Yumitheboring



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    when a locker room video accidentally shows shane hollander's phone as he's texting after a game, it doesn't take long before someone has zoomed in to find out exactly what and who he was texting and even less time before everyone is outraged that shane hollander is a misogynist. because what's okay to send to ilya rozanov isn't exactly okay to send to some girl named lily

    aka your classic twitter misunderstanding social media fic

    Language:
    English
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    3/4
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    16 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    You
    I really was looking forward to seeing you after the game
    I’m as sad at missing that
    As I am sad at missing the playoffs.

    Lily
    so am I
    fuck Marlow

    You
    Aww, he’s not your favorite anymore?

    Lily
    LEAST favorite now 😤

    You
    I mean at least he feels bad. I believe him when he says he didn’t mean to hurt me.

    Lily
    so do I
    I just don’t care
    he still DID hurt you
    he should watch where he’s going

    You
    😂
    So you’re not going to get custom Bears lingerie with a 7 on it, then?

    Lily
    no
    I’ll get one for every other number on the team though 😘

    You
    That’s an awful lot of money to spend on kindling.

    Leaked texts from Shane Hollander’s phone out him…as dating a Cliff Marleau fangirl.

    No one is really sure what to do about this — least of all, Cliff Marleau.

    Language:
    English
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    5,314
    Chapters:
    1/?
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    15 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Today 3:57 PM

    Jane: Hey so. I need you to sext me like a girl

    Today 10:18 PM

    Lily: what

    Or, Shane Hollander becomes Captain of the Metros, Ilya officially hates Hayden Pike, and there’s a new “girl” coming to the Montreal Met-Hoes chat.

    Language:
    English
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    19,954
    Chapters:
    37/?
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    15 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Maybe if the video ended there, Shane thought, it would be okay. Okayish. Still incriminating. Still a fucking disaster. Still embarrassing, to have his breakup with this beautiful actress filmed and disseminated on Reddit of all fucking places, but not a nail in his coffin, burying him alive. But the video didn’t end there.

    “Can I ask if you’ve ever been with another guy?” she had to ask.

    And he, tears visible in his eyes, had to nod.

    Just once. Just a single nod.

    Why did he have to nod?

    “Have you ever told anyone that before?” He shook his head. “Was it different? With a guy?”

    “Of course.”

    Of course.

    “Was it better?”

    “Yes.”

    +++

    Shane’s conversation with Rose is secretly recorded. Months later, after the All-Star game and Ilya’s confession in Russian, the video gets leaked online. Shane is outed to the world while Ilya is in Russia, and must now finish the 2016-2017 season with the entire world in on his secret.

    Series
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    English
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    26,824
    Chapters:
    1/1
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    13 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya still loves a terrible decision. Nearly ten years of exposure to Shane just mean that now, the terrible decision comes with a plan. This time it comes with bullet pointed lists, research. Fresh ideas scribbled late at night and stuck, one over the other, onto the fridge door.

    This crucial, terrible decision comes with deliberation and forethought and a twelve-step fucking plan.

    A plan that starts with ‘attend every game he can between the women’s league’s rivals-turned-wives Clara and Katya’ and ends with ‘kiss Shane on the mouth at center ice.’

    Because Icarus has nothing on Ilya fucking Rozanov. The internet is not ready. Yuna is going to have his head for this. Step one begins on Friday. He cannot fucking wait.

    --

    Half Ilya Rozanov POV and half social media fic tracking the chaos, managed and otherwise, that is unleashed as Ilya enacts his plan.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,896
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
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    10 Jun 2026