TheFarseeker



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    “—okay, that’s unusual,” the first commentator’s voice is saying over the footage. “Hm. Ladies and gentlemen, it seems that, thanks to some last-minute additions to the broadcast, we’ll be able to get an audio feed straight from the arena today!” 

    Ilya frowns. Who the fuck was stupid enough to get mic’d for this fucking game? Some idiot rookie from Toronto, probably. They really don’t teach kids how to handle anything these days. 

    “That’s right!” The second announcer pipes up with an annoyingly fake cheery voice. Ilya immediately wants to send a puck straight into his windpipe. “We just got confirmation that Captain Shane Hollander himself will be wearing a microphone during tonight’s game.” 

    Ilya sits up and spins to face the TV screen fast enough to give a lesser man whiplash.

    Shane doesn’t get injured when Ilya comes back from Russia in 2017, so Ilya follows through on his plan to end things between them. A year later, despite being miserable, he still believes he did the right thing for both of them.
    Except the Voyageurs have been acting weird around Hollander lately. And wait, what do you mean he’s mic’d for this game?

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    10 Jul 2026

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    Several MLH players have their phones hacked.

    Most people find embarrassing photos.

    Ilya Rozanov accidentally leaks five years' worth of sex reviews.

    -

    You know that TikTok trend where people rate how good the sex was in front of their partner?

    Yeah. It's that.

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    06 Jul 2026

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    Hayden stares, the sight in front of him not quite computing.

    There is the couch. There is Shane on the couch. There is Shane on the couch, sleeping on his back with one arm wrapped securely around the waist of another person sleeping on top of him. The waist of another man sleeping on top of him.

    A man.

    As in, not Boston Lily.

    As in, not a woman at all.
    -
    Or, a prank goes awry and Hollanov is outed even earlier. At least everyone can agree that it’s still entirely Hayden Pike’s fault.

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    03 Jul 2026

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    Léa Martin @MrsLéaMartin92
    Shane Hollander is TAKEN !?

    Clara @mrsshanehollander4ever
    Shane Hollander has a BABY????

    Léonie @LeonieGagnon27328
    Is this officially the NHL’s cutest baby?

    Lily @BostonLily1991
    DOES THE BABY HAVE FRECKLES?

    Charlotte @charlottefromquébec
    Replying to @BostonLily1991
    what?

    One month before the tuna melt incident, pictures are posted online of Shane and Hayden’s outing to the aquarium.

    Within minutes, the internet is convinced that Shane Hollander has become a father, and people everywhere are mourning the fact that the NHL’s most eligible bachelor is off the market.

    “People everywhere” includes Ilya Rozanov.

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    02 Jul 2026

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    “Uh,” he says, looking up from his screen and feeling his ears go hot, realizing for the first time that this habit of his hasn’t actually come up before until this exact moment.

    “What?” Rozanov asks, sounding more amused than anything else. “You are one of the people who does Instagram for food now?”

    “No,” Shane says, stalling between answering and finishing his Snap so he can send it to Melissa, “one sec.” He finishes typing out 'Tuna melt. Chips. Pickles. It smells really good. Swiss cheese, I think.' before he looks back to Rozanov, putting his phone facedown on the coffee table. “Just sending it to someone on the staff. She likes knowing what I’m eating.”

    He doesn’t know if Melissa likes knowing what he’s eating, per se, but she also seems pleased when he talks about enjoying food for things beyond how many grams of protein it has in it.

    “Ah,” Rozanov says, in a tone Shane can’t quite read. “You always send her your food then, this girl?”

    (shane has a habit of sending his team's dietician his meals for approval) (the problem with this habit? he forgets to tell ilya exactly what it is that melissa does) (how the tuna meltdown is AVERTED through the power of miscommunication)

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    01 Jul 2026