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Bookmarked by Soundfades
14 Jul 2026
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Teach me to be brave (like you) by tomlisonstyles
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
11 Jul 2026
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Summary
“Okay. Do you… Do you think you can talk to anyone about this? Even if it wasn’t me?” Ilya inquired. He brushed the tip of his nose against Shane’s upper arm and rested his head against it. Obviously Ilya would love it if Shane opened up and talked to him about it but he figured if Shane wouldn’t talk to him maybe he could talk to someone else. Maybe a therapist, or his parents or Rose or… Hayden. As much as Ilya disliked the idea of Shane going to Hayden to talk about his problems instead of him, it was better than to keep it all inside.
Shane shrugged at the idea. “I don’t feel like I could talk to anyone about this…” His eyes were open now and glassy. He swallowed hard as he avoided looking at Ilya.
OR; Shane is hiding something from Ilya... from everyone. And Ilya is worried sick.
Bookmarked by Soundfades
12 Jul 2026
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sweep me up and throw me in the trash by yaya_grey
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
28 May 2026
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Summary
“I love you, Ilya—you know you can tell me anything, right?”
Ilya wasn’t quite yet ready to hold eye contact, so he spoke into the room. “I think I’m getting bad again.”
“Depressive episode?” It was obvious, but Shane always needed to ask specifically.
“Yes.”
Shane braced himself before asking more. “Were you… having dark thoughts? Is that what made you cry?”
“Yes… I’m so sorry.” Admitting it made the tears well up again.
Ilya’s husband squeezed him harder and lightly grabbed a fistful of his hair.
“It’s okay sweetheart, shh. I’m not mad at you, okay? It’s just your brain being mean to you. This isn’t your fault.”------
Ilya is falling into a depressive episode and experiences passive suicidal thoughts. Shane helps him through a difficult moment.
Bookmarked by Soundfades
08 Jul 2026
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i'll be your lighthouse by Teaandbooks_7
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
18 May 2026
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Summary
And wasn’t Ilya a burden?
“You would be better off. Without me,” he said, the words almost lost in his shirt as he dipped his chin. But Shane heard him. He always did.
He jerked upright and turned his body to face Ilya, his hand suddenly gripping his thigh tightly.
“What? Ilya, no. No way. Why would you think that?”
___________________Or: Ilya is very sad and Shane is a very good husband
Bookmarked by Soundfades
01 Jul 2026
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25 days: i messed up this time, late last night by artxsta
Fandoms: Heartstopper (Webcomic), Heartstopper (TV)
22 Jun 2026
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Summary
Scene exploration/extension of Heartstopper 8-22/23. Charlie helping a very ill, very drunk Nick once they get home from the Green Dragon pub. Nick's issues come to the surface, and Charlie is confused, hurt, and bewildered by the turn the night has taken. Hurt/comfort, there's a special place in hell for Stephane, you know the deal.
Bookmarked by Soundfades
30 Jun 2026
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Growing Sideways by BriefExhalation
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
14 Jul 2026
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Summary
“Is just the new routine, okay?” Ilya pleaded, his voice breaking. “The pills were working and now there is more stress so I just need to get used to it and will be fixed, okay?”
“How bad is it?”
“Shane, please.”
“Ilya, you promised no more secrets, no more hiding. How bad?”
He covered his face in his palms, his elbows resting on his knees, and took in a shuddered breath. “...bad.”
OR
After Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander get married, Ilya discovers that his depression won't magically disappear just because he finally has love and a real family. He gets to live and work with Shane full time now that they are on the Centaurs, but it's becomingly increasingly difficult to hide his deteriorating mental health from his husband. He's haunted by dreams of his mother and the fear that his depression and the hockey world's eruption about their relationship is ruining Shane's life. He has to swallow his pride and begin taking SSRIs, navigate the side effects of medicating his depression, and learn to accept love and support from those he loves most. Will the shame eat him alive or can he finally learn that he's worthy of love even at his lowest?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 154,324
- Chapters:
- 27/29
- Comments:
- 864
- Kudos:
- 1,821
- Bookmarks:
- 754
- Hits:
- 93,641
Bookmarked by Soundfades
27 Jun 2026
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Summary
“Nine one one, what is the location of your emergency?”
“Hello, does this record messages?”
“Yes, sir. Is everything okay?”
Ilya thought of his mother. This must have been exactly how his mother had felt years ago. All alone, desperate for peace, and willing to do anything to get the pain to stop. Then it hit him. He had a way to quiet his mind.
OR
Ilya goes through a depressive episode. Will he make it out the other end? (Spoiler alert, he does)
Bookmarked by Soundfades
25 Jun 2026
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i've been seeing ghosts again by Pale_Blue
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
28 Jun 2026
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Summary
Following the move to Ottawa, Ilya is struggling to keep his head above water. The Centaurs seem incapable of winning, his house is still half-unpacked at best, and Shane is two hours away in Montreal. After months of struggling alone, Ilya unexpectedly shows up at the Hollanders’ house one night, terrified of his own thoughts.
In the months that follow, Ilya hits low after low, struggling with his newly-diagnosed depression. David and Yuna do their best to be there for him while distance is still keeping Shane and Ilya apart.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 59,375
- Chapters:
- 48/48
- Comments:
- 794
- Kudos:
- 1,637
- Bookmarks:
- 388
- Hits:
- 65,714
Bookmarked by Soundfades
22 Jun 2026
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just let me know (I'll be at the door) by okstiles
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
22 Jun 2026
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Summary
"Ilya," David grasps his shoulders firmly. "Stop. Look at me."
It's another second until he does, red-rimmed and glassy eyes blinking open, searching David's face carefully, fearfully. It hits David like a gut-punch then, how young Ilya looks in this moment, how small despite his towering, broad frame. How his hands tremble and clench at his sides like a child awaiting punishment. David can only hope that the heartbreak doesn't show on his face.
Or
Shane had called just after midnight. He hadn’t heard from Ilya in two days before suddenly getting a call that, though he won’t explain what it was, terrifies him enough to have him beg David to go check on Ilya at one in the morning.
“I don’t know, dad. I think something is really wrong. Please just go check.”
David doesn’t know what the call contained, or what Shane thinks David will find, but either way he’s here on the gravel driveway in front of the massive, barren house half an hour later. The front door is wide open.
Bookmarked by Soundfades
22 Jun 2026
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Give Yourself A Reason by groundsquirrel
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
17 Jun 2026
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Summary
Ilya Hollander-Rozanov has been receiving mental health treatment for years. He and Shane have a system, have a plan, have a life together. Depression has other plans.
--
or time spent sitting with Ilya's depression and wondering what a bad episode could look like in a life where he has it more under control. stole the title from Call Your Mom by Noah Kahan
(will be updating tags as i go)
Bookmarked by Soundfades
18 Jun 2026
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Unlearned Reflexes by ilyasweed
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
11 Jun 2026
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Summary
A routine family dinner with Shane’s parents is supposed to be a safe haven, but the wires in Ilya's hyper-vigilant mind are already short-circuiting.
When David raises his hand in a fast, playful motion toward Shane, the innocent gesture drags Ilya screaming back to a cramped, terrifying apartment in Moscow.
His oldest survival instinct immediately overrides everything else: protect the person you love.
Dropping to his knees to take a blow that isn't coming, Ilya lays his deepest, most heavily guarded trauma completely bare on the living room floor.
Bookmarked by Soundfades
16 Jun 2026
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there is happiness in our history by DisillusionedDanny
Fandoms: Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
14 Jun 2026
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Summary
Ilya Rozanov makes a difficult decision and decides to go inpatient before he ends up doing something irreversible.
Shane tries to cope in the meantime.
Series
- Part 7 of Dis Writes Heated Rivalry
Bookmarked by Soundfades
14 Jun 2026
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I Wish You Could Know Me by Booklight00
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
24 Jun 2026
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Summary
Shane is panicked and locks himself alone into the bathroom to try and deal with it. Ilya is a good husband about it.
The Ilya is depressed about his bad childhood and misses his mama. Shane is a good husband about it.Bookmarked by Soundfades
14 Jun 2026
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Shatterproof by ilyasweed
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
08 Jun 2026
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Ilya refuses to cancel dinner with Shane's parents, terrified that showing weakness will make them think he is lazy, broken, or a disappointment. But when a severe depressive episode causes his hands to shake, he accidentally drops a crystal water glass.
The sound of the shattering glass triggers a violent childhood trauma, sending Ilya into a full-blown, terrifying panic attack on the dining room floor as he frantically tries to clean up the mess before he gets hit.
Bookmarked by Soundfades
11 Jun 2026
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The bitter cold by TheQueenoftheAbyss
Fandoms: Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
08 Jan 2026
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Summary
Shane Hollander is young, fit and healthy, he works out, he plays hockey, he eats a ridiculously healthy diet.
Shane Hollander dies on the ice at age 30.
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Shane’s body is cold. Ilya’s heart is cold.Bookmarked by Soundfades
09 Jun 2026
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the obedience of fools by affecctaed
Fandoms: Heartstopper (Webcomic), Heartstopper (TV)
08 Jan 2023
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Summary
Charlie’s not the only one who likes control.
(or, Nick has rules. They don’t make sense, but they’re his.)
Series
- Part 1 of nick nelson h/c!
Bookmarked by Soundfades
04 Jun 2026
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Summary
Charlie takes care of Nick when he gets sick and has an emotional breakdown. Secrets are revealed.
I've never posted on ao3 before, so naturally, I thought I'd start by posting something incredibly personal and vulnerable. I love forcing my exact issues on to my favorite characters, what can I say.
tw: vomiting due to panic attack, panic attacks in general, brief discussion of homophobia, brief references to Charlie's ED/mental illness, just lots of crying (please let me know if I should add anything to this list)Bookmarked by Soundfades
29 May 2026
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Summary
Sickfic about Nick and Charlie from Heartstopper, focusing on Nick catching a nasty GI flu and Charlie stepping up to take care of him despite his own struggles.
Series
- Part 18 of heartstopper sickfics
Bookmarked by Soundfades
29 May 2026
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I Hate to be a Buzzkill by mildlymichael
Fandoms: Heartstopper (Webcomic), Heartstopper (TV)
24 Mar 2023
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Summary
“Um, babe?” Charlie asks, picking up the box, “what’s this?”
Nick looks over, and sure enough, Charlie is holding the box that Nick’s vape came in. “Shit,” he whispers, walking over to his boyfriend. He runs his hands through his red hair, “that’s um…my…um…” he stammers, afraid of Charlie’s reaction. “I bought a vape?” It came out more like a question than a statement.
--
or, Nick buys a vape and Charlie tries to find the underlying cause
Bookmarked by Soundfades
28 May 2026
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Went Away by lightinthehallway for TitansTroubadour
Fandoms: Heartstopper (TV), Heartstopper (Webcomic)
02 Apr 2024
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Summary
What Nick wants is for Charlie to ring him up asking to meet someplace where they can apologize to each other and kiss and make up and know each other again. If Charlie could just know what the past year has been like for Nick—could know him and accept him in spite of all of Nick’s absolute bullshit, not just the way things ended but how everything crumbled apart after—
But that’s never going to happen. And if Nick can’t have it on his terms, well, it would be safer not to have it at all.
But he’s getting ahead of himself here. Let’s back up.
You’ve seen this story before: the boys stay broken up at the end of the Nick and Charlie novella, then meet again after some time apart. But here’s the twist: during the year in between, Nick’s whole life falls apart, and he’s diagnosed with bipolar disorder. When he finally comes face-to-face with the person whose loss triggered Nick’s breakdown—well, you’ll see.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21,880
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 205
- Kudos:
- 378
- Bookmarks:
- 78
- Hits:
- 7,212
Bookmarked by Soundfades
27 May 2026