chaoticbeing2



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    Shane is boring the way a sniper is boring. Boring the way a glacier is boring. Very slow, very quiet, very inevitable, and then suddenly you're kinda fucked.

    Or, Ilya deserves a medal for the number of lives he's saved with the power of his dick and the ability to fuck the concept of revenge out of his husband's mind.

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    11 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    At twelve years old, Shane Hollander learned how to shoot a gun.
    At eighteen, he was drafted into the NHL.
    For most of his life, he's believed those two things could exist separately.
    He is wrong.

    Yuna Hollander is one of the most revered mob bosses in North America. (It changes nothing) (It changes everything).

    The Yakuza!Yuna AU that I can't get out of my head.

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    11 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    “They need to return to a conference based system,” Svetlana said, slamming her hand against the table. “It was fucking fine the way it was, why are we handing out participation trophies to shitty divisions?”

    Ilya raised his eyebrows from where he hovered in the kitchen, cracking open another Red Bull.

    “This is fun,” he said, deadpanned. “You guys should start a podcast or something. I would not listen, you are both terribly boring.”

    * * *

    Or, after an injury on the ice forces Shane into an early retirement, he and Svetlana start a podcast.

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    11 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    ...oh,” his mom says. “Oh, honey, you were seeing someone? You never said anything.”

    “It’s-it’s complicated.” He catches the present tense too fucking late to do anything about it, and he barely resists the urge to either groan or slip forward to start beating his head against the coffee table.

    Fuck his fucking life.

    “You’re still…seeing this person?” His mom asks, and the amount of control he can hear her exerting is almost painful. “Who is-”

    “Yuna,” his dad cuts in, voice quiet, “maybe give him a second, yeah?”

    Yeah, Shane agrees in his head. Give him a second.

    Maybe give him a decade while they’re at it.

    (when shane's old fake id falls out of his wallet around his parents, he has to explain that it was to book hotel rooms before he was 21)

    (...and then he has to explain why he needed to book those hotel rooms in the first place)

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    10 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Hollander narrowed his eyes. “Are you… jealous?” he asked suspiciously.

    Ilya scoffed. “You can fuck whoever you want, I don’t give a shit.”

    “...Right.” Hollander pulled on his boxers before he dropped the towel. “Because it’s not like you don’t fuck other people too, you know.”

    “I know.”

    “And it’s not that you- you aren’t enough, or whatever.” Hollander turned even more red, looking down. “But, like, we don’t get to see each other that often.”

    “I know.”

    “And, you know, it turns out you can have a lot of anonymous sex if you’re gay. People are surprisingly okay with it.” He said it earnestly, like he was the first person in the world to make this discovery.

    Ilya forced himself to swallow, keeping his face carefully blank. “Is that so?”

    ~~

    OR: Shane downloads Grindr. Ilya goes into a jealous spiral
    set pre-tuna melt, 2015ish

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    10 Jun 2026