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When Crowley opens the hotel room door and gets a full look at the dom he's hired, his first very uncharitable thought is that this is never going to work.
It's the beaming smile, the untidy mop of cherubic curls, the rather twee outfit. There's an overall aesthetic of a kindly, gay caricature from a vintage greeting card come to life, and nothing about that lines up with the sort of person Crowley's successfully gone under for before.
His second thought is that he knows a lot bloody better than to judge someone's ability to dominate him by looks alone, and that he's only being such a hypocritically judgmental dick because his anxiety's got him doomsdaying everything again—which is why he's hired someone to help him achieve his own version of meditation in the first place.
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Crowley's anxiety is interfering with his kink life so badly that he decides to hire a professional dom to help get him into subspace. It goes horribly until it goes absolutely amazing.
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every year is getting shorter (never seem to find the time) by ffonippop
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV)
21 Nov 2023
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Crowley realizes he is in love with Aziraphale in Rome. Of course, by then, there’s no turning back. This does not necessarily mean there’s going forward. Loving Aziraphale is punishable, forbidden in every sense of the word. But there’s nothing much that can be done about it.
Like a terminal illness, Crowley treats the enormity of his emotions the best he can, distracting himself from the impossibility of having a life with Aziraphale with his favorite vice— having mindless, meaningless sex with any human that bears a resemblance to the angel.
He feeds off fleeting desire (which can almost be mistaken for want). He survives off the attention of strangers (who can almost be mistaken for Aziraphale, in the dark). And he manages. It’s fine.
Only it would be much finer is Aziraphale got off his ass about it. Or got off on his ass about it.
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Leave the Light On by killerqueer, VentureTrain
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
14 Jun 2020
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The You've Got Mail But With Phone Sex AU that nobody asked for.
Azra's life is turned upside down when his partner of two years breaks up with him, seemingly out of nowhere, and kicks him out of their shared flat. Well, Gabriel's flat. Left to start over on his own, he ends up living above the bookshop and below his incredibly rude landlord, who seems to insist on having incredibly loud intercourse at all times of day.
Meanwhile, in a moment of loneliness, he finds himself doing something he has never considered, and calls a phone sex line. Oh, and he might just be falling in love with the operator.
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Crowley can't work Love miracles properly, and Aziraphale can't work Lust ones correctly. They meet up for practice.
A sequel to Princip1914's Bleak Without and Bare Within.
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- Words:
- 38,377
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 199
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Flowers From The Grave Of Our Friendship by WaitingToBeBroken
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
19 Aug 2019
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Crowley is very good at temptation, not so good with what comes afterwards.
Aziraphale knows demons don't love so he is happy to take anything Crowley would give him.
Both of them are too blind to realize the thing they want is right in front of them.
Series
- Part 1 of Flowers From The Grave Of Our Friendship
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- Words:
- 130,867
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 153
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“Hypothetically, if you were able to go back in time, how dangerous would it be to, like, make friends. Or whatever.”
“Well … I don’t think making friends would upset the balance of the universe, or anything. Just, you know, don’t fall in love.”
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Frank is in the midst of a quarter-life crisis, and a divine intervention comes in the form of accidentally traveling sixty years into the past at the (literal) push of a button.
Featuring a watch that doesn’t just tell time, an antique store owner who may or may not be a witch, and world war two — obviously.
What follows is one for the history books.
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Izzy was a lot of things, but he wasn’t an idiot.
It had come as no surprise when he had been looking over the edge of the ship and he had seen the golden hair of Stede Bonnet in the distance. No one left Edward Teach, not willingly, and Izzy had assumed that eventually Stede would have at least come for the ship.
Ed shrugged, “glad he’s back though.”
Izzy wouldn’t admit that he agreed.
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Stede Bonnet is a popular and successful wedding planner whose wife kicked him out and is currently going through a divorce. Ed Teach owns a catering company (and a bar & grill) - and has been madly in love with Stede since he laid eyes on him almost seven years ago. With Stede going through his divorce, will he finally have his chance at last? Or will other people and forces stand in their way?
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Only once they were out of sight of the café did the man stop and take his arm away, giving Stede a sheepish little grin. “Looked like you needed rescuing back there,” he said, and then held out his free hand. “I’m Ed.”
Stede, still a little dumbfounded, grasped Ed’s hand in a weak shake. “Stede. Stede Bonnet. I’ll pay you back for the tea, I promise. I get paid next week.”
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A modern AU where Ed saves Stede from embarrassment in a café, and then suddenly accidental sugar daddy happens. This is a prompt fill from the OFMD kink meme, the fic is all complete and a new chapter will be posted weekly.
ETA: A podfic version of this fic, read by the incomparable SD_Ryan, is available here!
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“I moved to a new flat because I’ve just walked out on my wife of twenty five years. And our two children. Without telling them. Well, I left a letter, but it was brief.”
I started to think he’d hung up. Then he said “go on”.
*
A preposterous AU with a preposterous meet cute. Featuring Ed's terribly named sex shop, Stede being a proud ally of the LGBT community and surprisingly tame sex given the premise. Unbetaed.
Series
- Part 1 of Baddy Zaddy
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A modern AU in which Ed is a glassblower, because glassblowing is sexy. Ed/Stede medium burn, E rating applies from chapter 4 onwards.
Stede's life is boring, flat, made up of things he didn't choose for himself. He commissions some glass art from Ed as an anniversary gift for Mary, and Stede starts to learn what it is like to want things for himself.
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“Hey, it’s blond guy!”
“Uh,” Stede looks up to see leather and purple and strikingly tumbling hair. “Hi. Stede Bonnet. Blond guy?”
“Yeah man, I’ve seen you in the shop, I call you Blond Guy in my head. Good to have a proper name for you, Stede. I’m Ed.”
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Edward was a little bit of a stuffy, old fashioned name. And Teach, well, that made Stede think of a professor. And however silly that kind of assumption may be, when he had spotted this man’s name in the listings, he’d pictured a bespectacled man in a cardigan, not… Well.
Written for the tumblr prompt "nanny/single parent au".
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Dean is a novice in the dom/sub world asked by his employer as a desperate last resort to be a sub for his recluse of a brother, Castiel. Castiel is a diagnosed OCD suffering from PTSD and agoraphobia, mysophobia, and dystychiphobia. Needless to say—he’s a mess who hasn’t stepped out of his home in literally seven years. The only times Gabriel can see traces of the way his brother used to be is when he feels in control—specifically when he has control over a sub. However, due to his idiosyncrasies and paranoia, keeping a sub around has been impossible. Enter Dean, who’s not a very traditional submissive, to try his hand at subbing for the hermit.
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Dean Winchester, reluctant business owner, reluctant home owner, and reluctant cat owner, is striking up a very promising friendship with the author of his favorite book series.
And he has no idea.
Series
- Part 1 of Hazelnut Valley
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Dean Winchester's life is... well, it's not great. He's a gym teacher, he's in his thirties, and he can't seem to keep any part of his life straight. When the aftermath of a one-night stand goes awry, Dean is dragged kicking and screaming out of his cozy little closet and into the harsh light of reality.
Enter: Castiel Novak, the new history teacher, who knows full well that life gets crappy when you don't allow yourself to live it in the way it needs to be lived.
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During a storm in September of 1987, Dean and Sam hear something hit their roof. When they brave the backyard to investigate, they find a fledgling angel.
A story about best friendship, spoiled plans, and love, in four parts.
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16 months ago, Cas became human.
12 months ago, Cas left the bunker and a broken-hearted Dean behind.
Now they must work a case together, where married couples are dying mysterious deaths and the only way to earn the neighbors' trust is by pretending to be married. Slowly, Dean finds that he loves being in a relationship with Cas, fake or not, and Cas finds his loneliness retreating, despite the harsh reality looming right around the corner. As Dean and Cas navigate this fake, but all too real, relationship, can they find the monster that is on a mysteriously motivated killing spree before it’s too late?