classyashley
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Summary
Hermione Granger had never met a warning label she respected.
So when an antique Malfoy ring arrives at her Ministry desk with a note in Draco Malfoy’s handwriting that reads:
Do not put it on.
She does the sensible thing.
She investigates it.
Unfortunately, the ring considers “investigate” close enough to “wear.”
Now Hermione has twenty-four hours, one provisional matrimonial claim, and exactly seven feet of forced proximity before ancient Malfoy magic declares them legally, magically, and catastrophically bound.
Draco is furious.
The contract remains unconvinced.
Series
- Part 1 of The Return Policy Universe
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 42,274
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Comments:
- 133
- Kudos:
- 484
- Bookmarks:
- 134
- Hits:
- 15,410
Bookmarked by classyashley
04 Jun 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
A cheeky little contract makes everything better
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F is for Friday, Friends and The Fancying Sense by WhiskyGreen
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
26 May 2026
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Summary
“You need to stop!” She finally managed to gasp after several thick swallows, once her pipes were cleared.
“Wh-” she didn’t let him question her as she slammed her fork down on the kitchen island.
“I- I know you’re not doing it on purpose, Malfoy, and it’s fine in the pub where it’s neutral territory- but we’re in your kitchen, and I can see your socks, and that’s very intimate, and how you’re acting- like- like you like me, it’s making me think things and- it’s confusing. Is this because I mentioned the thing about human contact and the milkman earlier?” She took a heaving breath and wished to all the gods she had just kept the chicken in her mouth. “Sorry,” she finally spoke after a tense silence, “I didn’t mean to shout.”
Draco Malfoy blinked at her for a solid minute. It looked as though he was picking over every word she’d vomited at him. “I do like you,” he finally said, in a very neutral tone.
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A funny little one-shot where Hermione is Autism Coded and Draco is Smitten.
Series
- Part 6 of The A to Z of Dramione
Bookmarked by classyashley
31 May 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
You know, sometimes you see so much of a character in you and you realize your therapist might be right and you probably need to get assessed to confirm her theory that you are autistic. I am the "you" and I think I have some appointments to make.
Life altering revelations aside, this Draco is literally everything and this version of Hermione is so relatable it's painful. I love it here.
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Summary
For a moment, Hermione forgets how to breathe and her heart races at the single-minded way he’s looking at her now.
Is he pissed or something?
Because if she’s not mistaken, Draco Malfoy is offering to fuck a baby into her.
Bookmarked by classyashley
26 May 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
I love that Draco has his revelation and then it comes true
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Insatiable Science by garnetsyrup, SilverDragonGemini
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
15 May 2026
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Summary
Draco can’t seem to stop showing up at Hermione’s Herbology lab with troubled plants for her to diagnose and treat. The most recent case, however, opens the door to far more than either of them bargained for.
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OR: Willpower is no match against mutual attraction and sex pollen.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,672
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 57
- Kudos:
- 705
- Bookmarks:
- 122
- Hits:
- 10,488
Bookmarked by classyashley
18 May 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
I think if sex pollen was a thing in real life I might actually get aroused by a man that is not fictional. As it stands I'll just continue to enjoy this as one of my favorite tropes.
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Tags
Summary
The war has raged on for years, and it became obvious that Voldemort's forces were going to win. When Hermione Granger defects from the Order or the Phoenix, her only goal was to help the Dark Lord run a proper government that enacted policies that would benefit the people he was actually meant to rule.
Not everyone was thrilled with her place as Voldemort's top advisor, and after two years of Hermione trying to take the high road, the time had come to set them straight.
🏅WINNER: Best HEA
🏅WINNER: Overall Favorite