ashtrays



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  1. Public Bookmark *

    Summary

    For over fifteen years, a strict performance diet has worked for Shane. It lets him play hockey - really good hockey - and it lets him control something in his life, which usually feels so out of his control.

    After a season-ending injury takes Shane off the ice, though, the people he loves start to suspect something might be wrong.

    OR

    Rachel Reid said she didn't think Shane has an eating disorder, and we took that personally.

    Words:
    54,122
    Works:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    343

    10 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Seven scandals in the life of Ilya Rozanov.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,245
    Chapters:
    1/1
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    1
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    28 May 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    "Fucking moron." Cliff mutters. "Who doesn't like eating pussy? Well. I mean." He darts a glance out of the corner of his eye.
    Rozanov chuckles into the mouth of his beer. "Marley, you know how much pussy I've eaten?"
    "I just meant--I wasn't trying to be insensitive. I know Hollander's gay."
    "Mm. True, Shane would cry." He tilts his beer into his mouth then, so Cliff almost doesn't hear him say, "Different for him with cock, though."
    Cliff laughs. "You're a fuckin' dog, Rozy."
    "Whaaat? I'm just saying, my husband? Fucking lo-o-ves to suck cock. Loves it."

    Cliff is just trying to be a good friend. He's not realizing anything about himself at all.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,825
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    267
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    25 May 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

    Words:
    107,082
    Works:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    207

    24 May 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Shane is in the front pew. His face is—Ilya does not have words for what Shane's face is doing. He has seen Shane angry and afraid and exhausted and soft and undone. He has never seen this: living at the very bottom of a person, surfacing only when every single thing above it has given way.

    This is what it looks like when Shane has nothing left to manage.

    Ilya reaches for him.

    His hand passes through air.

    -

    Or: Ilya Rozanov turns the same age his mother was when she died. Featuring strange dreams, tarot readings, and a woman with her back to him who keeps appearing where she shouldn’t.

    A man who spent twenty years preparing to die, and one husband who refuses to let him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    36,210
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
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    23 May 2026