exceedinglymediocre



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Ilya has two problems.

    The first is that his best friend is freshly single and needs to get laid. The second is that Ilya is having some...weird feelings about it.

    These are completely platonic and heterosexual concerns for his friend, of course.

    (or a college au featuring shane and ilya as best friends, and shane as ilya's bisexual awakening)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    52,370
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    739
    Kudos:
    5,748
    Bookmarks:
    1,995
    Hits:
    94,770

    11 Jul 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    A disastrous team party leaves Shane Hollander with a broken dining table, so he does what any reasonable person would do and hires someone on Task Rabbit to fix it.

    The fixer is Ilya Rozanov: charming, hot, and just enough of an asshole that Shane knows he should probably stay away.

    Yet he keeps finding things around his house that "mysteriously need repairing".

    Or: Shane has a crush on the hot handyman he hired, so he keeps making up problems to see him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,461
    Chapters:
    2/4
    Comments:
    223
    Kudos:
    1,980
    Bookmarks:
    540
    Hits:
    31,842

    09 Jul 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Hi Ilya,

    My name is Shane! I don’t speak Russian, I hope that’s okay. I’m also 25 years old and I love hockey too! So we have some things in common.

    I’ve never written an inmate before. I don’t really know why I’m doing this. I guess I’m lonely. I’m not very good at making friends or dating. I think maybe I can be a bit awkward in person, but I’m good at writing. So I hope that’s okay.

    or Shane Hollander finds Ilya Rozanov on WriteAPrisoner.com and sends him an email.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,453
    Chapters:
    3/10
    Comments:
    3,225
    Kudos:
    21,012
    Bookmarks:
    5,103
    Hits:
    272,582

    29 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    WELCOME TO THE NAYBORHOOD!!
    i am Shane i am 7 i live in the house with the blue door
    mom said give you a gift so here is drawing!!
    i draw every day almost every day
    do you like drawing?

    Ilya and his family move from Moscow to Ottawa when he is seven years old. The boy next door draws him a welcome gift.

    Or childhood friends Hollanov told through doodles and notes passed between them. Growing up is hard. At least they have each other.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,350
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    889
    Kudos:
    6,021
    Bookmarks:
    1,190
    Hits:
    66,577

    25 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Penelope (Dill)
    Omg get on with it, Cass!

    Cassie (Bood)
    Thank you
    Now, we must behave ourselves, ladies
    We have royalty in our midst

    Arden (Pointy)
    What the hell are you on about, Cassie?

    Cassie (Bood) has added Jane (Rozy) to the conversation

    Jane (Rozy)
    Uhh
    What is this?
    ______________
    or; "Jane" gets added to the Ottawa WAGs chat after Ilya drunkenly tells his teammates about "her"
    or or; Shane Hollander in his WAG era

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,389
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Comments:
    418
    Kudos:
    3,910
    Bookmarks:
    892
    Hits:
    68,419

    22 Jun 2026