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    “Are you making latkes?” Dipper asks. He stands on his tiptoes to look over the pan of oil, which has a few latkes sizzling away in it. Stan has to slap Mabel’s hand away from the plate full of cooling latkes.

    “Hey! They’re not done yet, back off!” he barks.

    Or, in which it is Christmakkuh, Stan is long-suffering, Ford is not doing too well, and everyone else is just excited to eat fried food and put up the Christmas lights. A few bad memories surface, but family bonding prevails.

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    19 Jun 2026

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    No serious hockey fan or sports commentator worth their salt would have considered record-breaking Boston superstar Ilya Rozanov to be Shane Hollander’s rival exactly, but sleeping with a man who had a specific offense-related vendetta against him and a wrist shot like a jet engine to back it up was probably ill-advised just the same.

    Or, Shane is a goalie. Ilya can’t score.

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    18/18
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    15 Jun 2026

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    They’d agreed on a plan. It was cautious. Designed to keep them safe. Laying the foundation for a future after hockey. It didn’t include Shane going nuclear one fucking day into pre-season, blowing up his entire life on something he should’ve expected to happen if he was being honest with himself.

    Or, when the long game falls apart, Shane and Ilya need a new plan. (Or or, from the ten year plan to the one week speed-run.)

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    12 Jun 2026

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    “I was thinking about the honeymoon phase thing.”
    “Yes?” Ilya said.
    “I think it’s different for us. I don’t want us to be all blissful and then only start fighting when we’re back to barely seeing each other. I think it’s good if we figure things out now, when we have the time. Whatever needs figuring out. So we have a solid foundation going into the season. Sort of like training camp.”
    “So this means you will keep getting mad at me for things,” Ilya said.
    Shane smiled, rolled his eyes. “Yeah, exactly,” he said.
    “Good, I find it very hot,” Ilya said, and kissed him.

    An insecure over-thinker and a self-destructive thrill-seeker walk into a relationship.

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    10 Jun 2026

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    Shrugging one shoulder far more casually than he possibly feels, Ilya says, “I like both. Is secret, okay?”

    “Okay,” Hollander says, voice cracking.

    He doesn’t say anything else. The air’s so heavy around them that it feels like being in the middle of a scrum, the weight and heat of all those bodies pressing down on you. Danger always feels like hockey; it’s the most dangerous thing Ilya knows, except for this. Everything dangerous in his life involves men’s bodies and just how close he can get to them. Closer than he probably should.

    A year after mysteriously dropping out of the 2009 draft, Shane Hollander is signed by the Boston Raiders, right behind Ilya Rozanov. Having the two biggest stars in the league on the same line is great for Boston — but playing alongside their worst rival was never exactly in Shane or Ilya's plans. Especially not when staying away from each other starts to feel just as impossible as getting along.

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    08 Jun 2026