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“I’m sorry,” Shane chokes, closing his eyes. Rozanov draws his hand, pulling Shane’s with it, to his face and wipes his cheeks.
“There is nothing to be sorry for, любовь моя, it is okay,” Rozanov murmurs, tugging at Shane’s hair again. Shane exhales, letting him clean his cheeks. “You got overwhelmed, yes? It happens.”
“I can’t be fucking normal,” Shane says quietly, whining, head falling back, pressing into Rozanov’s hand.
“No, if you were fucking normal, you would not be my Shane.”
// shane is a liar, and he's tired of it all. his life falls apart, and he finds that he doesn't actually mind.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 33,474
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 913
- Kudos:
- 10,448
- Bookmarks:
- 3,490
- Hits:
- 155,143
Bookmarked by complete_fxckingmess
08 Jun 2026
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Shane is in love with Matt. They're in love and it's fine. It's better than fine really, Shane loves just about everything about Matt and he loves all of Matt's friends. Except for the big tall Russian one that wont stop staring at him like he knows something Shane doesn't. Like he's waiting for Shane to snap. Like he's begging Shane to do something.
And Shane won’t, obviously. Because Ilya is the type of man to reel you in and the leave you high and dry. Leave you looking for pieces of him in every new person that you meet, leave you looking for signs you didn't just make the whole thing up, like some wild fantasy that was born of monotony.
Oh, and he fact he has a boyfriend who he loves. A lot. It isn't monotonous. Its love.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 22,513
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 259
- Kudos:
- 9,104
- Bookmarks:
- 2,671
- Hits:
- 156,770
Bookmarked by complete_fxckingmess
08 Jun 2026
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Shane Hollander is a man who thrives on structure, routine, the solid ground of a ten-year plan. Ilya likes that about him, likes the embracing squeeze of having a life organized in tandem with Shane.
No one would call Ilya a man who thrives on structure. But it’s there, if not in his DNA then in the patterns of his brain. A call-and-response of: they do this, I do that.
When Ilya’s life is flayed open for the world to dissect, how will they push-and-pull their way back towards what was once a well-organized life?
“I thought we could go through the schedules and figure out what days we’ll be in the same cities this season, or when either of us have a couple of days off in a row. Maybe make a shared calendar, so we c—”
“A sex calendar? Your parents are arriving in thirty minutes, and you are proposing making a sex calendar?” Oh, this was delicious. He’d be able to eat out on this for years, if Shane was willing to give him that long.
“It’s not a sex calendar! It’s just … when we might be able to see each other,” he finished, already sounding defeated.
“And what are you planning on doing when we are seeing each other? Not fucking?”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 47,947
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Collections:
- 14
- Comments:
- 4,234
- Kudos:
- 13,318
- Bookmarks:
- 5,368
- Hits:
- 241,616
Bookmarked by complete_fxckingmess
27 May 2026
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Rather than give him the joint, Ilya takes it back between his own lips and sucks in a deep breath, the tip glowing as he does so. Then, before Shane can process it, he’s reaching up and sliding one large hand around the back of Shane’s neck, pulling him down so their lips meet.
Shane gasps softly, and Ilya takes the opportunity to blow smoke into his open and waiting mouth.
Oh, God. Are you there? It’s me, Shane Hollander. We’ve had our differences, but I think I’d like to convert for real this time. I’m ready. Open the pearly white gates. I’m coming up.
Shane goes to a house party, gets high, then gets on his knees. bon appetite
now a multi-chapter saga bc i couldn't help myself- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 93,547
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Comments:
- 2,226
- Kudos:
- 18,414
- Bookmarks:
- 6,855
- Hits:
- 432,270
Bookmarked by complete_fxckingmess
19 May 2026
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back and forth from new york by alphalupi
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
25 Apr 2026
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After coming out to Rose, Shane decides he doesn't want to lie anymore, even if he isn't sure coming out will mean he gets happily ever after with Ilya. When coming out to the Voyageurs leaves him wondering what his future in Montreal might look like, he lets himself be a little selfish, he lets himself wonder if there might be somewhere else he might be happy. If Montreal wants to get rid of a generational player, he's not about to stop them, especially if it means he can get a little closer to joy.
--
Or: Shane Hollander leaves Montreal in search of something better.
Series
- Part 1 of back and forth from new york
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 255,418
- Chapters:
- 55/55
- Comments:
- 15,352
- Kudos:
- 34,498
- Bookmarks:
- 12,790
- Hits:
- 2,156,908
Bookmarked by complete_fxckingmess
07 May 2026
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Refusing to let Ilya ruin his career by signing with Ottawa, Shane chooses to really give their relationship a try and moves to Boston to live with Ilya and become a Raider. What follows is enough public scrutiny and backlash from his team that it has him questioning if he made the right decision. Until moments with Ilya and the Raiders show him exactly why he chose correctly.
---
Hayden’s eyes flickered to Shane as he sat on the bench, chewing on the edge of his mouth guard.
“Don’t fucking look at him,” Ilya insisted as he bent down for the faceoff.
“Excuse me?” Hayden mumbled, eyes darting back to him.
“You heard me,” he retorted, his tone clipped. “He’s not your teammate anymore; he’s mine. If you think Marlow is a problem to your game, wait until you see what I will do to your team if you hurt anyone on mine again.”
Hayden scoffed, dipping his head as he tried to focus on the game. Something about Ilya’s words still rang through his head though, sounding so definitive that he didn’t want to risk seeing what he was actually referring to when he said that.
The puck dropped again, and Ilya stole it before he could comprehend how quickly it happened.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 223,930
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Comments:
- 1,277
- Kudos:
- 23,411
- Bookmarks:
- 7,743
- Hits:
- 433,405
Bookmarked by complete_fxckingmess
04 May 2026
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Haunting Your City by mightyd0lphin
Fandoms: Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
26 Feb 2026
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Summary
“What is there to talk about?”
“What’s there to talk about?!” Hollander scoffed, shaking his head. “You’re playing for my fucking team!”
“I know.”
“Why did you have to go and get traded?! You realise we’re going to have to see each other every day from now on, and play together, and-”
“Yes,” Ilya interrupted. He didn’t want to know how long Hollander’s list was. “I know.”
Hollander took a deep breath. “Okay, listen,” he said. “Just so we’re clear - we don’t know each other outside of playing against each other, right?”
“Right.”
“And we can’t- can’t hook up anymore.”
~
OR: Ilya gets traded to Montreal in October 2014. He's lonely, and angry, and he misses Boston. He doesn't know if it helps that Hollander is there or not.
title from Buckle by Florence and the Machine
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 93,307
- Chapters:
- 30/30
- Comments:
- 4,116
- Kudos:
- 18,917
- Bookmarks:
- 6,965
- Hits:
- 525,413
Bookmarked by complete_fxckingmess
04 May 2026
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love in exile has nowhere to go by justhockey
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
18 Mar 2026
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“We’ve made a trade,” Coach announces. “For Shane Hollander.”
It’s like the ground drops out from beneath Ilya, and his heart falls from his chest. It tumbles past rock bottom, down to the cavern that shattered open inside of him on that night five years ago. The night when Ilya walked away from Hollander for the last time.
He can’t breathe.
(Or: Shane doesn’t get hurt, they break up, and they don’t talk for five long years. Until Shane is traded to Ottawa.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 22,904
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 14
- Comments:
- 1,873
- Kudos:
- 23,896
- Bookmarks:
- 6,332
- Hits:
- 236,357
Bookmarked by complete_fxckingmess
25 Apr 2026
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ilyarozanovofficial ✓ on Instagram
[a slideshow post of Ilya and Shane’s time in the Bahamas, complete with scenic sunset pictures, coconuts by the beach, and a shot of Shane from the back showing only his forearm and his hand linked with Ilya’s, leading him forward]
getaway
1.4m likes, 3,683 commentsCOMMENTS:
S_Hollander24
You look very nice in that swimsuit
4 likesilyarozanovofficial
@S_Hollander24 sorry, i have a boyfriend
2,384 likesThe only thing the media knows about famous model Ilya Rozanov's secret boyfriend is that he exists. Shane is happy to keep their relationship private, until he isn't.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,601
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 9
- Comments:
- 403
- Kudos:
- 22,783
- Bookmarks:
- 3,508
- Hits:
- 161,851
Bookmarked by complete_fxckingmess
20 Apr 2026
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please leave a message by subcorax
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
18 Dec 2025
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Summary
Sarah
Does anyone have the number for Shane's girl from Boston? I feel bad that they've been seeing each other for this long and we've never added her here.Jackie
Oh good point! Let me ask Hayden.Jackie has added Lily to the conversation
Lily
what
what is thisOr: Ilya Rozanov is, apparently, one of the girls.
Series
- Part 1 of You Have (81) Unread Messages
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,407
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 3,499
- Kudos:
- 113,883
- Bookmarks:
- 21,354
- Hits:
- 977,585
Bookmarked by complete_fxckingmess
12 Apr 2026
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Summary
zuko nation @yaoionice
tell me why the rozanov leaks have me sobbing into my pillow … god i see what you have done for others
oh captain my captain @jimothykirk
Replying to @yaoionice
RIGHT like i think love might be real
dani @danisqueerbar
Replying to @jimothykirk
we found love in a hopeless place (rozanov’s dms)
Or, the internet reacts to leaked messages between Ilya Rozanov and the mysterious Jane.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,526
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Comments:
- 674
- Kudos:
- 25,777
- Bookmarks:
- 4,516
- Hits:
- 176,612
Bookmarked by complete_fxckingmess
09 Apr 2026
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It was easy, letting go. At least, that’s what Eddie told himself as he watched Hawkins fade to a tiny smudge on the horizon, his whole life packed into the van and Wayne’s old truck as they fled the Indiana tree line for the high mountain valleys of Idaho. Amidst the hot, dry air and sweet sagebrush, Eddie’s mind wandered, crawling back night after night under a blanket of stars to the golden boy he left behind and the chasm in his chest that used to house his heart — whistling and waiting, a near eternal ache.
Home came together slowly, and then all at once when Steve Harrington showed up on his doorstep a year later — haggard and worn, searching for something among the wildflowers.
A tale of death, birth, and the promise of green.
Bookmarked by complete_fxckingmess
10 Mar 2026
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If Eddie had known that sharing his New York City art studio with Robin would include her buddy Steve, he never would’ve offered it in the first place. There. He said it. If that makes him a bad friend, so be it.
Because Steve is around all the time. Pastel and prissy. Sculpted from marble, yet dressed like a Macy’s mannequin. Always hovering.
They got Robin’s potters wheel up the stairs last week, a three man effort he can still feel in his lower back, and now she’s fucking teaching him. Full on, arms wrapped around his waist, hands guiding hands. Someone grab him a bucket, ‘cause Eddie’s about to throw up.
He’s not even good at it. Steve can barely get the hump of clay centered on the wheel and he refuses to get stains on his clothes. It’s fucking clay. It comes out in the wash. Steve’s shirtless approach to pottery is borderline offensive to the arts.
#038 in the steddie big bang
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 64,609
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Comments:
- 267
- Kudos:
- 1,075
- Bookmarks:
- 330
- Hits:
- 18,948
Bookmarked by complete_fxckingmess
08 Feb 2026
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My Mind Goes to You (Chase Away the Cold) by scribbleandscrawl
Fandoms: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
13 Nov 2025
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Summary
Steve Harrington is always cold. Eddie Munson is always warm.
Steve and Eddie falling in love, one temperature difference at a time.Bookmarked by complete_fxckingmess
15 Nov 2025
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wild, wild horses (couldn't drag me away) by m4zzyst4r (cinematicghibli)
Fandoms: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
23 Oct 2025
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Summary
“Which of you morons,” she hisses, “let Eddie log into twitter today?”
Eddie blinks.
“How do you-”
“Because, Eddie- you commented using the band account. You logged in on our official socials.”
Eddie stares at her dumbly. Then-
“Oh fuck.”
“Yes,” she agrees. “Oh fuck.”
“I’ll- delete that, then,” he laughs nervously. “Before-”
“Before someone picks up on it, screenshots it, begins distributing it across the internet at a frankly alarming pace and starts a series of hashtags up in an effort to find the ‘pretty boy’ gardener you were lusting over?”---
Eddie is a burnt-out-overworked-crash-and-burn-rockstar with a crippling twitter addiction. Steve is a chronically-offline-homegrown-indiana-boy-flowershop-owner with a green thumb and a penchant for taking in strays.
So naturally when Eddie first sees him, he's head over heels. And Steve has no clue what his day job is.
He'll tell Steve about his 'real' identity before things go too far- right?- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 27,425
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Comments:
- 256
- Kudos:
- 1,846
- Bookmarks:
- 419
- Hits:
- 16,673
Bookmarked by complete_fxckingmess
26 Oct 2025
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Playlist for When Your Boyfriend Stops Breathing by SunsetPlums
Fandoms: Arcane: League of Legends (Cartoon 2021)
16 May 2025
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He pictures the funeral sometimes.
He pictures someone he doesn’t know saying Viktor’s name wrong. He pictures screaming in public. He pictures stealing the ashes and keeping them in a protein powder container because it’s the only vessel big enough. He pictures lying in those ashes like a widow bird. He pictures baking the ashes into bread and feeding them to pigeons in the park.
He pictures swallowing them himself.
Or: When Viktor chooses a quiet death, Jayce learns how to love him to the edge of the end and carry what’s left through the sad art of letting go.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 9,821
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Comments:
- 1,872
- Kudos:
- 12,994
- Bookmarks:
- 3,471
- Hits:
- 131,311
Bookmarked by complete_fxckingmess
25 Aug 2025
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If one true thing can be said about Jayce then it is this: he means what he says and says what he means. Heart on his sleeve beating loudly for all to hear. Once, Viktor had tapped on his shoulder and told him: Here. Here is where your heart is.
--
or: they meet again four years after a breakup.
Bookmarked by complete_fxckingmess
16 Aug 2025
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Evergreen Out The Window by inkingbrushes
Fandoms: Arcane: League of Legends (Cartoon 2021)
08 Jan 2025
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Viktor peels a pomegranate, Jayce keeps a locket, and the forest sings.
(Or: Viktor and Jayce are cursed by a soul bond and learn to live with it. Featuring a magical garden, a forest that talks, and a love that grows like a tiny sprout.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 51,359
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 260
- Kudos:
- 2,040
- Bookmarks:
- 837
- Hits:
- 36,060
Bookmarked by complete_fxckingmess
13 Aug 2025
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Before Your Sun Sets by WhiteButterfly
Fandoms: Arcane: League of Legends (Cartoon 2021)
03 Aug 2025
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Viktor is sick with Hanahaki. Jayce would do anything to save him—whether it be by developing an impossible cure or trying to find out who Viktor is in love with to smack some sense into them.
Little does he know, he’s chasing his own shadow.
Series
- Part 1 of Before Your Sun Sets Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 169,754
- Chapters:
- 17/17
- Comments:
- 2,654
- Kudos:
- 2,206
- Bookmarks:
- 619
- Hits:
- 57,887
Bookmarked by complete_fxckingmess
07 Aug 2025
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Summary
Steve rolled onto his side and studied Eddie's face. The slope of his nose and the outline of his jaw, where dark stubble grew in patches.
“What's it like?” Steve asked. “Kissing another guy?”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 25,443
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 137
- Kudos:
- 1,951
- Bookmarks:
- 408
- Hits:
- 20,517
Bookmarked by complete_fxckingmess
29 Jun 2025