beyourlover



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “Tell me nothing is wrong with me,” he begs, his big brown eyes welling with tears that haven’t yet spilled over, and Ilya miscalculated somewhere along the way. Ilya fucked up.

    This is not Quiet Shane. This is the Shane that Ilya can’t control himself around no matter how many years it’s been. The Shane that’s always lurking underneath the surface, ready to drown him at the first sign of Ilya’s weakness—the first drop of blood in the water. This is the Shane that Ilya would send home with bitemarks on his face and arms, all the way up through the second grade, because Shane would smile at him, like Ilya’s own personal sunflower.

    Shane gets hard when a classmate from school hits him during a fight. Ilya, his best friend since diapers, knows everything there is to know about sex. Surely, he’ll have a way to fix this.

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    21 May 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    “Ilya: his savior, his knight, his zashchitnik, has just committed treason against Shane, his sweet prince.” this one just knocked the air out of my lungs (me and shane both, albeit in v different ways)

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “And you’re sure there’s nothing for you?” David says suddenly. “You’re not—you’re feeling okay? You’re not sick? Shane wouldn’t have any reason to think that you’re sick?”

    Ilya blinks and turns to him. “I am fine. Totally fine. Better than fine, even, before today.”

    “It’s just—Shane’s acting like you’re dying, Ilya.”

    “Not as far as I’m aware,” says Ilya. “And I do not think he would learn this before me.”

    The summer before Ilya joins the Centaurs, Shane wakes up nervous. It doesn't stop from there.

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    23 Mar 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    After a mix-up leaves Hayden with the wrong phone for three days, he ends up learning more about Ilya Rozanov and his secret girlfriend, Jane.

    Another Hayden-Finds-Out, because we can't have too many.

    *now with the extra continuing Hayden-Rozanov friendship text threads*

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    13 Feb 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    He only realizes he’s doing it when it’s too late to stop.

    He’s standing in the drink aisle of the grocery store, checking the expiration dates on the cans of Coke, mentally cross-checking them with Boston’s away game schedule, and the reality hits him like someone shook one of those cans and popped it open. A snap. A fizz. A mess.

    Shane is making space for Ilya.

     

    (or, lessons in budget-friendly shopping, home decor, and resisting the urge to neatly combine all your situationship’s shit into a drawer in your bedroom because you might be falling in love with him: a seven-ish step guide by shane hollander, who is so, so fucked)

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    11 Feb 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    “Oh my god,” the intruder says, voice coming faster and higher-pitched. “Shane, what the fuck? Oh my god.”

    “Eeleeyah, come to my cottage,” Ilya mocks, voice muffled by Shane’s skin. “Don’t go to Russia. Come to my house instead. Is so private. No one will know…we will be completely alone. Together.”

    “Oh my god, is that Ilya Rozanov?” the intruder yelps like he's about to start hyperventilating. “Why is Ilya Rozanov half-naked in our kitchen, Shane?”

    “Okay, I know how this looks,” Shane tells Ilya, “But I mean, technically, we are still alone. Together.”

    or,

    At the cottage, Shane and Ilya meet eighteen year old Shane Hollander. This is really only a surprise for one of them. Everyone handles it as well as can be expected.

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    02 Feb 2026