adoremelarry



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    “Sweetheart, your pretty little head is so silly. For every photocard I make of ugly hockey men, I make two of my gorgeous, radiant, pulchritudinous boyfriend. Sometimes three.”

    A smile breaks through the heated haze of Shane’s expression. “You’ve been using the thesaurus Dad got you for Christmas?”

    “I will beat Yuna Hollander at Scrabble one day,” Ilya declares against Shane’s hip bone.

    In the year between the Cottage and the Centaurs, Ilya misses Shane more than ever. Svetlana’s teenage cousin offers a coping method: Kpop-style Shane Hollander photocards to stare at all day long. It's a shame carrying around pictures of fellow hockey players is just not socially acceptable.

    …At least, not yet.
     
    (AKA: Ilya's mission to desensitize the hockey world to his Hollander fanboyisms, and the NHL players that suffer for it.)

    Language:
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    06 Jul 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Several MLH players have their phones hacked.

    Most people find embarrassing photos.

    Ilya Rozanov accidentally leaks five years' worth of sex reviews.

    -

    You know that TikTok trend where people rate how good the sex was in front of their partner?

    Yeah. It's that.

    Series
    Language:
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    Words:
    4,853
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    Comments:
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    06 Jul 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    After Shane comes out, the Metros become convinced he might be attracted to them.

    Shane corrects this assumption with devastating precision, accidentally describes Ilya Rozanov in the process, and somehow turns the entire locker room into a deranged pageant of heterosexual insecurity.

    Edit: Additional content added 27/06/2026 in relation to future fic "The Benchmark" 😈

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,422
    Chapters:
    2/2
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    05 Jul 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    After SunShane SPF50 leaves him with the worst breakout, Ilya does what any reasonable person would do: he leaves a one-star Amazon review and a complaint on Reddit demanding a refund. However, instead of a refund, he gets a reply back from the company's polite and handsome CEO Shane.

    Or: One angry Reddit post leads to Instagram stalking, horny DMs, getting stuck in a one-bed hotel room, and an Italian wedding.

    Language:
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    3,221
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    02 Jul 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    "You suck shit at seducing targets," Ilya grits his teeth. "Remember Prichard's daughter?"

    Shane throws his hands up. "Oh come on! That was a long time ago."

    "Two weeks ago," Ilya fires back. "If fate of communism rests on you getting someone into bed we would all be dead."

    Or: hollanov spy!AU, where sexpot extraordinaire Ilya Rozanov and lethal intelligence officer Shane Hollander have to pose as normal, American college students by day and overthrow the U.S. government by night.

    Language:
    English
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    02 Jul 2026