destronomics



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    Shane releases what feels like his first exhale in forever—Ilya Rozanov, taken out by the common flu. Not ignoring him. Not ending anything. Still, the knot in his chest doesn’t ease completely with the vision of Ilya unwell and alone in Shane’s head.

    JANE

    Are you at your house?

    LILY

    Where else, Jane?

    JANE

    Don’t fall asleep. I’ll be there soon. 

    LILY

    No, am sick. I told you. 

    JANE

    I heard you. I’ll be there soon.

    Or, Ilya’s sick and Shane wants, and wants, and wants. 

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    07 Jun 2026

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    "You should read some of these comments," he says, very conversational, then continues in a lower voice: "It is crazy, what these people want to do to you."

    //

    Ilya does a Calvin Klein ad. To spite Shane, probably, who has already done one.

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    29 May 2026

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    In late 2014, celebrity photos start dropping. Ilya deletes his texts, his photos, a video he should never have taken. It isn't soon enough.

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    28 May 2026

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    “Was it better? With a guy?”

    The question came out innocent, a natural follow-up. Shane took a deep breath, closing his eyes, allowing the memory to flood back. The shape of Rozanov’s face in the dim light, all the sharp lines softened. His warmth. His weight. The curve of his shoulders, the dip of his waist. Everytime he called Shane good, like it meant something more, like it was some fundamental truth and not just the sweet nothings lost to empty desires. How everytime they were together it felt like the first time, some newness continuously reinventing itself in the heat of their mouths.

    “Yeah,” Shane gave Rose a small smile, “it was.”

    “Is there,” Rose asked carefully, “someone?”

    Shane has rules. Ilya keeps changing them. Shane ends things for good during the Florida All-Star Game. Ilya gets knocked out cold by Hayden. They find their way back to the cottage anyway.

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    27 May 2026

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    Over the course of the three days, there are plenty of opportunities to tell Shane about Moscow.

    There’s dinner the first night. They’re having pasta and salmon and Ilya’s whining about the amount of chicken and beef they’ll have to eat now that bulking season is approaching. Shane says well, they’re high protein foods. Like Ilya isn’t also a professional athlete who’s been doing this for just as long as he has. That’s not what he shoots back, though. He says, lamb is a great source of protein but we never have lamb. Okay, good lamb’s hard to find. You know what has lamb? Pelmeni! We should get Russian take out sometime soon, Shane says. I’ve always wanted to try. And always means nothing in this sentence, because always is only as long as they’ve known each other for.

    Forget about take out, Ilya could say then. The best pelmeni can only be found in the motherland. Russia, Moscow! I am going there in ten days for a box of my dead-dad’s things and maybe, my dead-mother’s suicide note. But of course, he doesn’t.

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    25 May 2026