eowyn1986



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    Wyatt’s gaze flicked from Hollander to Rozanov – who looked absolutely delighted with this turn of events – and back again. “You two follow playoff traditions as well then?”

    Hollander shrugged, still catastrophically casual, “I mean, when we played on different teams we sort of had to. Conflict of interests and all that. But I meant more generally. You know what it’s like, right?”

    Wyatt wasn’t sure that he did, and was suddenly very conscious of the fact that he might not be in the least bit emotionally prepared for whatever was about to come out of Hollander’s mouth.

    “Like, the other day,” Hollander continued, seemingly unaware of the proverbial bombshell he was about to drop. “Ilya tied me up and edged me for…was it two hours?”

    “Three, moyo solnyshko,” Rozanov corrected, sounding like Christmas, his birthday, and the Easter Bunny had all come at once.


    Shane Hollander joins the Centaurs, and the team discovers that their Captain might be a certified menace, but his husband is so, so much worse.

    OR: five times Shane accidentally terrorizes the Centaurs locker room, and one time he chooses to hold back.

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    10 Jul 2026

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    Shrugging one shoulder far more casually than he possibly feels, Ilya says, “I like both. Is secret, okay?”

    “Okay,” Hollander says, voice cracking.

    He doesn’t say anything else. The air’s so heavy around them that it feels like being in the middle of a scrum, the weight and heat of all those bodies pressing down on you. Danger always feels like hockey; it’s the most dangerous thing Ilya knows, except for this. Everything dangerous in his life involves men’s bodies and just how close he can get to them. Closer than he probably should.

    A year after mysteriously dropping out of the 2009 draft, Shane Hollander is signed by the Boston Raiders, right behind Ilya Rozanov. Having the two biggest stars in the league on the same line is great for Boston — but playing alongside their worst rival was never exactly in Shane or Ilya's plans. Especially not when staying away from each other starts to feel just as impossible as getting along.

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    07 Jul 2026

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    Ilya ignored the request from the NHL twice. The first time they asked through his agent, the second time the director of marketing called his personal number directly. He never got along with the league as a player, and he certainly didn't need to make them happy now.

    The next attempt to reach him was harder to ignore. A phone call from an unknown number. A voicemail that made his blood run cold.

    "Hi Ilya. This is Rose Landry. We've never met, but Shane speaks so highly of you. I think the NHL has been trying to get in touch. Shane said you probably wouldn't talk to them. But...think about it, ok? I know it would mean a lot to him."

    The final request crumbled his resolve. The caller ID blinked "Jane," and Ilya stared at it.

    ***
    Canon divergence, Shane and Ilya are estranged for a decade. Shane finally reaches out to Ilya when he retires.

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    16 Jun 2026

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    As a straight man, Ilya Rozanov has never had a gay roommate before, but it’s going pretty well. Shane Hollander is kind, silly, and an even bigger hockey nut than Ilya.

    So when Shane starts bringing men over, and Ilya begins to want to bash their fucking heads in, Ilya comes to a startling conclusion: He must be homophobic.

    (He’s jealous.)

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    15 Jun 2026

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    Forester (Admirals🔛🔝)
    So the true way to combat the Bisexual Russian Terminator isn’t with homophobia...
    It's actually with even more gay
    ...
    You're a goddamn genius.

    ----

    The NHL rookies have joined forces to strategize now that two of the greatest hockey players of all time are on the same team and Ilya Rozanov must suffer from the unintended consequences of making hockey more woke.

    Mainly, the way everyone keeps implying that they want to fuck his husband.

    or: a group of rookies unionize and employ chirping as a form of psychological torture against a one Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov.

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    09 Jun 2026