Timetosuitup
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- Teen Wolf (TV) (2)
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Summary
“You,” Scott pointed a finger at Derek, who raised his eyebrows in return. “Are not pulling people out of class to play hooky with you anymore. Got it?”
The one where the pack is supposed to be in class, Derek is bored, and he knows everyone's weaknesses.
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Summary
“So I was reading this insanely amazing fic on AO3, and I guess it nailed the characterizations so hard that it actually summoned you guys.”
It’s 3 am, and the fanfic-reader tries to explain the bizarre situation currently at hand, excited and a little out of breath, as they gesture wildly between the laptop open on their desk and the pair standing perplexed in front of it. “Ain’t that the wildest fucking shit.”
Derek Hale and Stiles Stilinski look at each other and then at the stranger in front of them, expressions blank.
“Fic?”
“AO3?”
They ask at the same time.
The reader bites the inside of their cheek to keep from bursting into laughter like a maniac, because the whole thing is incredibly absurd – impossible even – but also fucking hilarious.
“Yeah. I think it’s best if you don’t worry about that part.”
Or: The one where the AO3 maintenance in January 2026 led to a rift in the multiverse...?
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“He’s not my boyfriend, Stiles. He’s a man from a club. I couldn’t call him, if I wanted to.”
Podfic of The Mending That You Need by torakowalski.
Fic length: 3k
Podfic length: 23 minutes
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Stiles is away at college, he has a loft bed. It's, like, two feet away from the ceiling, and it's trying to cockblock him, or kill him. He's not sure which.
OR: Five times Stiles is cockblocked by his bed. One time he and Derek manage to get it on anyway.
Podfic of It's Only A Flesh Wound! by yodasyoyo.
Fic length: under 1k
Podfic length: 7 minutes
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Summary
“Three weeks,” Derek says.
“Still don’t want to,” Stiles says.
“I’ll pay you,” Derek says, and that… that has Stiles interested. Alf’s Antique’s may be a great job, but it’s not a high-paying job, and half of Stiles’s tuition is coming from financial aid, so…
“How much,” Stiles asks, “are we talking here? Because I know your family, dude. And it’ll be kind of awkward after.“
“My family thinks you’re some sort of fucking gift to the world,” Derek seethes, like he’s jealous, “they’ll probably be pissed at me when we break it off, so don’t worry about that. Five hundred bucks.”
“A thousand,” Stiles says, because screw ethics. Also, the Hale family is loaded. Derek can deal.
Podfic of Gravity's Got Nothing on You by zosofi.
Fic length: 83k
Podfic length: 8 hrs 15mins
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Summary
It was supposed to be a nice day at an amusement park.
“Peter, can you come to Finstock’s? I need help with– I can’t even with this shit right now.”
“Is that screaming I hear?”
“Just,” Laura watched as Derek closed in on Fluffyballs, the Finstock’s FunStockyards’ mascot, who was screaming murder, literally, and moving surprisingly fast, now that the bottom of the suit had torn and the kid had full use of his legs, ”just come. And don’t tell mom.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it.”---
In case you're wondering, it's Stiles in the suit.
Podfic of Finstock's FunStockyards by toiletwithaview.
Fic length: 7.8k
Podfic length: 0:46:47
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Summary
Stiles forgets his room key a lot, and Derek lives right down the hall. Unfortunately, they may or may not have met before, and Stiles may or may not have forgotten the entire thing due to alcohol and poor life decisions (but mostly alcohol)
Podfic of (I forgot) the key to your heart by lazarusthefirst.
Fic length: 15k
Podfic length: 1:31:24