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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane has been hiding his designation for his entire NHL career. It's been hard, but its been worth it.

    Then a single moment makes everything come tumbling down.

    Language:
    English
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    Chapters:
    13/13
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    24 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane: Hello?
    Unknown Caller: Is this bird professor?
    Shane: …uh yes?
    Unknown Caller: Cool. Do humming birds have legs?
    Shane: What?
    Unknown Caller: Do humming birds—
    Shane: No, I heard you. Yes they have legs.
    Unknown Caller: [loud cheering in the background] I win! Thank you bird professor.
    Shane: …uh you're welcome?
    Unknown Caller: Goodbye.

    Language:
    English
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    3,418
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    1/1
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    23 Jun 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    The precise intersection of my autisms. Didn’t think it was possible.

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    And yeah, Shane knew that Ilya hadn’t been okay last time he was in Russia, but Ilya had had the very real excuse of a funeral to blame things on. Ilya had downplayed it as much as he could, and Shane hadn’t been there, he’d heard the fatigue and he’d seen Ilya’s tired smile, but he hadn’t felt the way Ilya’s hands were cold the entire time he was there, hadn’t seen through the screen the way Ilya dropped eight pounds in three weeks, hadn’t kept time when there were twenty hours in Ilya’s day instead of something closer to sixteen. Or, on the flip side, for the week or two after, when there had been approximately ten conscious hours in a day.

    It was one thing to see something. It was another to feel it in your hands.

    Ilya and Shane are so, so happy for their first year married. They’re playing in Ottawa together, they’re fucking winning, they’re together and out.

    So now, after a year, Ilya should be fine. He should be great. He should not be flinching at small noises or nearly punching people off the clock or feeling like he’s drowning whenever he’s not on the ice.

    Or: Ilya Rozanov, meet your PTSD.

    Language:
    English
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    50,093
    Chapters:
    11/11
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    09 Jun 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    I’M NOT READY FOR THIS TO BE OVER. This is my reminder to come back and reread the hell out of this… I’m gonna miss waiting for updates 😭

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane should be here right now, should be in Ilya’s house. Ilya should be teasing him about being picky while going through delivery options for food on his phone. Shane should be discovering that Ilya has ginger ale in the fridge and the protein bars Shane mentioned liking in an interview in his pantry. He should be making out with Shane on the couch, sneaking a hand into his pants, teasing him about whether they can beat the deliveryman and arrive before he does. Shane was supposed to spend the night tonight, the Montreal team not set to leave until tomorrow afternoon because of potential bad weather in the morning. Shane should be fed and showered and ready to curl up in bed with Ilya tonight.
    But Shane is in a hospital.

    And Ilya is here.

    He pulls up Jane in his phone again. He presses call.

    “Hey, you’ve reached Shane Hollander-”

    Ilya closes his eyes and lets Shane’s voice roll over him.

    (canon divergence in which shane getting injured happens during a game in boston) (...which means shane then gets to go home with ilya to recover)

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    2/2
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    22 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    “You shouldn’t have to take care of me,” Shane said, voice muffled against Ilya’s shirt.

    Something cracked open inside Ilya, an overwhelming need to hold Shane as close as he could and protect him from whatever in the world had made him feel unworthy of care. Shane always took care of people. He carried his team to every victory they claimed, giving so much more than he got in return, and wore the heavy mantle of the Metros’ expectations alone. But it wasn’t just his team. When Ilya’s English failed him, Shane stepped in front of the microphone. When Ilya’s composure failed him, he was a comfort. Even when Shane did not know he was holding Ilya together, the force of his presence was so much more than Ilya knew how to deserve.

    Now it was Ilya’s turn. “Let me,” he said into Shane’s hair. “I do not mind.”

    --

    OR: Before Shane can leave post tuna melt, he has a panic attack. Ilya calms him down.

    Language:
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    21 Jun 2026