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“Please don’t burn down my balcony,” Robert mutters. “It’s the only reason I rented this place.”
“So you could drink away your sorrows and topple over the railing like a sad frat boy at his first party?” Flambae retorts. “If you really wanted that experience, I could’ve dragged your sorry ass to the clubs. Or thrown you over myself.”
~
Robert has a bad night and intends to drink his thoughts and feelings away. Unlucky (or lucky) for him, Flambae stops by to check in on him.
[Title taken from "Weapon" by The Boxer Rebellion!]
Bookmarked by azixcel
08 Jul 2026
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Flambae still has his monthly anger spikes. Everyone expects the usual: Robert getting decked. But this time? He hesitates.
Instead of punching Robert… he awkwardly pats his head.
Bookmarked by azixcel
07 Jul 2026
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“We think it’s a Soulmate Eater,” Blazer explained to him, the moment he sat down.
“I'm sorry… a what-the-fuck-now?”
“Yeah, that was me, about five days ago,” she sighed, rubbing her shoulder unconsciously, where Robert assumed her mark must be, underneath the purple sweater she was wearing. “But... they’re a thing, apparently! There’s been twelve of them, in recorded supervillain history."
--
A new supervillain is terrorising the city, draining people's soulmate connections and leaving them catatonic, in order to fuel some kind of unknown plot.
But that's totally ok, because Robert Robertson doesn't actually have a soulmate... or so he thinks.
Series
- Part 2 of fuck it! dispatch fic collection
Bookmarked by azixcel
06 Jul 2026
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Robert Robertson is the most infuriating man Flambae has ever met. Even more so since he revealed that he is, in fact, Mechaman.
However, somewhere between beating Shroud and returning to work, Flambae gradually begins to realize that maybe there was more to Robert than just the blind hatred he'd held onto for so long.
Between not-dates and vet visits, Flambae's feelings slowly begin to shift, from irritation to something that feels a lot like heart-palpatations.
Or: 5 times Flambae fails to kick Robert's ass, and the one time he actually does
Bookmarked by azixcel
06 Jul 2026
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“Gavin!”
GV200 slipped out of his stasis. He didn’t get a chance to open his eyes before a file came down on his face, smacking him.
“And here I thought tin cans didn’t sleep.”
Something was wrong.
Something was very very wrong.
Bookmarked by azixcel
05 Jul 2026
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First impressions are often entirely wrong by ImogenGotDrunk
Fandoms: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
01 Mar 2019
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It's common knowledge that they didn’t get off to the best start.
But a year on, R.K realises that Connor and Detective Reed might have the most steadfast friendship in the precinct.
Series
- Part 9 of Fuck pride timestamps
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,500
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 71
- Kudos:
- 2,175
- Bookmarks:
- 185
- Hits:
- 15,442
Bookmarked by azixcel
05 Jul 2026
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noli aquilam volare docere by velkhar, WTF Detroit Universe 2024 (Detroit_Universe)
Fandoms: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
16 Feb 2024
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Андроиды доказали всему миру, что они живые, когда Маркус ебнулся на колени посреди Харт-плаза, и у него из спины выросли крылья. Теперь с девиантами носятся, как с живыми, разговаривают, как с живыми, и убивают, как живых.
А с Коннором что-то происходит, и Гэвину кажется, что он единственный в департаменте, кому есть до этого дело.- Language:
- Русский
- Words:
- 23,200
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 10
- Kudos:
- 133
- Bookmarks:
- 18
- Hits:
- 1,219
Bookmarked by azixcel
04 Jul 2026
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Три сигареты by wicked_well, WTF Detroit Universe 2024 (Detroit_Universe)
Fandoms: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
18 Feb 2024
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Чтобы поработать под прикрытием вместе с Ричардом, Гэвин бросает курить. У него есть три дня и три сигареты.
Series
- Part 15 of Зимний Детройт 24 - Тексты M-E
- Language:
- Русский
- Words:
- 26,293
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 10
- Kudos:
- 117
- Bookmarks:
- 10
- Hits:
- 1,237
Bookmarked by azixcel
04 Jul 2026
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ZombieSheep: A Wiegraf/Zalbag Shipping Manifesto by CorpseBrigadier for fencesit
Fandoms: Final Fantasy Tactics
30 Oct 2019
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An extended discussion as to why two blobby pixel men from a 20+ year old JRPG should hook up despite never explicitly meeting one another.
Series
- Part 1 of Ship Manifestos
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I can fix him. No, not like that. Like, legally. by readingwritingsucessingwinning
Fandoms: Dispatch (Video Game)
15 Feb 2026
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Local fire idiot falls in love with sad lactose-intolerant man in the frozen foods aisle at 3AM, marries him in Vegas eight months later, and then has to join a superhero rehabilitation program just so he can legally serve as his husband's caseworker when the aforementioned sad lactose-intolerant man inevitably gets caught committing performative felonies while completely powerless and barefoot on a rainy rooftop. SDN HR representative M. Kowalski did not sign up for this, but frankly, the paperwork is already filed and she's too tired to argue (featuring: forty-seven stolen porcelain dolls, one very judgmental dog, an Elvis impersonator who cried during the vows, and the worst meet-cute in supervillain history).
Bookmarked by azixcel
03 Jul 2026
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“Bob-Bob, we have a problem.”
Robert adjusted his reading glasses on the bridge of his nose, and clicked immediately through to the 1-to-1 window on his Dispatch screen, ready and on hand. “I’m on deck. What’s happening, Bae?”
“Well, there’s really no easy way to say this, but… I’m irresistible.”
--
In combat, Flambae gets hit by a spell that makes everyone fall in love with him. Luckily, one specific person seems to be immune.
Series
- Part 3 of fuck it! dispatch fic collection
Bookmarked by azixcel
03 Jul 2026
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If he had to describe himself, Flambae would need three words, and three words alone:
Hot, strong, heroic. Two of these were objective.
If he had to tell the truth?
Chad exists in pieces. Most of them not good. But trying their best not to be worse.
They certainly wouldn’t be good enough for Mecha Man.
Which makes every news outlet in Torrance deciding he and Robert must be fucking all that more confusing.
Or,
Everyone in Torrance thinks Flambae and Mecha Man are dating. Robert has no issues with that.
Bookmarked by azixcel
03 Jul 2026
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Delita bleeds to death.
Bookmarked by azixcel
02 Jul 2026
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Ramza does not come back.
Bookmarked by azixcel
02 Jul 2026
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Hero's Journey by Goldenrayofsunshine
Fandoms: Dream SMP, Video Blogging RPF, Minecraft (Video Game)
28 Feb 2021
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Phil pours water into his instant ramen cup and slides it into the microwave. Two minutes later, he pops the door open with a ding.
“The victorious warrior prepares a feast of forty oxen,” comes a small voice from behind him, and Phil jumps out of his skin and splashes boiling water on his hands.
“How the fuck did you get into my house?” The little piglin stands in the middle of his kitchen, tracking red dust into the tile.
***
Twenty-something trying to get his life together and the echolalic hell-piglet that thinks he's the best, greatest, bravest man in the whole world.
My twist on "Philza rescues baby Techno from the nether."
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,911
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 208
- Kudos:
- 1,572
- Bookmarks:
- 216
- Hits:
- 10,652
Bookmarked by azixcel
25 Jun 2026
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Malicious Marriage Compliance by KryOnBlocks (Kryon) for antimony_medusa
Fandoms: SMPEarth
11 Oct 2023
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“So… If two leaders of separate planets are married… they can continue to trade between them if they get hit by the trade ban…”
“I mean,” Phil shrugged, “That’s the gist of it, yeah.”
Techno nodded absently, leaning forward in his desk, elbows resting on the wood and head setting over his hands.
“Tell me, Phil,” Techno says, “How do you feel about getting married?”
After the Saint-Malo trials, the Antarctic Empire is disbanded. Techno and Phil are left unable to trade between their planets as punishment, however, Techno may have an idea as to how to solve this problem.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,942
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 31
- Kudos:
- 189
- Bookmarks:
- 44
- Hits:
- 918
Bookmarked by azixcel
24 Jun 2026
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There was another pulse of white light, and eight Phils appeared on the dias next to him, armour and weapons missing.
“Uh,” the wizard said, staring at them. The Phils stared back. At the front of the dais, one of the figures started examining his hands, flexing taloned fingers at himself.
“That is to say!” Dante recovered, throwing an arm out in the direction of the figures and glaring at Techno. “My cunning trap has copied your pathetic little friend eight times! Which of these identical copies is your puny lackey? Choose wisely, because the others will be disintegrated!”
Okay, new challenge.
Or: Techno & Phil via an evil wizard.
Day Four: Scars
Series
- Part 4 of Techno + Phil Week
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,845
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 30
- Kudos:
- 150
- Bookmarks:
- 22
- Hits:
- 604
Bookmarked by azixcel
24 Jun 2026
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In Which Beleagured Mafia Member Technoblade Attempts To Do Paperwork, Deal With His Coworkers Skeppy And Bad And Co, And Now He Has To Talk To The Strange Blond Prisoner He's Suddenly In Charge Of, Why Does This Always Happen To Him He Is A Good Person—Wait, Okay, He Is Not A Good Person At All But He Pays His Taxes (Tax Fraud Is How They Get You) Hopefully This Man Will Be Cowed Into Silence Oh No That's Not Gonna Happen Is It Oh No.
Series
- Part 3 of Challenge Works
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 20,645
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 229
- Kudos:
- 312
- Bookmarks:
- 67
- Hits:
- 3,496
Bookmarked by azixcel
24 Jun 2026
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Time: 19:00 PST Thursday
Channel: #mod-chatTechnoblade: alright, writer signups close in two hours, everyone ready to go? phil, you’ve been getting the pitches as they come in, tubbo you said the matching machine was good, discord’s been pretty chill—we’re good?
Nihachu: Someone just submitted a seven-fandom crossover and the spreadsheet broke I think.
Technoblade: that’s fine. let me look. okay that’s a ticket.
Tommyinnit: GUESS WHO”S GETTING FUCKING ✨ EVACUATED ✨
Ranboo: was the caps lock necessary?
Or: Technoblade and mod team run matching weekend for their big bang, and everything goes So Smoothly don't even worry about it.
Bookmarked by azixcel
24 Jun 2026
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Freaking Out In The Middle Of The Street (With The Complete Conviction Of Someone Who Has Never Had Anything Actually Really Bad Happen To Them) by antimony_medusa
Fandoms: Dream SMP, Video Blogging RPF
14 May 2023
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Techno scooped a couple plates off the couch and put them in a stack by the wall. “So, you found a guy.”
“I sure did!” Wilbur said. “Go on. Guess where I found said guy.”
“This is going to sound insane,” Techno said, sitting down.
“I promise you it can’t be weirder than the truth, after the evening I’ve just had,” Wilbur said. He pulled a towel out of the laundry basket on the coffee table and sat on it. “I promise.”
“That guy isn’t a historical reenactor, is he,” Techno said.
“I am really beginning to think he is not, no,” Wilbur said, and put his head in his hands. “Technoblade, what am I going to do?”