cucumber_of_doom
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Recent works
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Crew entertainment (MIs only) by cucumber_of_doom
Fandoms: The Murderbot Diaries - Martha Wells
17 Apr 2026
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Summary
I checked ART’s official map and yep, there was a new marker for ‘crew entertainment hole’. That wasn’t ominous at all.
I send it a shot of the map with the marker highlighted.
Three gives some attention to SecUnit's hand and energy weapon, ART is smug and nobody makes any eye contact.
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Summary
“I want to show you something later, Stede. Like, after dinner? Have dinner with the crew, then I’ll have your surprise ready. You’ll like it, I promise!”
Stede would love his idea!After getting to try so many of Stede's finest things, Ed wants to share one of the best things he owns too: Izzy's mouth.
This takes place the day after the party.
Series
- Part 3 of Free Use Izzy AU
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get you going once again (see you shine once more) by cucumber_of_doom
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
27 Jun 2025
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Summary
No, a pretty, stupid, rich blond guy playing at captaining is worth a try. If his plan doesn’t work out they can still take his shit.
So Izzy goes along with Ed’s newest obsession, encourages it even. Anything to reignite that spark in his captain.What if Izzy actively brought Stede to Ed's attention in order to coax him out of his depression?
What if he still has a hard time on board the Revenge?Series
- Part 2 of Free Use Izzy AU
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Summary
Izzy gets swept over the side of the ship in a storm. Lucky for him, he gets picket up by the alien equivalent of animal rescue.
Since they can't safe his leg he isn't a candidate to released back onto earth and instead finds a loving home with giant space jellyfish Stede who tries his best to take care of his very first human!This is just some silly thing. Izzy has a bad time at the beginning, but then he gets to take a lot of long naps.
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Jack ramps up his charm, grin growing lascivious.
„What about a little two-for-one special?”
“The two of you for a third of what I usually charge for a single person? Sounds like a bad business decision to me,” she drawls but looks them up and down while leaning back against the counter next to Jack. She arches an eyebrow at him. “But you know what? I am not completely heartless. You lads pay upfront and get half a massage each. At the same time, ‘cause I’m gonna close up after this. What do you boys say?”
Ed needs a little pick-me-up after getting his heart broken and Jack does what everyone would do for their best bro: talking the MILF with the face tattoo at the massage place into a discount-threesome.
Recent series
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- Words:
- 10,170
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 1
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The Bonds from London by cucumber_of_doom
Fandom GoldenEye (1995), James Bond (Craig Movies), On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969), SPECTRE (2015)
05 Nov 2020
- Words:
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- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
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- 2,450
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- Words:
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- Words:
- 1,700
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Recent bookmarks
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Summary
Set between Fugitive Telemetry and Network Effect, Murderbot inadvertently finds itself responsible for the welfare of a house full of children.
Bookmarked by cucumber_of_doom
03 Jun 2026
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"It would be my fourth surgery in two years, sir."
"Your fourth promotion in two years." Reginald corrected. They regarded him for a long moment, and then sucked in a breath through their teeth. "Look, I can put your refusal on your file. Of course, it will be a disciplinary action."
Or, a little snippet of Corporation Rim augmentation horrors.
Bookmarked by cucumber_of_doom
30 May 2026
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sentryDrone8 gets all the cool jobs by molecular_machine
Fandoms: The Murderbot Diaries - Martha Wells
24 May 2026
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Summary
The intel drone POV you didn’t know you needed? Spoilers for Platform Decay.
Bookmarked by cucumber_of_doom
25 May 2026
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Maintenance Manual for SecUnits models 36b-27f by Wordlet
Fandoms: The Murderbot Diaries - Martha Wells
28 Aug 2024
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Summary
When Mensah receives the maintenance manual for the person she just bought she discards it on instinct. It's not until later, while trying to navigate the needs of a person she has limited context for, that the supplementary reading becomes useful. It's not instructions the way they are supposed to be but it does provide... guidance.
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collection of scenes where MB accidentally shows that it has SecUnit needs.Bookmarked by cucumber_of_doom
23 May 2026
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The Gravity Aspect by friend_unit
Fandoms: The Murderbot Diaries - Martha Wells, Murderbot - Fandom
17 May 2026
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Summary
Murderbot gives ART a bath
Bookmarked by cucumber_of_doom
21 May 2026