azusas
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Must have been a dream.
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It might hurt you, John had told him, saying might because he couldn’t stand will, saying hurt because he couldn’t look in Dean's eyes and use the real word.
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“You know I’d never hurt you, Dean.”
He could tell his father wasn’t talking about the normal kind of hurt, a slap or two when Dean fucked up. His hands shook at his sides, freezing. Dad would never hurt him. Of course he wouldn’t.
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“You know what I was doing when I was your age?”
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Sometimes it was once a month, sometimes it was every day. The inconsistency was the worst part; he’d lie awake all night with his stomach tying itself in knots, just waiting, clenching his legs together tight like that would help. It didn’t matter if John fell asleep before him. He’d woken up wanting it before.
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
Dean has always given his father everything he asked for. He plays whichever role he needs him to, whether he is taking care of Sammy, hunting monsters, or listening to the thoughts and feelings that bleed out of him when he's had a few too many. Dean knows that his dad needs him, he just didn't know how much he wanted him.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,442
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 8
- Kudos:
- 57
- Bookmarks:
- 12
- Hits:
- 1,338
Bookmarked by azusas
18 Jul 2026
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Its a damn risky thing to do, with Bobby asleep upstairs. But Dean never disobeys his father, and he’s horny as all hell. It’s not a prime combination for sensible decision making.
Bookmarked by azusas
25 Jun 2026
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"I'm going to check on Sammy." The one sure thing that would get him out of the room. He paused, one hand on the door knob, and he turned in time to see his father pour himself another shot. "I don't regret it," he said. "I won't regret it."
The glass rose. Amber liquid caught the light. "Then I'll regret it enough for both of us."
Bookmarked by azusas
17 Jun 2026
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A hazy memory triggers strange thoughts in John's mind.
Bookmarked by azusas
31 May 2026
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Dean doesn't smoke.
Bookmarked by azusas
15 May 2026