TurnSpitDog
Fandoms
Recent works
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Six Thousand Years of Song by TurnSpitDog
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
26 Dec 2025
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Summary
As Crowley sat on the sofa, watching Aziraphale position the needle over a record and eat a slice of Camembert directly off the cheese knife, something stirred in his brain. "It might be a love song."
"Well, that barely narrows it down. What kind of love song?"
(Crowley tries to extract a song from the murky depths of his memory, with Aziraphale’s help.)
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Summary
After human civilization expanded into the stars, Aziraphale’s work took him light years away from Earth. En route to a new assignment, he makes a brief stop to see an old friend.
It’s been a long time since Aziraphale has seen Crowley. It’s been even longer since he’s seen Earth.
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Heaven is cracking down on expenditures and Aziraphale can no longer keep himself in the style to which he’s accustomed. Crowley isn’t having it.
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They had both broken the rules over the years, but only the written ones. Never the important ones. Crowley had thought the angel understood. He’d thought Aziraphale was, if nothing else, savvy.
That was what this whole thing was built on, that they were both practical. If one of them stopped being practical, it all fell apart.
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NOW IT IS TIME FOR QUESTIONS FROM OUR LISTENERS. TODAY WE HAVE A QUESTION FROM BYLETH, COMMANDER OF THE MEPHITIC LEGIONS. OH, IT’S A QUESTION FOR THE ANGEL.
Crowley’s hands clenched on the steering wheel.
BYLETH, COMMANDER OF THE MEPHITIC LEGIONS, WRITES, “CROWLEY IS A CRAVEN TRAITOR SO WE UNDERSTAND WHY HE ASSOCIATES WITH AN ANGEL. BUT WHAT’S IN IT FOR THE ANGEL? WHAT IS HE GETTING OUT OF THIS?”
“That’s a good question,” said Aziraphale.
Crowley glared at him. “No, it isn’t.”
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Cut off from access to Earth, the hosts of Hell find other ways to torment Crowley. Aziraphale provides a refuge.
Recent bookmarks
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Absolute Beginners by orphan_account for shiorival
Fandoms: Archie Comics, Archie Comics & Related Fandoms
14 Dec 2014
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Summary
“Do you ever feel like you peaked in high school?” asked Reggie.
“No,” said Jughead, without looking up from his textbook.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,191
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 55
- Kudos:
- 670
- Bookmarks:
- 119
- Hits:
- 6,146
Bookmarked by TurnSpitDog
16 Jun 2026
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we have a secret (just we three) by WyvernQuill for SpaceCiabatta
Fandoms: My Fair Lady (1964)
27 Sep 2025
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Summary
“Oh?” Pickering shook out his newspaper, folded it, and turned more fully towards Higgins. “What does he do then, this fellow that piqued your interest?”
“He,” declared Higgins with unabashed glee, “intends to blackmail us!”Pickering dropped the newspaper.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,050
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 14
- Kudos:
- 39
- Bookmarks:
- 3
- Hits:
- 190
Bookmarked by TurnSpitDog
27 Apr 2026
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heartfelt and freaky alien commitment rituals by suitablyskippy for spacegothprincess
Fandoms: Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
18 Dec 2020
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Summary
“Wow,” said the information desk attendant, sincerely. “Wow, yeah, that was so completely inspirational and cool, like, seriously. I can’t even explain how much I enjoyed the experience of listening to you share your feelings while I looked up the appropriate party events timetable to meet your needs and suit your desires, like, wow. Would you like the schedule formatted for neural net download or upload to your techno-reader?”
“Could you just print it?” asked Arthur.
(The highest and most mysterious level of Kathtyx 21-C's legendary hierarchical party culture is only for lifeforms who can prove the extraordinary length and strength of their relationship. For the sake of a party, Ford and Arthur are ready to fake it till they make it.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,476
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 45
- Kudos:
- 496
- Bookmarks:
- 94
- Hits:
- 3,689
Bookmarked by TurnSpitDog
01 Nov 2025
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The Stairs Beneath the Heart by hermitknut
Fandoms: The Goblin Emperor - Katherine Addison
08 Dec 2020
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Summary
The reign of Varenechibal IV is over; the reign of Edrehasivar VII has begun. The transition, however, is anything but smooth, as the Alcethmeret household navigates grief and worry as well as adapting to the new emperor.
A series of missing scenes and unseen moments centering around the Alcethmeret household over the course of the first few months of Maia's reign.
Series
- Part 1 of Keystone
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 50,487
- Chapters:
- 28/28
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 1,864
- Kudos:
- 1,512
- Bookmarks:
- 316
- Hits:
- 26,460
Bookmarked by TurnSpitDog
26 Jun 2024
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Summary
You wake up with no idea where you are, or who you are.
You wake up with no idea where you are, or who you are.
You wake up...
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,625
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 469
- Kudos:
- 2,470
- Bookmarks:
- 657
- Hits:
- 12,239
Bookmarked by TurnSpitDog
03 Jul 2024
Bookmarker's Notes
Still hits no matter how many times I reread it. One of the greats