Splurcle



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    “I don’t care that he’s gay!” Hayden says. Shane turns finally, locking eyes with Hayden, searching for any truth in that statement. Because there’s a difference between knowing theoretically that you share a locker room with a gay guy and seeing him ride a dick like it’s his life’s purpose. “I don’t. You know that. I just…him?”

    “Yes,” Shane says softly. “Him.”

    Hayden lets out a guttural groan. “Jesus, man. You couldn’t at least top him?”

    Or: 6 times Shane and Ilya get walked in on, +1 time they walk in on someone else

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    20 Jun 2026

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    Hayden watches Shane, almost expecting him to go, "wow, I was hacked while we were at practice, look at these weird messages!". But no such luck. Shane smiles.

    A real smile, a big one, his text from Lily smile. God, Hayden was so sure they were sending each other endless strings of heart emojis and "I miss you more" "no, I miss you more"s, not…that. Never in a million years would he have guessed that.

    Or: 5 times someone's shocked to learn that Shane's a little freaky, +1 time someone isn't

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    14 Jun 2026

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    In which the Raiders try to convince (okay, bribe) Shane Hollander to wife Ilya Rozanov the fuck up.

    The Raiders learn about Hollanov in a different way. Shane is very confused. Ilya loves his team. I regret nothing.

    (This takes place a few months before the great tuna melt fiasco.)

    Some sex talk but mostly a lot of swearing. Also not related to my other fics really but some of the character portrayals, especially the Boston Raiders being all good guys, is in my other work too.

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    28 May 2026

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    Ilya has always known Shane could do better than him. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that he’s finally found it.

    Found someone else.

    Because that’s what this is, isn’t it?

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    25 May 2026

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    “And you’re sure there’s nothing for you?” David says suddenly. “You’re not—you’re feeling okay? You’re not sick? Shane wouldn’t have any reason to think that you’re sick?”

    Ilya blinks and turns to him. “I am fine. Totally fine. Better than fine, even, before today.”

    “It’s just—Shane’s acting like you’re dying, Ilya.”

    “Not as far as I’m aware,” says Ilya. “And I do not think he would learn this before me.”

    The summer before Ilya joins the Centaurs, Shane wakes up nervous. It doesn't stop from there.

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    20 May 2026