham,” Robin continued. “Crime in Park Row decreased by sixty one percent almost as soon as you showed up, and that’s even taking into account all the crime you commit. Drug overdoses have decreased by twenty two percent in adults and seventy nine percent in minors. Homeless minors are ninety two percent less likely to—”
“Kid,” Jason interrupted. “Enough statistics. What the hell is this about?”
Robin slowly lowered the tablet with his powerpoint presentation and looked up at Red Hood.
“You care about Gotham,” Robin summarised. “Gotham needs Batman. Batman is missing and so is Nightwing. We need you to fill in for Batman.”
“You want me to cover Batman’s patrols?” Jason clarified.
“No,” Robin said. “I want you to be Batman.”
Jason bluescreened.
(Or: Batman and Nightwing mysteriously disappear before Red Hood has even started antagonising them, Robin is desperate, Gotham needs Batman, and Red Hood is Batman-Shaped.)
Series
- Part 1 of The Right Substitution is Key
- Part 3 of Unhinged and Unrelated Jason Todd Content
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 34,416
- Chapters:
- 14/14
- Collections:
- 61
- Comments:
- 4,983
- Kudos:
- 17,296
- Bookmarks:
- 4,997
- Hits:
- 216,480
Bookmarked by SmokedCashmere
07 Mar 2026
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- Words:
- 11,129
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 4
Bookmarked by SmokedCashmere
19 Feb 2026
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Summary
“Are you familiar with the concept of a memory palace?”
“Yes, I employ one myself.”
Holmes was buzzing with curiosity. “And where do you keep the monsters? In the basement or in the attic?”
Hannibal smirked. “The kitchen.”
Bookmarked by SmokedCashmere
11 Feb 2026